ghost363_me Ghost363 hi, i plan to use this page as a diary, or sumthin, when ime bord. if u come across this, i am 15 ,male and from birmingham UK. if you could help me with a problem plz do. If you just see this page, you could walk on by, or you could veiw my life. i dont mind but i feel that i need to tell someone 020729 ... ghost363 so, world, how are you? who am i you ask? i will use the alias "ghost" (363 cos there r probably a million ghosts) b4 you say anything about spelling, if i do spell somthing wrong it dont matter, as long as you can read it. anywya, I - am a boy at the age of 15, i live in the UK, birmingham, and i lie about things that i have done. i will be totaly honest, i have only ever kissed 1 girl, this was in a game of spin the bottel, i say i have kissed another on holliday but i have not, there was a girl but nothing happend. i dont know why but i seem to have an inability to pull. i am not deformed or anything, and i flirt alot more than some ppl i know that can still pull. i am 15, OMG. 020729 ... ghost363 if ur close frind dated sum1 and u fancy them, could u ask em out??? 020729 ... ghost363 i fancy my friends girl freind, and i think she .. i think i hafto wait. a freind should be more important then a girl, or should they? what if you are as sad as me, does that make a diffrence? i dont think ime that sad, i go out, i have frinds i have fun. but i do think that i was sad. i usto sit in the it room at lunchtimes doing art with another sad friend (who i think is still sad but hes ok) i dident go out, i dident go to town on weekends, infact, looking back, i dont know what i did with my weekends. its the holidays now, the summer. i think this is meant to be the best summer of my life. yr 10 to yr 11. 020729 ... grendel best thing to do here is to say stuff off the top of your head, what you are thinking. don't be too surprised or offended if not everything you say gets an answer... this isn't quite a message board and most of us here don't really like turning it into one, though we admit it cannot always be helped. take a look around, press the "go" button down at the bottom and read stuff, take a little time to get to know this crazy blue place you have just found. welcome to blather, kid. 020729 ... ghost363 does anybody hear me??? 020808 ... ghost363 sory grendel, i am happy that sombody has read these pages 020808 ... ghost363 ppl like grendel only found out about this page grom the "who" link, so maby now tha i have blatherd again ppl will see me and respond again, plz help me. 020808 ... ghost363 it a fuked up life, this holliday, this summer, it is meant to b the best of my life!, meant to b constant partyz. dont get me wrong, i have had fun, ive gon out been places, but it aint like i expected its like, i have been workin, and helping my mom, and waisting too many weeks prepairing for ppl that come round and stay for the weekend n stuff like that or doin jobs that no1 will notice like weeding n stuff, Whats more, i htink my freinds r pushing me away, they dont call me, if they r all goin sumwhere, i hafto ask them what they r doing, they dont ask me. thats a bit anoying, and i dont know y its happening. THAT ^^^^^ whas me feeling sory for myself, This is me not. ill fone em every day i have nothing 2 do 2moro, ill fone sum1 now 020820 ... rosemary don't worry, get happy. :) 020820 ... ghost363 yeah, ur rite, GET HAPPY. thats a good 1, have i said all that stuff about how smileing helps ur mood? fk knows, but it does, its that smile theropy thing offa ally Mcbeel. GET HAPPY yeah i bought a car 2day, with my dad, at an auction. it was pritty cool. and b4 that i went out with my freinds to the cinima, and saw sum of all fears. i organized it again.!! no1 does anythin unless i organize, or they dont invite me anyway! anyway, GET HAPPY. yeah thats good! 020822 ... Ghost363 2day i sat on the bus on the way home. i sat in my usual group of ppl on the bus, n i normaly talk to them but 2day i stuck a headfone in my ear, tunrd the music off, looked blankly at the roof whilst sloutching down and listend to everyone talking. only one person tryed to talk to me. or cheer me up at least by reminding me of the weekend using a frase. the whole time, i was listening to a girl trying to pull her ex that has now been taken. it was intresting to see who tryed to talk to me. and who totaly ignord me. and it was intresting listening to what my freind and his ex were saying to eachother. i dont think ill forget that. not in a long time. the fact that to the ppl there, i dont count. i dident count. i dident think that i hadto activly try that hard to get into a convo with my freinds. i think i would speek to some1 that was doing what i was doing, staring into space, id talk to them. 020917 ... grendel the world, full of its own comings and goings. 020918 ... Ghost363 seems like ages sinse i last blathed. yeasterday there was a party. sum1s 16th. it was a good party. the week b4 it was my 16th. n it was a pritty shit doo. we went to town. went ice skating, saw a film n then went home. this sat, ppl met up, n desided to by smernoff insead of go to the cinima. then we met a whole load of ppl in town n asked them to come back to a party that was going to take place. so even tho the party holder dident know them he invited em back. n dident take the trouble of getting to know them. anyway, i got stoned for the 1st time. n it was good at first, but then i started to through up becouse i "whitied". aparently i was gona throw up, but i dident feel too sick. sure enough, half an hour l8r i was throing up. getting stoned meant that i wernt gona pull. who would wana kiss a guy who had been puking. anyway, in the end i got off with the school bike. but the girls that we met in town (1 of which i realy fancied the pants off, got off with sum1 else. he then esked me what her name was. i felt gutted. i aint the best looking guy in the world, but i deserve somthing. ime never gona get that stoned again. it fuckes up my chanese of pulling by allot, its off my things 2do list now. at least i can say ive dun it. i also niticed that my freind had a good life. a very good life indeed. maby he works very hard and dont show it, or maby things come to hime easy. all i know is its better than me. looking at the diffrence between my 16th n his 16th, it makes me wonder. for now, i htink ill hafto keep on goin. ill see what happens between now n ... whenever. lets hope good things happen. lets say yeasterday was a step in the right direction. i have done another thing. and hopfully i will do many other things 2 come. 021006 ... Ghost363 another thing that happend yesterday. i was lying ther, stoned, and was talking to this girl that i fancid who just made out with my m8. (i was feeling gutted) we stopped talking for a sec, n then i started talking again, i herd a sigh from my m8. n then i looked up the bank n saw that he was just about to get off with her again n i had interupted them. i then said sory, turnd round n thought about what just happend. they then made out. even more gutted. just rememberd that. i can still feel what it felt like. 021007 ... Ghost363 “Richard is able to assume a variety of different roles and personas” how far do you agree with this? Introduction – I agree with this statement completely. Richard in the play “Richard III”, Richard is able to went tot the cinema yesterday my m8 was ther with his gf, the 1 i like, the 1 at the prty. n they were together thru the film, n it really made me feel bad. i relies that i am really jealous. really, badly jealous. he has everything i want. or at least thats what is seems like. infact, i cant think of one thing he wanted and hasent got. maybe he dont show what he really wants. but i would gladly trade places with him based on what he appears to have. its a sin isnt it? jealousy. its bad 4 u. sitting in that cinema. i wished i had some1 to snuggle up to. even if it was just a friend. just, sum1 to hold, to lean on and to lean on me. i i think i have so much to give. i do. i have allot to give. dont people see that? dont ppl know it. does he have more? thinking about it he does. he has everything i want, .'. he must have everything others want. he has much more to give. but i can still give. its not fair. yer it is. its fair enuf. he gets the bird, cos the bird likes him. she dont like me. well, she smiles at me n stuff, but its out of the question now, cos hes bin with her, n thats that.. well, in then end, what am i going to do about it? weep. sob about it at home all day? NO. or at least thats what i aint meant to do. how did he get her? threw a party, met new ppl thru ppl he knew. thats what i need to do. no, thats what i will do. or atleast try. its gota happen sometime. 021013 ... Ghost363 let the time b asap 021013 ... Ghost363 oop, accidently paistid part of my eng sa in. lol now, if u know me, its quite bloody obvious. if i have talked about you, plz, take no ofence. u r a large part of my life at the moment. and thats y ur in this. you can help me, or you can take the piss compleatly. its up 2 u 021013 ... Ghost363 ... he is so lucky. he got hed of her. i found out 2day that he has been askin around for sum1 to go on a date with me. and no1 has said yes. NO 1. for fucks sake. NO 1. and then he asked ppl to aske ther friends. he said most just dident answer. the school bike asked me for a kis. n said no, realy loud. it was quite funny. i felt good about that. cos my freind had been lecturing me about it in geo earlyer when he found out that i got off with her the wk b4. 021014 ... Ghost363 i have decided to keep my diary on my comp rather than on the net. it usto b on the comp b4. anyway i aint gona post very much on this site. se cya! 021020 ... tourist Hey Spook! Don't go away, this is a cool place really. An International community of sorts. It's rough bein' young, chances are that these Birds are young too, am I Right? They are still trying to find themselves also. Hell Man I didn't get Laid till I was Eighteen or Nineteen, And didn't really Fall in Love for Years after that. Take some time to Live and don't Kick yer self in the ass for your failures! That's Bullshit man! The truth is that everyone is full of Self doubt. Some just hide it better than others. Try to accept yourself for what you are, Life is full of suprises, and One Never Knows what One will be called on to do. The simplest Kindnesses given may open Doors to life changing freindships. Gallantry still charms the Ladies, so be willing to go the extra mile to assist the fair Damsels, without regard of reward. Nuff Said. Bounce around here, read , comment , Insult , Praise . We're a resiliant lot, Angels to Assholes, just like the rest of Humanity. 021021 ... ~gez~ "The truth is that everyone is full of Self doubt. Some just hide it better than others" thats one of the most true things i have heard in a long time, thanks tourist. quality advice/info 021021 what's it to you? who go blather from