just_a_friend
grendel the phrase that hangs like a millstone around my neck, sometimes followed, sometimes preceded by some praise, some compliment about how nice i am and how sweet i am or some such nonsense

it must not be true
because if i was ever any of these things then i suppose by now that someone would be kind enough to prove it true

but no one ever has

and i reside here in this pigieonhole, this oubliette

trapped between the memory of outrageous exploits on one hand and unrequited innocence on the other

like a perverse parody of Saint Sebastian, pincushioned ...not by the arrows of martyr-makers, but by cupid's venomous darts

no beatific glance to heaven, just the dejected gaze at the soil beneath me

the_persistence_of_memory
001123
...
splinken oh ba-by YOU...got what i nee-eed....but you say he's just a friend, but you say he's just a friend.... 001123
...
chanaka he's just a friend he's just a friend he's just a friend he's just a friend
breathe
repeat
why doesn't my mantra ever work?
001123
...
silentbob this
is
necessary
this
is
necessary
life
feeds on
life
feed on
this is necessary
What? Um...I'm sorry...
I don't really think of you that way. i think you're cool and everything, you're a sweet guy. Sure, you're funny. Yeah, you're cute...but...just not that way.
Here, give me a hug! You're so cute! Well, Gee, i gotta run, enjoy your lonliness, i need to go and fuck my boyfriend now. Later, gator.
001123
...
blown cherry Yes I'd seen more of him lately,
but I'd been seeing more of a few people I hadn't caught up with for a while.
Yes we were getting along well,
but we always had, hadn't we?
Yes I think he's attractive and well dressed,
but I had always thought that.
Yes I think he's funny,
but only on a regular level.
Yes he's always been affectionate,
so is this any more affectionate than usual?

He was asking after one of my friends, so surely...?

I was so tired sitting on that chair,
he offered a friendly shoulder for my head.
He moved his arm so it would be more comfortable, so I curled my head up on his stomach. Hundreds of people around.
But it's okay, because we're friends...?

Later on, the group now growing weary, we squish on to a lounge.
We all fit better if the end people turn sideways.
So there we are, comfortably spooned.
Me wrapped up in his arms.
I lay my head back, with thoughts of a 'power nap' in my mind.
He rests his head on mine.
It's nice, human contact,
and I'm sooooooo sleepy.
He shifts a bit.
Now I can feel the tip of his nose on my ear.
Mildly disconcerted, I move my head away.
He re-adjusts.
Now I can feel his breath gently on my neck.
Uh oh.
"I have to go to the toilet, I should be back in like, half and hour"

First signs of panic.
I search about and find my FEMALE friend.
"What's with you and xxxxx?"
"Huh?"
"Yeah, his hands were very close to breast area"
Uh oh. Oh no.
I had foolishly been hoping that was merely an accident, and he hadn't realised just how far his fingers had been reaching,
just those three of four times that week.

He's not just being noraml-affectionate,
is he?

Oh no.
And I think my reciprocal affection would quite likely be classified under the "leading-him-on" heading.
Crap.

He's so nice, and cute too.
But I don't think I could ever be attracted to him like that, current psychosis aside.

But so lonely.
No guarantee of human contact makes me weak.
The cuddle was so welcome.
But that is the limit of welcome physical contact.


Ohhhh, what have I done...?
020608
...
pralines&cream my best friend.
just a friend.
just my best male friend.
just my attractive male friend.
just my friend who likes me.
just my best friend.
but more.
020608
...
CJ exactly how many people has this sort of thing happened to?? 020608
...
ilovepatsajak maybe it started when he stopped reading at blather or maybe it was that one time i didn't call back or maybe when he stopped singing or songs or maybe when he put off sending out those notes. when did more than friends stop? i mean it's ok though, you're call, man. cuz i'm just the chameleon. 020609
...
blown cherry He messaged me about that other friend of mine again.
I suppose I am to be relieved,
I guess generally I am,
but a part of me wonders if she is not simply a pawn,
since there is no other reason for him to contact me,
and no precedent for any contact without reason.
020610
...
jevad
only a friend

[][]


and i can't deal with only that part of you

[][]


you'd be so good for me

[][]


and i'd be good for you
020815
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girl_jane That's what he'll be. 020815
...
eddie monster okay 020815
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lycanthrope oh...i'm glad it's not that easy 020816
...
spoons i know....*sigh* 020816
...
Kate You call me, as you promised, and we realize we've missed seeing "Amelie" at the Cedar Lee by one day. You ask me about my race, which went well, and you are excited about living the good life. No, not the "shaking booty making sweet love all the night" good life, the good life of "pursuing the good, just, beautiful, and true both in your conduct and in your thought". You are so wonderfully enlightened, alive, and interesting. So you'll pick me up at 7:30 to go see "Signs" instead?

And the wonderful thing is, you are just a friend.
020816
...
D y a n n e Hes just a friend...So why do I continue to go see movies with you and drive around when I know you still really like me and I keep telling you we are just friends but you seem to keep asking for more I must stay strong I cant go back to how it was we have to stay just friends 020817
...
jane you
you got what i need
and you say..

aw, nevermind.
021006
...
bethany OH BABAY YOU
YOU
GOT
WHAT I NEEEEEEEEEDDDDD
021006
...
information bethany, scroll up. 021007
...
information TWICE! 021007
...
information it was said twice.
now it's been said three times.

thanks, we really needed that
(and this, too).
021007
...
bizmarky have you ever met a girl that you tried to date, but a YEAR to make love, she wanted you to wait. Let me tell you a story bout my situation, i was talkin to this girl from the U.S nation. The way that i met her was at tour at a concert, she had long hair and a short mini skirt. I just got off stage i performed with sweat, i walked through the crowd and guess who i met? I whispered in her ear come to the picture booth, so i could ask you some questions, see if you're hundred proof. i asked her her name she said blah blah blah. she had nine ten pants and a very big bra. i took a couple of flicks and she was enthused. i said how'd you like the show, she said she was very amused. i started throwin a bit, she started throwin back midrange, but when i sprung the question she acted kinda strange. then when i asked do you have a man, she tried to pretend no i don't, i only have a friend. pleeease...i'm not even goin for that.

oh baby you, you got what i need. but you say he's just a friend. but you say he's just a friend. oooohhh babbbbay. youuu got what i need. but you say he's just a friend.

so i took blah blah blah's word for it at this time. i thought just having a friend couldn't be no crime. because i have friends and that's a fact. like agnes, agatha, jermaine and jack. forget about them, let's get into the story, about a girl named blah blah blah that adored me. so we started talking gettin familiar, spending lots of time so we could build a relationship or some understandin how it's gonna be in the future we was planning. everything sounded so dandy and sweet. i had no idea i was in for a treat. after this was established everything was cool. the tour was over and she went back to school. i called her everyday to see how she was doing, everytime i called her it seems something was brewing. i called her room, a guy picked up, then i called again. who was that? "oh he's just a friend." don't give me that, don't even give me that.

oh you you got what i need. oh babbbay you, you got what i need. but you say he's just a friend, but you say he's just a friend.

so i came to her college on a surprise visit, to see my girl that was so exquisite. it was a school day, i knew she was there, first semester of the school year. i went to her gate to ask where was her dorm. this guy made me fill out a visitor's form. he told me where it was and i was on my way to see my baby doll i was happy to say. i arrived in front of the dormitory, yo coulda tell me where's door three? they showed me where it was, for the moment, i didn't know i was in for such an event. i came to her room and opened the door. oh snap, guess what i saw? a fellow tongue kissing my girl in the mouth. i was so in shock, my heart went down south. so please listen to the message that i send. don't ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend.

oh baby you you've got what i need, but you say he's just a friend, but i know he' s not a friend. oh baby youuuuu you've got what i need, but you say he's just a friend, but you say he's just a friend. ohh babbby you, you've got what i need.
021007
...
stork daddy the quintessential song of male angst. 021007
...
jane i thought it was bizmarkie 021007
...
hahaha muhahahahahaha
jane, it is! the person fucked up.
021007
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bethany OH BABAY YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
YOU GOT WHAT I NEEEEDDDD
but you say i'm just a friend

HOWS FOUR FOR YA

PUNK
021010
...
x i vaguely miss when we used to sing this at the top of our lungs, much to the chagrin of our neighbors, too meek to say anything 030817
...
oldephebe Bismarki (sp)
that comedic and yet somehow really entertaining MC

haha "x" that was funny
030817
...
chica how many times have i heard that evil phrase 040304
...
.. .. 090114
...
In_Bloom It's precious
So many won't ever know it
090114
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from