caseys_essay Casey I'm in the middle of writing an autobiographical essay for Senior English. I hate it, I don't really like writing about myself truthfully. Not to mention it's starting to look more like a book than an essay. Oh well, I'll just continue to write from my gut and go as long as it takes. 011024 ... Casey This is essay, say hi to my essay...all I can say is it had better get me a good grade. IS CHANGE ALWAYS FOR THE BEST? Change, it is always happening, and if we do not adapt we will be left behind and trapped within the world and ourselves. Frank Herbert, the author of the book Dune, says, "Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken." I believe that this quote makes a good point, however, can we always be sure the sleeper will not be cranky when it awakens? Are the changes that affect and ultimately shape our life always good? For me, perhaps the biggest thing that ever changed my life was getting involved in Drama and Speech. Before I became involved in the drama program at Algona High School I was a completely different person. My experiences in acting have altered my life, actions, and emotions so much that I believe it is impossible to ever go back. I used to be a shy kid, I talked to very few people and I never chose to speak up in class or do anything that would draw attention to myself. Now I feel as if I have become a more outspoken person, and I am no longer as afraid to make myself known. Yet, I still find myself contemplating if this change in my life was good or bad. It all started in fifth grade. This was the first year my school district decided to put every kid in a certain grade in one school. Up until then the grades were split into thirds and each third went to a different school. On that warm August morning I remembered walking into Mrs. Klienweber’s classroom and being scared out of my mind. Every single person in this room was foreign to me. Up until now I had always been with the same kids, I knew them and they knew me, or they knew me as mush as I would let them know me. Now I was forced to make new friends and acquaintances, and for some unknown reason, my mind just decided to have me introduce myself to everyone I met. I had never introduced myself to anyone before this point. I still remained a shy kid for the most part, but there is one point of that year that started me on the path I remain on today. It was February, and it was snowing outside. While white fluff piled on the ground outside, my class and I were inside staying moderately warm and working in our Reading book. The next story was a play, something along the lines of a courtroom scene. Mrs. Kleinweber, in her constant chipper way, called on people to come read lines. I naturally put my head down and avoided eye contact so I wouldn’t be called upon. However, my isolated existence did not last long. In one swift sentence , with a huge projected voice, came the words, “Casey, why don’t you read the part of the lawyer.” I grabbed my gold and green reading book and slid back and out of my forest green chair and stood up. The desks are moved into a circle and I go stand up by the east windows. Ahead of me are the faces of my other twenty some class mates. Behind me are lightly frost covered windows. I then proceed to fill my lungs with oxygen and begin to mutter my first line. Then something in me snaps, like as if I had stepped on a fragile twig with the heel of my shoe. I suddenly decided to go all out. I no longer cared about the outcome of my actions. I went into this crazy snobby voice and I did all these actions that fit in with my lawyer character. In the end the entire class was laughing at the tops of their lungs. I breathed a sigh of relief and placed my hand on the cold brick wall. I remember later on some of my peers telling me what I did was funny and enjoyable. I also remember some of my peers telling me I was stupid and did a bad job. It looked as if my new personality had gotten mixed reactions. So I decided to bury this new me and continue on as I have. My teacher had a different idea though. With great fervor she quickly informed my parents of what I had done and how I had formed this “new” me. My parents, being the loving and nurturing people they were, decided to encourage me to get involved in a local acting group call C.C.P., which stands for Countryside Community Playhouse. I humored my parents and I went participated in this group for a few summers. However, I was in middle school at the time so I had very minuscule parts with no speaking lines. Along the way I seemed to unknowingly develop a tolerance to stage fright, and how not to be afraid of audiences. The only thing I really did knowingly learn from my time with C.C.P. was how to project my voice. This new skill has had both a good and a bad outcome. I guess I am now fairly good at talking loudly publicly, however, I now find myself talking loudly without realizing it when I am supposed to be in small quiet groups. I have become a louder person, and that is something I’m not entirely proud of. I did not start becoming a louder person until High School. In Middle School I stayed shy and reserved though out most of those 3 years. They only time that “new” Casey came out was when I was in a class with a teacher I liked and that I knew this person would not care what I did. When my high school career began I did start out in drama right away. My Freshman year was mainly spent looking for other things to do in the area of sports, such as trying out for wrestling for the one and only time. It wasn’t until my Sophomore year that I started getting involved in drama and speech. This was the same year that my current drama coach and teacher Ms. Monson came to A.H.S. I first started out being involved in the play You Can’t Take it With You. In this play I was part of the sound crew, and I ended up doing a very bad job. The only place you can go from the bottom is up, and I hope to think that was what happened. That same year I got involved in Speech Contest, mainly in the areas of Improvisation and poetry reading. Both were very fun for me, and I actually get more nervous doing speech things than doing big drama performances. Up until I did Speech I had completely forgotten what total nervousness was like. I had lost that feeling of what it was like to have butterflies in my stomach and sweat rolling down my face. Many people are nervous before doing something public, but as they get started and work their way into what they are doing, that nervousness is channeled into energy. That’s the way it was for me. Getting nervous while doing Speech Contest then turning that nervousness into energy created a huge rush for me. It opened up new aspects about myself I didn’t know existed. I think I showed a bit of potential, because after this point I was being encouraged to try acting parts. I tried out for the next show, Crazy for You, I got a small part, so I took up a job as the publicist for the group. I wasn’t down because I had gotten a small part, that was what I wanted. I just kept on working at it and developing my abilities. The change in myself didn’t just come from my time on stage. A main part of it was due to the time I spent backstage as well. I began to interact with more people more and more every year. I think the people I fit the best with were Bobby Evers, with a wild and crazy personality to match his wild and crazy hair, Erik Johnson, my neighbor and long time buddy, and Russ Penning, the kindest and most understanding ladies man I’ve ever met. We interacted with each other constantly. We grew and learned new things every day. The main thing we learned was that we shouldn’t care what other people think about us, we should do what makes us happy. Have I been happier? I can’t answer that with a yes or a no. Life has it’s ups and downs. I can say I’ve never reached the point where I have been truly one-hundred percent happy. Instead I seem to switch between happy periods and sad periods. My Junior year is a big testament to that, every day I was in a different mood. By my Junior and Senior year I had changed from this shy kid to a louder teenager who no longer cared what people thought. In some ways it has been good, to some people I could be a more enjoyable person. In other ways it has not been the best. Because I no longer cared as much about what other people thought about me, I acted out more, and sometimes got in trouble for it. Other bad things that have resulted from me changing is the fact that to other people. For instance, I have probably become more annoying. Many of the people who I have either met or never even known in High School may now enjoy the new me. My emotions also show more. Years ago I never showed my emotions, no one knew if I was happy, angry, or sad. Now I tell and show people how I feel, slightly melodramatic in a way I guess. This sometimes seems to bother my friends and acquaintances, especially when I act more negative than positive. In the end the changes Drama and Speech have made in my life and both good and bad, but that is the way it is with every change that happens in the world. There is always a good and a bad outcome, a yin and a yang. I am no longer as shy as I once was, but I have also been subjected more to my emotions and feelings, whether they are good or bad. I guess my only option now is to struggle to stay the course and hope for the best. 011024 ... Dafremen Good lord that was long! AND you quoted Frank Herbert up front before I could get too tired of reading and miss it. I love it, I give it an A+ for the above stated reasons and I'll finish reading it when I'm not so Hi, essay..nice to meet you, I'm dafremen, but you can call me daf or lord high roger dafremen if you like. (see also: UNLOVABLE) 011024 ... silentbob i enjoyed every word, it flowed really well all the way to the end. I also give it an A+. what did your teacher give you? 011025 ... niki sounds like my life! good paper 011025 ... Casey It's due tomorrow, so I wont know till monday...oh sigh...if only Silentbob was an english teacher 011025 ... Casey I got a 48/50, damn those mechanics. 011102 what's it to you? who go blather from