screaming
silentbob everybody everywhere
i have this fetus in my hands
i found it in a toilet stall
why it was in the mens room, i dont know
but would everybody everywhere
please
stop screaming?
000824
...
Katie I'm screaming and no one hears, I'm crying in pain but with no tears. I'm driving a car that no one stears,no wonder I can't dream without my fears 001126
...
silentbob katie quit screaming at me 001126
...
Rhin I remember the screams of the refugees, fleeing the eruption of Mount Pinatubo. They stumbled off the ships, and the cargo planes, in masses, on our tiny island. Some were silent. Others screamed uncontrollably. All of them were in shock, and more than I wanted to count, carried dead infants, or their dead pets in their arms. Some never made it to the island alive. The one's who did make it, were alive, but only physically. They would mumble bits and pieces of their ordeal, as they seemed to perpetually re-live their ordeal, over and over. The blank looks on their faces, as they mentioned walking by buildings, and seeing the buildings collapse, from the weight of the soot, and in the process crushing the people, seeking shelter, under it's formerly solid structure. They spoke of stepping over bodies, not knowing if they were alive or not, but afraid to stop and check. Some of the women screamed for their missing children. Some of the children would scream for their missing parents. For days.....I would drive to the flightline, pick up a few, bring them home, feed and bathe them (which was no easy task. the ash crept into every imaginable body part. it was unreal). I hugged them, begged them to eat more, and held them while they screamed. Then I would return my charges, back to the flightline, for departure to the U.S. mainland, while picking up more to bring home. This went on for days, and nights. I have never felt so helpless, or at a loss for words. What do you say to someone, who has just received the wrath of a natural disaster, of this proportion? I just screamed with them.

It took a little time, before the ashened air, reached our island, but when it did, this display, made our normally beautiful South Pacific sunsets seem to pale in comparison. They were absolutely breath-taking. Isn't it ironic, how some things in life, can be so beautiful, and at the same time, so ugly?
001126
...
1991 the unsuspectng partygoers as i dragged my quarry at gunpoint from the evening's festivities

but that was how the "victim" planned it

no one ever calls the cops
in a place like that
001126
...
1991 if you ever need to disappear from people who are fxing to do you in, arrange to have yourself kidnaped at gunpoint and make sure your passport is in order 001126
...
misstree it was
like all rebirths:
bloody, naked, and screaming
001127
...
danielle no one hears it.
no one senses it.
ill sit here alone screaming.
and no one cares.
010123
...
sabbie AHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


i wish i felt better now...
010329
...
birdmad doesn't help me anymore 010330
...
velvet spasm yonder onward, way beyonder 010331
...
abms something inside of me is screaming to get out. 010405
...
abms i want to scream into a pillow but afraid someone will hear 010405
...
dls it's what i want to do

i'm afraid my spirit will get out
010414
...
PCD my grandmother worried that if she sneezed her spirit would leave her body so for years she didn't sneeze. Scream dls, you lose nothing by screaming except inhibitions, travail and anger. 010423
...
Devilsquishy Deep inside of me there is this muffled sound. It's been weighted down by the force of my heart the only thing that even notices it. Still, the sound is growing...it feeds off everything. Everytime you touch me it grows.... When they look at me in that way...it just gets bigger. You can't ignore it, cause then it will grow out of control. That's how it got here in the first place. No, you must keep a steady eye on it. The heart has been losing the will to subdue it. It's engulfing me. It is every lie that's been told to me, every slap in the face, every no, every dream ever stolen. I worry for it is taking over me. I need release... I am it. 010617
...
Rhinna me. 011031
...
codosYculos I slipped asleep once, or so I thought, only to awaken in full-body scream. Paralyzed, every cell, every molecule of fuel unleashing a dying scream I could feel ripping up the insides of my throat. Blood vessels ruptured; I was terrified. What was causing this? Why couldn't I stop this? When would my father come panicked down the stairs with a handgun, fearing a blooded corpse, too late?

Covered in cold sweat, I waited, embarrassed. Only after a few minutes did I understand I hadn't screamed. How was it so conscious, so real? To this day it makes me wonder.
020307
...
jackie "the shrieking dead" mc cracken i_wanna_hear_you_scream 020308
...
silentbob your hair is everywhere
screaming infidelities and taking its wear
020308
...
reitoei aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ear-spliting, soul shredding sounds of terror and agony. nightmares echoing through the world of brick and steel, and no one in the world wants to hear it. you can scream in your sleep and no one will hear. but scream in the world we call real and everyone stops for just a moment and looks at you. and wonders what there is to fear 020308
...
PEACELOVESHEEP screaming and crying and
screaming and crying
but no one seems to hear...
020627
...
myplasticmind can you hear her silent screams? 020829
...
silentbob at the top of this blathe is a blathe about a fetus

and i don't know why i said it
or what i was thinking at the time

is it possible to disturb yourself?
030113
...
paste! very possible

i look back at some of the stuff i wrote and scare the hell outta myself. i'm a weird shetland pony sometimes.
030113
...
lee smith needs your vote AHHHH
PAAAASSSSTE!!!!!
HE'S A SHETLAND PONY FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!
AHHHHHHH
030113
...
paste! SORRY, ONLY CHILDREN AND MIDGETS PLEASE.

BREEEEEEEEHEEHEHEEGREEE!
030113
...
Lilac SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO GIVE UP ON EVERYTHING.
EVERYTIME THERE IS
SOMETHING I WANT,
SOMETHING THAT IS IMPORTANT TO ME, SOMETHING THAT I WANT TO DO,
IT GETS FUCKED UP
SOME WAY
SOME HOW
EVERYTHING IS TAINTED OR LOST.
030114
...
jen it always makes you feel better 030114
...
sirflaccid AGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Still doesn't feel any better
030125
...
iNsEcUrE_GoTh_GiRl i want to scream out all the pain and anger, but i still hate having to kind of keep it in so that everyone around me thinks that im behaving normally.
(as if)
031228
...
phil The release is damaging, when you scream and scream and still it is not released quickly enough, where the screaming cannot stop.

Enraged words unshelving emotion after emotion until before the walls themeselves begin to collapse in.
040526
...
puredream to you. 040527
...
Garcon Walking through living rooms,
crowded with teenagers
drinking their liquors and
parking their Beamers
and smoking a joint on the back porch in August
And waiting for the days that must come upon us
And take us away to corners of USA
An unexplored city and campus and all new kids
And parties with strangers
And bottles of whisky
And missing the girl who said she would miss me too.
Well, do you?
Well, do you?
050206
...
unhinged POLLY
pacing down your hall
light fills up your room
conscience makes the call
as you're going nuts in your head
i think you know the feeling
seven days in your bed
staring at the ceilling
you're gonna raise hell
you'll take over this town
temptation gets you
everytime
damnation can't be far behind
addiction like a stray
dog will only stay
if fed and watered everyday
blowing up in your mind
with no hair left to pull out
say your feeling just fine
ever since school let out
busting out of this shell
burn this whole place down
well it looks so easy
maybe we'll see it on t.v.
everyone's so happy
everyone's so pretty
temptation gets you
everytime
damnation can't be
all there is
that's all there is
temptation gets you
everytime
damnation can't be far behind
--- frank silver


if i looked like on the outside what i felt like on the inside, someone would haul me away and lock me up for good
050216
...
Syrope must suppress urge to lash out.

there isn't really any need for it.

not any more.

and that's what's saddest.
070129
...
niecespieces FUCK.
SCREAMING.
THIS LAND.
YOUR FACE.
YOU KILL THE PLANET.
DIE HUMANS.
SAVE HUMANITY.
AHHHHHHHHHH
090318
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from