banter trazlo Words flowing ceaselessly, carelessly Mind numbing communication but nothing is clear You say hi, bye, fuck you, I love you, But it is never truly taken how you mean it. The only words understood are the shallow ones Without real meaning 010216 ... nr playful, affectionate, good-natured banter is not the same as critical, defensive nitpicking 201130 ... dafremen This is an interesting bigotry. Hopefully random, in-the-moment digestion of the thought/feeling will elucidate why I feel this way. Processing, homie. Ok, maybe this: I watch a movie like "Blue Velvet" by David Lynch who truly hopped back and forth between genius and batshit crazy, (crayon-illustrating the old axiom about genius and insanity) and I'm very SURE after a lot of sharing this movie with others, that I see it a bit backward to most of the people I know. In the movie, we're supposed to be following along with the two protagonists, played by Laura Dunn & Kyle MacLachlan. They are middle class. Her dad's a detective, he's a college student. Society has provided them with a narrative for their lives and their relationship with that narrative. Reality outside the middle class bubble is a passing concern, a Salvation Army bell & bucket..until it affects them personally. They live relatively scheduled, middle class lives. Then Kyle's character finds a severed human ear in a field..and like the sheltered from the 90% steeped in poverty, bored middle class kids that they are, they decide to make someone's severed ear..into an adventure. A private investigation. Turns out that stepping outside the little safety bubble afforded by boredom and security, to titillate ourselves with the tragedies of others..can lead to us living through poverty's DAILY MISERY just long enough to have a story to tell..or PTSD for the effort. See..I grew up on the OTHER side of that bubble getting my ass beat by disillusioned poor people. So the movie REALLY made sense..some middle class viewers might have seen it as a crazy train. (Not wrong.) I enjoyed watching them see what other people deal with. It was..sad, but I thought (and the movie seemed to communicate), that they became stronger, better people by knowing that life isn't cotton candy and mom's couch if your marriage fails. So depending upon who bullied you as a child (and how badly), when is it.."good-natured banter"? Until you DECLARE your affection for another human being with SINCERITY in a tender moment..having the BALLS to do so..how tf fuck would they know that your banter is good-natured..and not just another human being, well trusted..turning out to be a piece of backstabbing shit? Just saying. Lot of SCARRED human beings out there. Why wouldn't you tell them how much you respect them? Why? Insecure, triggerable rejection-fearing you, that's why. So just tell them how you feel, so the good-natured banter can begin. Instead of pretending that you have the right to hide behind "good-natured banter" before you have the balls to say, "I'm so glad I met you, mf'er. I really appreciate you." Everyone's easily triggered these days. We live in a world of wanna-be demons, thieves and dictators. If you feel you're at the point of "good-natured banter" with someone, then just say the good stuff first so you don't unleash someone else's ghosts too. We're all tired of that shit together. And that's the real "alone together", imho. And yea..good natured banter. I'm always in. Just ask around. (Critical defensive nit-picking available upon request..intentional or otherwise.) 201130 ... dafremen P.S. Laura Dern..Laura Dull..Laura Dunn..I think I see what happened there. 201130 ... unhinged but im not very lighthearted at the moment 201201 ... daf You've been the tragic heroine for a long time, do0d. Just hoping you have a happy ending written in somewhere. You're one of the gems I've met in this life, and deserve better for your efforts. I hope the universe makes it all make sense in the end, if it hasn't already. Love always, homie. 201201 ... unhinged im not counting on a happy ending. all evidence points to the contrary. 201201 ... dafremen I will write one for you after you've lost your mind and can no longer write one of your own. Shall I start now? 201202 what's it to you? who go blather from