it_ended_with daxle the realization that I am forever broken 001218 ... sabbie a scream 010225 ... morelen ...you 010225 ... birdmad a letter in my mailbox the damnation of faint praise and the silent tears i shed to the solace of an mpty room (so long ago already) 010225 ... grendel a brief and tenuous embrace before she walked out the door and hit the road back to the place she came from and i spite of what was said i doubt she will return 010225 ... Alexander Beetle a musical number 010501 ... kx21 Nothing... Something... Anything... Everything... 010501 ... NinNy Nu Nu ended is a drifting word, change the onward flow, to a meaningful glance. 010518 ... sykoze there is no ending - things just continue on and on and with no end in sight. The danger must be growing because the rowers keep on rowing and they're certainly not showing any signs that they are slowing 010902 ... MollyCule I've decided that this is over now. It ends my way. It's becoming more and more obvious to me anyway as the days pass and we don't speak, that you never cared about me to begin with. So, in the future, when people ask you why, tell them it ended with a kiss that never even happened. And then change the subject, because you won't be caught dead speaking of me anyway. 010902 ... Caseys A hug and a tear 010902 ... lovers lament months of not speaking. of feeling alone, shadowed in your hatred of me. it ended with broken promises, broken souls, broken everything. and even still i wish it could all go back to normal...just for a day. even if it were only to end the same way. 011005 ... distorted tendencies Your ragged breathing, the sound of your release. 011006 ... MollyCule you know, Amber, I keep reading about how much I hate you. Don't assume things we've never even spoken about. Hatred is a bit too strong of an emotion to waste on someone I don't actually hate. 011007 ... starved with the realization that i have no business falling in love, because i'm just not worth it 011007 ... lovers lament not that you actually hated me molly. just that it felt that way. you were a very cold person to me, which you explained, i just can't forget. i'm not trying to say that i hold it against you, although i'm sure there are things that you hold against me. deservingly. heard you moved in with holleee. (saw paul the other day) hope things are going well with that. 011009 ... daxle hardly anything 020120 ... gwyllynne a sound left unheard it_began_with 020121 ... Mahayana [love's tears in my hands] 020121 ... ClairE the sound of my own voice trying to cover up the emptiness. 020122 ... Mahayana ¿[healing]? 020314 ... Mahayana [{embarrassment through a wrongdoing}] 020318 ... blown cherry it's not over yet. I still have to decide where I'm going. I'll let you know when I get there. 020319 ... Mahayana [thoughts that shed never *not* talk to the likes of me] it_ended_with [thoughts that Id never not talk to the likes of her] it_ended_with [thoughts that wed never want to stop talking to the likes of eachother- the likes of us] it_ended_without_ever_having_to_end 020322 ... yummyC it ended with a shiver and my messy ambivalence finally being silenced. 020322 ... jewish negro i gave it de old shtuts, oy but i did. 020413 ... Syrope uncertainty...and the feeling still plagues me. what happened, anyway? every day i see things that remind me of you, yet you've proved to me that after three years I can finally realize that I don't mean as much to you as you do to me. I've never been able to grasp that before. It doesn't mean I'm going to change how I feel about you. You promised you'd come home and see me. I'll wait forever. There's no way to know what you feel, because it's never you on AIM any more, it's always your roommate. I idolized you, and all you handed me was a halfhearted attempt at good bye. I tried to give you everything...a garter that should have gone to my date :) a dance with you to the "our song" of another guy...Our relationship ended with Prom of 00, and no one still understands the bond that was between us - absence of sexuality, quintessence of sensuality and love. Prom 02 is almost here...I'm graduating...do you care? 020414 ... Mahayana summer 020611 ... little fury bug a click as you hung up the phone after saying goodnight and goodbye. 020618 ... Mahayana [a sold house] 020629 ... god laced_tamales, scotch_and_halidol 020630 ... misstree i stared at the computer, trying not to make assumptions, trying not to be hysterical, trying not to read everything into nothing. we chatted as we had many a morning after shenannigans. "she and i sat up for six hours after you went to sleep, talking." i knew this. i had gotten up when he came to sleep at 10 am. my blood was cold and boiling, thinking of her holding his hand all night during the cemetary runs, her well-played attempts to get me into bed, which meant getting him in the deal. "we figured out that, if you weren't around and weren't so cool, we'd probably date," he said with true innocence. all my beautiful self-control went out the window. "don't you remember, last time she was in town, i specifically asked you not to let her flirt with you anymore?" my voice was high but not shrill, hysterics now in control. "all night, all fucking night, you were glued to her, you didn't even notice me. she held your hand from the moment we hit the woods, through the graveyard, and back out." "but she had a ghost phobia." "there were two other guys there, she could have clung to them." "but she was holding *my* hand." "you could have taken it back." "i did, she took it again." "three fucking words. 'kari, stop it.' when guys hit on me at work, i tell them to stop." silence. "i didn't even realize..." it is not the end. i am full of hate and betrayal and doubt, and more than anything else i want to give this little girl the mother bear treatment, brutalize her for her attempts to befriend me while she stole my boyfriend. but i can't. it needs to end with him. he needs to tell her not to touch him, not to flirt with him, that it all needs to end. once that has been said, my own ultimatums, involving the banning of handshakes and promises of bloody messes where faces once were, can be put forth. but it has to end with him. or i will be cold and alone again. if i'm not already. 020630 ... Mahayana detachment in voice lost lingering words never said 020701 ... jane a pathetic phone call you're such a drunk asshole but i can't stop feeling attached to you 020701 ... unhinged me still trying to convince myself that it was over 021110 ... werewolf me wishing our paths home were not two but one. 021110 ... bethany your eyebrows are growing out, love 021110 ... jane "i'd like you to stay, but it's your decision" [how do you like them apples?] 021113 ... ClairE A bag of laundry, a goodbye, and a closed door. 030909 ... notme the_big_bang 030909 ... Mahayana [an enhanced gift] 030910 ... TROUBLESUM climax 051122 ... delial nothing. no bang. no whimper. no nothing. has it even ended? and what is the "it" that would be ending, anyway? to tell you the truth, i never knew what was going on. where are you? what are you running from this time? if you're going to throw this away, at least make up a goodbye. 051123 ... nom fin 051123 ... :nbsp; what i know does not prevent me from stifling a giggle 060901 ... Pto A new beginning. 060901 ... to :nbsp; perhaps what you know is meant to make you laugh, unstifled? 060901 ... cacau cacau sertosanosfhjhjhjhjirialosa 110515 what's it to you? who go blather from