_unhinged_private_psychology frAnk he wouldn't let her go. instead he held her tighter. "no, leigh. i won't let you go. not yet. not until you hear me." he said into the scent of her hair. "this is your night. everyone who is fucking anybody is here. leigh, you are huge. go with it. i will be your satellite." she pushed away from him. she looked into his eyes and dove into them. a deep blue sea. she touched his face like a butterfly landing on a flower. "do you have any wine?" she asked. and the question was lightning that interrupts reality, shining light upon what is usually hidden safely in darkness. "sure." david said. "i have a little left." they killed the bottle right there in the parking lot. and then david removed a joint from the pocket of his suitjacket. they smoked it, their lungs inhaling the sweetness of the giving earth. "feel better?" david asked. "fuck yeah." leigh said. she hugged him long and hard. and then they kissed like lovers. the lovers they used to be. the lovers they wanted to be. "let's go inside," leigh said. 021123 ... unhinged they walked in the back door and her publisher jumped on her. 'leigh. where have you been? people are waiting. are you....drunk?' she got this big smile on her face as she struggled to take her coat off. 'and who's this?' 'that's david.' 'hhhmmm.' the publisher's tone was a little accusatory. 'you said i was allowed to bring someone with me.' 'yes. let's go.' she walked out into the gallery and was swarmed with people. she wanted to leave. she had already done so many things she promised herself that she wouldn't do. 'please, please. give leigh some room. thank you.' and the crowd parted. 021123 ... frAnk david stood away from the crowd, watching. he was so fucking wasted but more so proud of leigh as she moved through the crowd and stood in front of the podium. god, she was beautiful. vanity fair was there. vogue. black book. fader. they asked their questions and leigh spoke in absolute eloquence. "how much of this novel is true to life?" they asked, and camera flashes sparkled like stars. david saw leigh and she was his star shining in the dark places of his soul. "it is inspired," leigh said, and she paused. she looked at david and extended her hand towards him. " i love you, david." "i love you, leigh." david shouted. there was a silence in the crowd. and then a reporter from elle spoke forth. "is this the man from the book?" leigh laughed, and she could not stop. silence again. david ran up to the podium and put his arms around leigh's waist and ass anf lifted her in the air. "this is the best fucking writer in the world!' he shouted. 021123 ... unhinged she could not stop laughing. he put her down. finally, someone in the crowd started laughing. and someone else started clapping. she took his hand and dragged him out of the gallery. she could hear someone running after them. the person followed them all the way out to the parking lot. 'do you think this is funny? i didn't think you would be the publicity stunt type leigh. hey. are you going to stop?' 'no richard. i'm going home.' they got into david's car. suddenly, she stopped laughing. 'i shouldn't have done that.' 'why the hell not?' 'because i don't know how much longer i can love you.' she got out of the car and walked to the curb. 'leigh. wait. what in the hell...just wait.' she was getting into a cab. suddenly he was looking at her from on the other side of a cab door. as the cab drove away, he knocked on the door. 'come on leigh. get out of the cab.' she shook her head. it had started to rain. he couldn't tell if she was crying, or it was the rain running down the window. .... she pulled up to his apartment and paid the cabby. 'just keep the change.' she knocked on the door. 'come on karago. let me in.' 'so it is you.' he opened the door with sleep in his eyes and an unlit cigarette in his mouth. 'is it not a little early for the party to be over?' 021123 ... frAnk karago ran his hand across his unshaven beard and continued it up to his disheveled hair. he closed the door behind leigh and helped her take off her coat. he suggested she sit down, but she kept walking and ended up in the kitchen. he could easily tell she was on fire, but what it was she was burning he could not yet tell. "how was the party?" he yelled, lighting his cigarette. "they loved me. they all love me!" she yelled back. karago could hear opening a rolling rock. "then waht the fuck are you doing here?" he asked, moving into the kitchen. he stood beside her as she took a long drink from the green bottle of beer. she looked deep into his eyes. "oh karago," she thought. "how can i love someone who will never love me?" but what she said was entirely different. "fuck me." 021130 ... unhinged "because my dear you are always running from the people that love you." he took the bottle out of her hand. she didn't resist him. somehow she never could. "from the sound and look of things you have had plenty of this kind of thing tonight." her hands were shaking noticeably and she snagged the cigarette that was hanging out of his mouth. he wanted more than anything to touch her but she had come to him running from something else. she needed him; she didn't want him. he grabbed the cigarette out of her mouth. "why did you come here leigh?" "he is going to be waiting for me." "come here then." he led her into his bedroom and took off her clothes. there was a pile of pajamas at the foot of the bed. "i suppose now is not the time for me to draw you. pick what you like and crawl into my bed." "where are you going?" "to sleep on the couch." 021201 ... frAnk in the morning life changes. shake the etch-a sketch and yesterday is gone. leigh woke with a raging headache. she stumbled about the unfamiliar room, and then past karago who was busy in the kitchen squeezing orange juice. the sharp, fresh scent was desireable somehow to her. she kept on, into the bathroom. "how do you feel?" he called with his back to her. "like shit," she mumbled. she ran her hand through her limp hair and started a bath. she looked in the mirror and grooaned. "david was here," he yelled. leigh did not respond. "he wants you to call him." she pressed her eyes with her trembling fingers and quicky turned around to face the toilet. she had the overwhelming urge to vomit, but it would not come. she heard the fone ring. once. twice. it stopped. she heard karago's cheerful accent above the cascading water. then a knock on the bathroom door. "leigh. it's david." 021209 ... unhinged 'i don't want to talk to him.' 'i am not going to be in the middle of this anymore than i already am.' the phone was suddenly in her face. 'talk to him.' leigh felt like everything was moving in slow motion. she grabbed the phone from him and hung it up without saying a word. 'how the hell did he know where you lived?' 'i do not know but obviously he is persistent.' there was an annoying twinkle in karago's eye. 'maybe i should just go home.' 'do what you like.' she knew those games never worked with him. she walked back into the bedroom looking for her clothes. 'would you like me to call you a taxi?' she fell down on the bed with her clothes in her hands, just looking at him. the doorbell rang. 'if that is him at my door again....' he trailed off as he walked towards the door. he looked in the peephole and looked back at leigh. she ran to the bathroom. suddenly, she felt violently ill. 021209 ... frAnk "where is she?" david asked. the urgency in his voice was desperate, like a child, lost and alone. he stood at karago's door looking past him, into the apartment. his eyes were bloodshot and wild. "she doesn't want to see you," karago said, cold and distant as a marble statue of himself. he began to close the door. david pushed past him and ran inside. he called leigh's name, his voice breaking. on her knees in the bathroom, leigh got up enough to set the latch and then fell down on the beehive tile in a heap of dissolution. she sharply sucked air and let it out with a wave of brokeness. david pulled on the door. he banged on it with a closed fist. he could hear the strains of her sobbing. karago had been playing the record "sous le dome epais," from delibe's opera, lakme, and the two sounds were oddly, musically paralleled. "please open the door." david cried, fighting the tragedy threatening to become his life. 021210 ... unhinged 'GO AWAY. just go away.' leigh had pulled herself up into the bathtub and shut the shower curtain so that she couldn't see the doorknob moving. david had collapsed on the other side of the door with his head in his hands. karago had walked back into the kitchen and was still squeezing orange juice with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. 'are you content to leave her alone yet?' 'no.' 'well i guess we could sit like this all day.' leigh decided to take a shower and the water was running. david would not move from the door. karago leaned on the counter, staring at him. 'she does not want to see you.' 'i know.' 'then why are you here?' david looked up at him and couldn't speak. why was he here? maybe he should just leave her alone like she wanted...the water stopped running and his heart was yanked into his throat. 'is he still here?' 'yes.' they spoke simultaneously. she sat down on the toilet in karago's robe and picked up a magazine that was on the sink. 021210 ... frAnk love_dismembers_hours 021213 ... andru235 well? is david going to propose to her or not? if david doesn't propose to her within the week, i'm never going to a complete performance of gotterdammerung again. 051019 ... andru235 that'll show david... 051019 what's it to you? who go blather from