merry_christmas_blather unhinged i know i've been absent but still present these days, but i'm working on getting back. miss you all happy shortest day of the year merry christmas joyous new year happy hanukah may the light of love and compassion burn bright in you for everyone to see 051224 ... IGG merry christmas unhinged, hope things are going ok for you. yeah merry christmas everyone, or yuletide greetings, or general happiness and peace and shit. love ya. 051224 ... oren Merry Christmas, unhinged and IGG and_the_rest! 051224 ... east bay is pig latin for beast lestivus notus forgetamus festivus 051224 ... monkey out in space happy holidays for everybody [i suppose that's politically correct..?] anyway, yeah, if xmas is your thing - have a good one! 051224 ... thorn Happy Holidays! Or Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Yule, or whatever. 051224 ... unhinged i got a wireless card for my laptop so now all i have to do is snake out a good wifi spot near campus :-) merry christmas blather; i'll be back for good soon. 051225 ... unhinged ps. things are going much better these days; i hope all of you are well now too. 051225 ... emmi merry blather christmas everyone 051225 ... ! snowy_blather 051226 ... oldephebe oh yes by all means happy holidays and quanza and hannuka and all of that to each aevery soul. i know this saounds sardonic but it's more the coloration o fme spending the last trying to exanguinate from me soul..geez i've spent the last few days trying to cry all of the pain and anguish that some beautifully broken blower, soem beuatiful black orchid screamed into my soul, and yeah it unburdened her, it ..i mean then the next day she poured a little more acid in there because i, in my austic state am just so hard to reach...and then once she finally dead reach me i fucking almost destroyed me - she screamed her fucking soul into me..you get that right? how the hell do you answer that? how the hell do carry that wheight and pain around inside of you. i mean some things CAN't be. what is bound by a and of gold just can't be fucked with no matter how bad it hurts to be around the person, you just don't go around taking advantage of people who are vulnerable. I eman the cost to her sould've been just to great. The cost to him would've been just to great. I'm not Judas and I can't place my hand in someone else's and say let's go and destroy one anothers lives in one great passionate obliterating ride even if we touched something beyond flesh, something that was like watching a sun blazing over the horizon out of a window that only the two of us could witness - w/o touching or speaking or even knowing what the hell it was..at once perfectly innocent and capable of destroying several lives and my late winter summons to the ministrations of humanity, to humanity. What the fuck am I putting this on this page for? So finally after round two or three of failing to get me to respond because i can't a universe or a thing that she could do that would ever cause resentment or anger in me, i just took it all, the pain the anger the frustration, the glory of her incandescant soul, the power and you know me and my stupidity and reticense and horrible social skills..i just took it all and died a little bit each tear each second it drove the sun in deeper and it pretty much put it's mark in me. but i sense that she is more or less back to normal and i have one consolation and that is that she is happy, empowered back to herself more or less and that warms me. so yeah i'll bear the burning fruit in my spirit quietly forever and i'll never quite know what the fuck quite happened to me, she'll never knwo why the hell i never said anything to her about it. but with my tongue, with my heart set on fire, if wrote the song of my heart out upon the canapoy of her questing eyes, her seraphic heart, it'd burn the air, i mean i just couldn't BEAR it - someone would just implode uner the implications of it all. she shouted her soul inside of me and it almost killed me and i think those embers will be burning for quite sometime. Yep. that's me tenement of death forever falling down. i want to say. "that's why i DON't express a lot of emotions, that's why i'm quiet, i'm trying so hard not to be touched and not to feel because when something does break through the gates and pierce the stony wall it's just too much, i just feel it waaaaaay too much. now i'm narcissus ugly brother trying not to stare into the muddy water and each fainst ripple of her spirit gushes over me and each stubborn tear bides its' time to steak down my face in the absence and emptiness of that third fllor apt, or in the driving wind and the pelting freezing rain and yet it still doesn't swallow up my choked and somehow still wet sobs. but she's herself again and happy and empowered, she shook that shit off and broke it up and i'm just wondering what the hell am I supposed to do with it? she's happy and that really does bring me joy. she was like a tigress living in a cramped cave and she rose up bellowing and me wordlessly cught every note, me wordlessly and w/o trying and she too broke through some barrier w/o wanting to or w/o any conscious desire and it was w/o flesh and w/o corruption and god i just don't EVEN know. you can't come between the ring and the vow and now i don't even know if she is aware of the arrow in my wound. i i i walked with it myself until it worked its way down deep enough to touch that intimate tender place of scream. stir the marrow and unyoke the tears. i called cupid a bastard once. i have many many mean names for that consp[iratorial sadstic fucking muse. i asked her to wash her eyes from this and she did. i wish i could. So fly like a black bird whose glorious plummage catches green, purple highlest in the fold of its regal wings, taunting the sun and dauntless expertly riding the currents, dashing aside posidon breaths coming to cast its gaze over a the radiance of a white feathered field of dahlias - white flower effulence - setting forth a stinging riot of ambrosia and suffering, setting the air air to seeth and ripple. So i'll weep my warm tear - you'll find them - drying ember cast upon my whitened bones. the suffering soul seeks no thing for itself, it eschews the vanity of human wishes, it does not build crystal cathedrals of its own wish and longing and awakened ache. is it even longing though? loves mist contains many deluding phantoms that wait for the souls plunder...you know? it's so fucking hard NOT to surrender wones very soul to such a song. it'll happen. it'll inhabit you like bedlam and roaring wind like a restless fire questing and roaming and perambulating in search of death, in search of its merciful surcease. One whisper to end it all. one gentle quiet last whisper and then to sleep and not to feel any more of this. ... i can't cry this couls out of me, i can't burn it out of me, so i guess its just for me to quietly bear the burning fruit. i guess so yeah merry christmas i'll just keepdrinking cupids bitter bottmless cup of rancid coffee and ruefully stare into its bottom. ... 051226 ... oE what is bound by a band of gold and consecrated by a holy unshatterable unshakeable covenant - you just don't fuck with that. some things have to be still be respected and honored in this world. ... 051226 ... oE i meant to say i can't CRY this Soul out of me. ... 051226 ... Kevin DiCanddido i need cofee for xmas 051226 ... u24 Greetings one and all. I would like to extend wishes of good cheer and happiness to everyone. We are blatherskites, bound together forever by an unbreakable bond of a special blue hue. Never forget that we are here for each other. In your loneliest moments, you are still joined to us and with us, and also in your happiest. We smile with you, laugh with you, and cry with you, and you with us. Remember this, and think of one another today and all days. Spread the love, share the peace, be unified and have respect. Happy Christmas. 071225 ... delial merry Christmas, indeed! http://www.bentkey.net/art/card2k7.jpg (my card design this_year) I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday. with cookies. 071225 ... no reason it's the quietest one in recent memory, feels odd hmm merry christmas all 071225 ... Strideo Merry day after Christmas! :) ... 071226 ... IGG hope your day is as magical as it was in childhood. much love my blue friends 111225 ... thy happy_xmas! 111225 ... in a silent way got excited for a second when i thought three_words would get all festive like it does on blather's birthday. no dice. well, you can't have it all. merry_christmas to the blue ones, where'er you may roam. may all your snow be steaming hot, and may all your cider be sparkly and white. wait, that's not right… 141225 ... dafremen =) 141225 ... fishawk Happy winter time : ) Xmas is such a quiet lonely day out and about... Glad I have my heartmate and goa_pup to share it with.and the sunshine and sound of crispy leaves on trees in the wind. 141225 ... user24 My mind always turns to old friends at this time of year, hope you are all well :) 161225 ... unhinged and happy hanukah 161225 ... oren Hello_Blather 161226 ... Doar hello_blather_my_old_friend 161228 what's it to you? who go blather from