if_jesus_were_to_visit_this_website
The Truth If Jesus were to visit this website:

He would not be angry about all the remarks posted against Him (and there are many). He would not "lash out" like those "Christian" activists you see at public events. He would not send bad people to corrupt and tempt you, to punish you.
No.

He would Love you, each and every one of you. He would forgive you, each and every one of you. He would patiently wait for you to seek Him, then He would surround you with Love.
Yes.
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Anyone Oh...
I always thought that would be Ricky Martin.
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kx21 The_Truth:-

Given that God is invincible and Everything is created by God.

'All the remarks posted against God'
is a false statement?
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kx21 All the remarks, statements, etc.. made by Men are products / byproducts of God... 010430
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silentbob but the next time jesus comes back, it will be to collect the believers. he will not be forgiving then. 010430
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jesus hey- relax for christ's sake goddamnit!! 010430
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yummychuckle It would be pretty sad, because if jesus has nothing better to do than visit this website, the world must be going down.

damn starbucks.
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sabbie then i would love to read the funny things he would write about.

i dont really believe he spouted all those words about shepards and pigs and demons all the time. i bet he told really wicked drinking stories too.


but i bet he wouldnt post under his own name. it's already been taken. i wonder what name he would post under.

salome?
gregory the 9th?
brian?

i wonder...
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Barreeeeettttttttt Bob the Builder, me thinks 010606
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The Truth Hmmm...He did hang out with the party crowd!

He would probably not falsify his name. So if it were different, it would be equivelant, an analogy.
Like...hmmm...something having to do with plants, or life. All of His analogies (parables) in the bible are in reference to living things, like wheat, farms, and our relationships...probably because those are timeless subjects.


He would be called : Wheat Farmer...yeah!
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Miner you would have to assume that somebody taught him how to use a puter and the net. 010609
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baby satan i taught jesus how to rock and roll. 010609
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Pythagorus Well, if we're going to be poorly assuming the obvious, we may as well assume He has fingers (so he can type) too! Oh, and while we're at it, we might as well assume He understands English too, opposed to the Arimaic or Hebrew that He would have spoken 2000 years ago.

Of COURSE HE KNOWS HOW TO USE THE INTERNET!!! :P

He's cool like that.
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kingsuperspecial would he know where my thumb up my ass was? I've been trying to figure out...oh, nevermind. I found it. 010721
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Aimee maybe he's already been here. 010721
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lali he would cry 010721
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fuckaname what he fuck does it matter jesus if true can already see everything you do like right now the pervert is watching me masterbate to some hot teen girl taking off her clothes gee i wonder if hes masterbating too his father one the one that made this dickstick 010813
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satasn satan satan (feeling rather surly of late) if jesus' first visit were today, those who most loudly claim to act in his name would be the cause of his greatest consternation as they would brand him some kind of bleeding heart hippy

they would line up to drive the nails

he knows your souls

i know your hearts

he paid the price of love, yet still none are any nearer.

no wonder dad wants to use fire next time, 'cause boats burn too.

my bet is on the roaches.
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ice i hate it when people can't spell masturbate right 011114
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Dafremen Beats all of the folx that can't DO it right. Damn shower curtain is STILL stiff..those bastages! 011114
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ClairE He'd be just as hooked. What do you think his handle would be? 011210
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oren How about, "the Word." 011210
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Effingham Fish I like Wheat Farmer. That's cool. 011211
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kx21 Breakiing News from Jesus:-

b1) The scope of current Holy book is too limited and its content are very dull?

b2) There is a need for New Hold Book?
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x_marajade_x 'Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.' 011214
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buenos dias me llamo Jesus i visit this website all the time
i just never knowing what to say
but then again my english is not to good
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chuy or ju can call me 011214
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Norm I think it would boost his ego to think that after so many years he's still a hot topic with the young people. 011214
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oppressed_youth I bet he doesn't need to use spell check. 021122
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phil He would only post once, and nobody would like it, he'd be dirty and steal your woman.
He'd be obsessed with teaching. While she'd be obsessed with him, in bed she would be asking questions like, "what would jesus do?"
He'd probably perform a few web page miracles, big extravagant 3-d throne room with partyfenelia and wine. Where an AI-jesus would keep trying to feed you bread.
The pope would probably visit, along with many others. And of course by the end of the year everyone women would claim to have the next messiah on the way.
We would all be banned from blather or have to pay some outrageous fee to get on, and it would be crowded, constant white screen.
Then after a while Jesus would go, he would either hang himself or get mobbed by vicious fans and reporters and fall out of his escape helicopter.
The posts left behind would be ridiculous 9000000 line ravings by lunatics, and holy scripture. Lost questions to the messiah, and just a bunch of crap.
Reported sighting would keep coming up, foot prints. We would all have to sign government documents stating that we did not speak with god.
We'd all be interviewed on talk shows, but some idiot like Daf or Paste! would make up some bogus story about how it was really him posting or how Jesus had healed their mental problem.
Then we would all go our seperate ways.
Some would become oldfolks, others might open up a chain of sandal stores. Some might even start a new religion, but in the end, the real end, we would all be thankful for what he gave us... marijuana.
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User24 phil, mmmmmm,,,,,,,nkjbjhb mbn,, !

(hey, it beats 'lol')
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once again What about The_carpenter...

and he could have his own Ask page, we could call it "What_would_Jesus_Do?"

=P
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zxc he has already been here. he has come here with me. 040615
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obvious Jesus was here. He posted as Chrity. 040615
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witchesrequiem jesus is coming! look busy! 040615
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mr song Please don't try to preach to me. I don't believe in the possibilities of Christ visiting this site.

I'm a pagan, I don't need christian advice. We come from the Mountains, the Fires and the Trees. Enlighten me not I am enlightened. All Gods are one God. I don't hate christians, i hate it when people shove it down our throats. I just don't recognize Christian theology. I am proud of my works, I've experienced magick. I don't attend christian churches, the forrests are my church.

Blessed Be!
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Lemon_Soda Are you saying you don't except advice from christians or that advice empowered by christrian docterine is inherently flawed? 070627
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Strideo I like the idea that yummychuckle had about how sad it would be if Jesus had nothing better to do than to surf blather.

Kind of made me think: What if Jesus had a blog?
...
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mr song I have chosen this path because I feel comfortable with it, it makes more sence. We don't live by dogmas created behind the popet. I feel a certain kinship with the natural world, a belief that divinity was not something apart from us but something within all of us: humans, animals, birds, plants. within all life and within the Earth. Advice empowered by christian docterine is inherently flawed, yes! First of all, Christianity has Pagan DNA.

see: http://northernway.org/pagandna.html
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Lemon_Soda YOur very right. Many religous traditions were born from a necisity to ingratiate the populace to a new religion. By "converting" yule celebrations etc, into christmas(Christ's Mass) and other "christian" holidays, it made the transition easier. As for divinity in all things, including ourselves, your absolutely right. As a christrian I believe that all things carry the spirit, and that we are children of the divine and thus have divinity in ourselves. These are things I learned in sunday school.


Heh. Its funny, though...almost all of my friends are pagan so they call me the "token christian" at our get togethers.
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ren margitte - otherwise known as u24 this is not a website. 070628
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urrrrrr... thats old and morbid
lets not talk about Jesus...
maybe he was a real man but it is the past,
those stories just are like horror movies to me.
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mr song yes. he was an existing man, a holy man, but not the messiah. 070628
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camille now why in hell would he want to visit the site?...sheesh

of course he loves us all we'd be burned the hell up already. He has more patience than most christians who are busy yapping and making statements like.. "I'm a christian! and asking questions like, "I'm a christian, what are you?

he ate with sinners... talked with them and frowned on the hypocrites..

Love isn't easily offended...
mmm sorry had to make a statement
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kung Fu why do people put names on things,
why do people want to glorify each other when we are all equal ?
it doesn't make any sense to me.

"I am a Robot, I'm going to the shop"

life is about laughing and dancing not about who's the greatest dickhead.
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cube The question is moot. Of course He has visited this website - His disciples are His eyes and ears and fingers and toes.

He lives in them and they in Him. Have you ever felt Jesus looking at you?
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fuffle oh !

the bloodline !


maybe its true the' Da Vinci Code' ?

wonder whats true in that book and whats not ?
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. "i am a robot, i am going to the shop" 070630
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pretend gold "Adam, i am going down the shop to buy ten fags do you want a drink or some crisps?"


"it's not tin foil it's my new skin"
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dosquatch jesus_built_my_hotrod shadowboxing_the_apocalypse

I_just_want_to_be_god
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Monk A Spam? 120421
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f "Jesus" in history - is dead and i don't believe he ever harmed anyone, that, in fact was probably him moto in life.
Don't harm anyone and you (in hope) will not be harmed.

Jesus believed in forgiveness, in fact he preached this.

he gave people a chance to change

i am no sure if he went as far as having categories for this the way Hitler did.
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f "Jesus" in history - is dead and i don't believe he ever harmed anyone, that, in fact was probably him moto in life.
Don't harm anyone and you (in hope) will not be harmed.

Jesus believed in forgiveness, in fact he preached this.

he gave people a chance to change

i am no sure if he went as far as having categories for this the way Hitler did.
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f "Jesus" in history - is dead and i don't believe he ever harmed anyone, that, in fact was probably him moto in life.
Don't harm anyone and you (in hope) will not be harmed.

Jesus believed in forgiveness, in fact he preached this.

he gave people a chance to change

i am no sure if he went as far as having categories for this the way Hitler did.
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f "Jesus" in history - is dead and i don't believe he ever harmed anyone, that, in fact was probably him moto in life.
Don't harm anyone and you (in hope) will not be harmed.

Jesus believed in forgiveness, in fact he preached this.

he gave people a chance to change

i am no sure if he went as far as having categories for this the way Hitler did.
120422
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f "Jesus" in history - is dead and i don't believe he ever harmed anyone, that, in fact was probably him moto in life.
Don't harm anyone and you (in hope) will not be harmed.

Jesus believed in forgiveness, in fact he preached this.

he gave people a chance to change

i am no sure if he went as far as having categories for this the way the Devil did.
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