he_loves_another Blue Eyes I share a house with my best friend. And he has a girlfriend, and it's all fun and games when the three of us hang out. Until it's not all fun and games, until we go from being three people to a couple, plus me. Which happened tonight, and it gets really uncomfortable to be around. That, and I tend to stay at friends' homes when she comes up to see him. Tonight that was not something I could do, and the tension was almost tangible. She wanted sex, he might have but wasn't going to because I have made it clear by my leaving the house when she's around that I'm not taken with them doing the nasty. I've told my friend time and again that I have keys to another friend's apartment where I can stay on a moment's notice and he just needs to say the word, and I'll go. He insists that this is unnecessary, but I hate being put in that position. What makes it weird for me is that I love him, with more than the strong platonic love he feels for me. I feel not only left out but somewhat cheated when I see them together. And yet, I see how he treats her, and I wouldn't want it for myself. He treats her well, but he tells her only the sweetest part of the truth: not his doubts about their relationship or his innermost concerns. Just the fluff. He tells me everything. I just want to feel okay about this. Sans alcohol. 040920 ... full stop switch the male-female role and im in the same boat. it's impossible to hate someone you love. sometimes i wish i could. 040920 ... Zoe i had a dream the other night that he loved another. i was sitting in my house when someone (a stranger) burst into my room and told me that i couldn't hang out with him anymore because he was dating someone else. this is kinda amusing considering he doesn't love me and we aren't dating, just sleeping around. do i love him? 040921 ... Blue Eyes He does love another...and it's okay. My roommate sat me down and said that his relationship with this girlfriend affects his and my relationship, and why is that? It took me a while to get my thoughts together (how much do I tell him? the entire, sordid truth?) and when I did, I just laid it out for him. To make a long story short, I thought that the reason we weren't together was twofold: 1) I didn't ask him out, so he didn't know how much I liked him and 2) he wasn't attracted to me. In short, both things that were my fault, and have caused me much envy. When I talked with him, neither of my worries were based in fact, which was a huge relief. It was the first time in my life that someone has told me point-blank that they're attracted to me. I knew, and have known for a while, that he and I would not be a good romantic match, but I couldn't get past the feeling that I wanted him anyway. We truly are better suited as friends. Anyway, now I can see them together and NOT think "she has my guy." I feel happy for him and for them, genuinely. 041004 ... Blue Eyes Me again. I'm guessing that not many people read this page, as there aren't many posts. That's okay; I sort of like my little saga in this niche of the information superhighway (a 1990s cliche, I know). Anyway, my friend broke up with the girl I mentioned before, the one that made my heart bleed with envy when I saw them together. And I had my friend back, for about a week, until he started dating Cashier Girl. Now that one is gone and he's looking for the next one. He's smart and funny and flirty and good-looking and oh-so-charming, so the women swarm around him. The biggest revelation to me was that when the Cashier Girl came into the picture and he'd gushingly talk about her, I thought he was adorable. I was genuinely happy for him. No stomach-twisting jealousy, no wanting to run (not walk) away as fast as I can. As it stands now, we're closer because we've been though stuff like that. I can see ways that we're completely incompatible, but other ways where we're completely compatable. I'll keep you updated. 050406 ... eternal solitude yes!!! and it`s been 8 month since then, I can`t believe it! he was the kind of guys that never have a serious relation with anyone! damn! 050406 ... *Amy* how to do expect me to love you if the one I love desn`t love me the way I`d like 050406 ... Freak ...and so do I 050407 ... Blue Eyes The long lost epilogue: He does love another, a different one than the previous posts. I like this one, I genuinely do. She's a great person, and my roommate may have finally met his match. But our relationship is deteriorating. He's not even nice to me anymore; just snide comments, unwarrented criticism, or silence. Sometimes, rarely, some small talk or witty banter. Consistent disregard of my things. So...I'm moving out, which will probably end my relationship with him. He does love another, and that's great. The REAL problem is that he doesn't love me, in any way. But alas, it is time. 060909 ... just another teen tripper oh hun that's really sad to read. much sympathy and i hope you can find a way not to get back the way you were before, because that never seems to happen, but to be able to go forwards and find a different route to being friends again. just don't hope for the past back, because i don't think that will happen. the best way seems to be to look forward, but then again that's a well known cliche. much luck x 060910 ... Blue Eyes Me again. I'm in my new apartment, and have been for two months. I have had NO contact with Paul (except for me sending a check for utilities for the last days I was there, which responded to the letter he sent me about said utilities). It was heartwrenching and emotionally draining to leave, but surprisingly easy to stay away. I hadn't realized I was so unhappy, and how very MUCH of my emotional energy was spent thinking, justifying, mulling over and reacting to my living situation. It's sort of like the frog metaphor: if you put a frog in boiling water, he'll feel pain and jump out. But if you put him in cold water and slowly turn the heat up to boiling, he'll cook himself. I spent so much time making excuses in my mind, telling myself that it wasn't that bad, that I didn't realize how bad it had gotten. Long story short: I'm so grateful to be on my own again. Money's real tight, but I'm genuinely happy and thoroughly enjoying life. If I wasn't at once incredibly hard-headed and stubbornly optimistic, I could have saved a lot of time. Better late than never, I suppose. Oh, justanotherteentripper - - thanks. I found your response when I was hurting (emotionally), and your words meant a lot. Email me sometime, if you want to. 061208 ... Blue Eyes Life is great. I changed jobs and am very happy, have a great family and wonderful friends. I have goals (physical, personal and career goals) and am making progress towards said goals. It's a beautiful, bright, bitterly cold day outside - what's not to love? Just last week I reconnected with an old high school friend after several years. I doubt anyone reads this, really. I do, from time to time, when I forget how far I've come. But if you do read this, feel free to comment or email... 071213 ... just another teen tripper hey, well done hun, i think you've done amazingly well. i don't come on blather much any more but i saw this up and by some chance coincidence i clicked on it and saw this again. i'm glad everything is working out. 071213 ... unhinged what else is new? they always do 071213 ... daxle I know that he can love another and love me at the same time. I know this because I have loved and do love more than one person at a time. Love is only as scarce as we make it. 071214 ... minnesota_chris good luck with that, I've always seen those things dissolve into jealousy. or a restricted, carefully controlled affection. 071223 ... montauk God Blue Eyes, I wish there were more survival stories out there, like this. 071224 ... Govinda there's probably a few about who have seen the scarcity of yours. learn, young one, that your experience is not universal, you could head off a great deal of needless argument if you knew how to better qualify your words 071224 ... daxle it's going quite well, actually. maybe I'll go back to self destructing when I'm older and more mature ;P 080423 what's it to you? who go blather from