there_was_definitely_something_there *_the missing link_* she was a painter. she is dead now, and i wonder...... did her eyes see the things i do when i write? funny, i didn't think her so insightful while she shuffled about my kitchen at thanksgiving but when i look at her paintings i wonder..... because they dig deeply into the meadows of loneliness the long winding roads of suicide the avenues of desperation and the trees of eagerness her paintings show that she cared so i know that she cared i know that she did but now she's dead. 020113 ... silent storm ...the last time we spoke. I saw saddness in her eyes. And a part of me wanted to reach out to her. 020123 ... Mahayana theres_always_something_there between us within us connecting us there_was_definitely_something_there that night on the phone... you felt it - i felt it but neither spoke of it theres_always_something_there and that night... there_was_definitely_something_there 020123 ... unhinged the phenomenon of perception is a crazy thing and it drives me insane at times because all i know for sure is how things look to me and once upon a time there_was_definitely_something_there through my blind jaded eyes but things have a way of shifting out of focus after four jack 'n' cokes and all i can see is his hands playing ode to joy on the guitar his beer glass continuely full empty full empty full empty "well we have to disagree on something" and the circle of my life went round again the years kept going by 020123 ... daxle I looked in his eyes and he looked in mine he didn't have anything left to do but he stayed to talk to me I wonder if he gravitates because I pull him to me, or he actually feels something too "but then a strange fear gripped me, and I just couldn't ask" 020123 ... ClairE It just took me my whole adolescence to realize it. I still feel pretentious saying I_like_girls. 020124 ... devalis the first time our eyes met there_was_definitely_something_there sparks flew from me to you it had to be fate the last time our eyes met there_was_definitely_something_there my fire blazed your blue eyes hazed it had to be hate. 020920 ... devalis now that our eyes don't meet there is definitely something there it's not fair that I don't care can't fix things too late. 020920 ... silentbob i wouldn't know what to do with a second chance if you gave it to me 020921 ... oak barrel After everything I went through with you, it would really suck for you to hate me or just be mad at me forever. I really did love you. I truly did with all my heart and I regret telling you for the first time the way I told you, I didn't mean to and by the time I realised it, it had already come out. I wanted to wait and tell you at the most romantic time.... but it was too late.... I think you had a hard time believing me for a long time. I don't blame you either, I sure as hell would've had a hard believing you. I honestly and truly did love you. it's the truth because I don't love you like that anymore. and I have no reason to lie. they say retrospect is 20/20. There was definately something there 020922 ... ClairE i. Go through years of pages, individual letters, screen seen through tears, when I begged the question you always refused but there was something there— a red balloon bobbing in the sky, I never could get close enough to touch but you were constant, the string wrapped around my hand and now I'm wondering, is it my fault you're starting to deflate? ii. When I was small, we'd go to the Jersey_shore and I'd stand on the gray_brown beach and look at kites, flying over the sea. And once a kite went sailing away to the horizon. I was so small the sky was like a wall to me, it was pulling out of the driveway in the back_seat, not knowing how to get home. My mom and Alicia laughed, and one of them said, "It's going to China!" That was the beginning of farther_than_I_could_see. Nothing was as far_away as that horizon. Maybe all these years later I am still squinting across the Atlantic, little_girl tummy in a bathing_suit, trying to see to you, trying to see all the way around the world. 031016 ... brain stew lovely stuff on this page. *applauds everyone* 031017 ... Spare Change There is definately something between us, it's true. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes I need you. There is something there, much to my dismay. There is something, sometimes, but what I can't say. There is something there that we can't define, and we didn't build it because we never had time. There is something between us though I'm not quite sure what, not compassion, not understanding and most definately not love. There is something there I know you have felt it, because sometimes you reach out for my hand to grip. And sometimes, not often, we're just what we need, victim's to something that neither can see. Sometimes, too often, I long for your touch, and you have confessed you want me too much. There's something unnamed, unseen, and unsure, and that something, too often, is hard to endure. There's something, it's hard to admit, but it's true. Sometimes, too often, I feel something for you. 031017 ... nomatter it should be so easy 031017 ... Lover of Lint There_was_definitely_something_there I knew it right away, I could feel it, I sensed it.It was something calm,comforting,quiet,natural,correct Exchanged between us without words,Definitely something loving,inherited,gentle,instant We didn't feel the need for a floow-up plan or any urgency to even know the other's real names,we both found fate to be an automatic awe-maker Inncocently assuming it would bring us back to each other from destinations unknown Still, he's compelled to write love sonmgs about a silhouette girl He doesn't know exactly why he writes these songs of love Maybe he hasn't let himself feel the impact of that night, of us with souls connected and hearts entwinded,the imact that there_was_definitely_something_there 040523 ... witchesrequiem But was dating your friend! 040524 ... x oh that boy. so charming. but so bad in bed. 040524 ... BHN3 mopem è âû èíòåðåñóåòå ïî÷åìó ÿ íå âåðþ âàì 040525 ... BHN3 mopem Iy vi interesuete pochemu ya nye veryo vam 040525 ... silentbob i amend everything i ever said with this sigh 040525 ... minnesota_chris fsyegda grusno 040525 ... BHN3 MOPEM ya nye panyimayu, "fsyegda" na angliyeskom yazike, pazhalusta 040525 ... Syrope you've never had this quality to your voice before this is so far from something i would ever consider pursuing that it almost makes me want to almost 040526 ... unhinged friendship the crutch that holds us up between us innumerable bad relationships clung to no i don't want to marry you but i love you just the same cause i'd rather sit, stand, lay next to you knowing that my love would never change by stomping, tearing, ripping like it always does friendship the crutch that holds both of us up love an unspoken glance there aren't many people in the world that i can have wordless_conversations with and i am beginning to recognize the value of that i miss the way we held each other up even if it wasn't always healthy but i'm hoping you understand how i feel a little better now and i understand why you wouldn't talk to me i just want you to be happy baby and i would do anything for that smile that doesn't mean i want to marry you though our love is too fragile for that like the little glass bird you keep on the window sill out of reach of childish hands accidentally smashed but broken beyond repair nonetheless not many people understand the meaning in my hugs understanding is a hard thing to come by and i am beginning to recognize the value in that friendship the crutch that holds both of us finally, possibly_maybe we both understand the value in what we have together don't misunderstand me i love you more than physical and religious unions could ever allow the strings that connect us more solid and invisible than any of that i'd fly hundreds of miles just to see you smile this love a many faceted thing that i couldn't bear to see accidentally smashed by creating something everyone else thinks to be more intimate private thoughts i could never share except in wordless_conversations we understand each other on unspoken levels that i couldn't bear to see smashed by unneeded commitment the look on your face was more than enough friendship the crutch that holds both of us up 040526 ... minnesota_chris always sad studied B.S. but learned Russian 040526 ... stolichnaya headache "fsyegda" is heavy ok, but what's fsyegda 040526 ... minnesota_chris do you speak Russian? Tyezhelo is heavy. 040526 ... stolichnaya hangover just a few scraps of the language i've picked up here and there 040526 ... oh well "there was definitely something there" i guess it depends on the the particulars of the "something" and the location of the "there" 040526 what's it to you? who go blather from