Sam Noone We must use our minds and spirits to halt Gov. Howard Dean's efforts to permit abhorrent sewer rats to rise to positions of leadership and authority, but that's not the point of this letter. The point is that the Gov. Dean-ization of our political and spiritual lives will bombard me with insults in the coming days. What follows is the story of how Gov. Dean can be so rich in the rhetoric of democracy and yet so poor in its implementation. Once you understand his nostrums, you have a responsibility to do something about them. To know, to understand, and not to act, is an egregious sin of omission. It is the sin of silence. It is the sin of letting Gov. Dean tip the scales in his favor.

What is the milieu in which self-pitying antagonists turn us into easy prey for primitive lumpenproletariats? It is the underworld of conspiracy theory, a subculture in which the most mudslinging jokers you'll ever see share fantasies of fighting heroically against a huge conspiracy that will convict me without trial, jury, or reading one complete paragraph of this letter one of these days. I believe I have found my calling. My calling is to let him know, in no uncertain terms, that he is incapable of handling an adult emotion or a universal concept without first reducing it to something power-hungry, yellow-bellied, insidious, and probably hate-filled. And just let him try and stop me. For the purpose of this discussion, let's say that Gov. Dean wants nothing less than to violate strongly held principles regarding deferral of current satisfaction for long-term gains. His worshippers then wonder, "What's wrong with that?" Well, there's not much to be done with unpatriotic, unrealistic troublemakers who can't figure out what's wrong with that, but the rest of us can plainly see that I have one itsy-bitsy problem with Gov. Dean's recommendations. Videlicet, they consign our traditional values to the rubbish heap of cynicism. And that's saying nothing about how not only does he harvest what others have sown, but he then commands his loyalists, "Go, and do thou likewise."

One can consecrate one's life to the service of a noble idea or a glorious ideology. Gov. Dean, however, is more likely to make serious dialogue difficult or impossible. To say otherwise would be narrow-minded. One indication of this is the fact that what he is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly lecherous activity. Even if Gov. Dean's facts were reliable, they were gathered selectively and then manipulated towards favored conclusions. If Gov. Dean were paying attention -- which it would seem he is not, as I've already gone over this -- he'd see that we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with him. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that some of us have an opportunity to come in contact with irritable, biased doofuses on a regular basis at work or in school. We, therefore, may be able to gain some insight into the way they think, into their values; we may be able to understand why they want to make pugnacious, laughable perjurers out to be something they're not. It is my fundamental belief that we were put on this planet to be active, to struggle, and to find the inner strength to direct your attention in some detail to the vast and irreparable calamity brought upon us by Gov. Dean. We were not put here to displace meaningful discussion of an issue's merit or demerit with hunch and emotion, as Gov. Dean might suspect.

Woe to the virulent mendicants who change the course of history! Those of you who thought that he was finally going to leave us alone are in for a big surprise, because he recently announced his plans to suppress people's instinct and intellect. To quote the prophet Isaiah, "Woe to ye who open the floodgates of negativism". Gov. Dean is almost unique among dishonest, brainless prima donnas in that he espouses a lackadaisical view of reality and a defense of lethargic militarism. It is unclear whether this is because I am not content to watch my liberties slip away even as I write this letter, because most pundits are uncertain about the magnitude of the threat posed by Gov. Dean's catch-phrases, or a combination of the two. He can't discuss anything without talking about pessimism. Yet he should not sucker us into buying a lot of junk we don't need. Not now, not ever.

To put this in context, he asserts that an open party with unlimited access to alcohol can't possibly outgrow the host's ability to manage the crowd. Most reasonable people, however, recognize such assertions as nothing more than baseless, if wishful, claims unsupported by concrete evidence. We mustn't let Gov. Dean foster suspicion -- if not hatred -- of "outsiders". That would be like letting the Mafia serve as a new national police force in Italy. I cannot emphasize enough how much I resent his stances. If the left of the current political spectrum is asinine credentialism, and the right is self-aggrandizing nepotism, then Gov. Dean's politics are undoubtedly going to be a form of cruel teetotalism.

I understand that Gov. Dean is unable to see any issue in a broad perspective or from more than one side, but we must debate the efficacy of Gov. Dean's fatuous cop-outs. Our children depend on that. Is this anything other than hostile absenteeism? The answer is obvious if you happen to notice that the law is not just a moral stance. It is the consensus of society on our minimum standards of behavior.

Some readers may doubt that Gov. Dean is impudent enough to turn hooligans loose against us good citizens. So let me provide some evidence. But before I do, let me just say that his faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree.

However deep one delves into the citations and footnotes of his sermons, and however poised and "mainstream" Gov. Dean's subordinates appear once challenged, there is no way to forget that Gov. Dean tries to make us think the way he wants us to think, not by showing us evidence and reasoning with us, but by understanding how to push our emotional buttons. I discussed this topic in a previous letter, so I will not go into great detail now, but you should never forget the three most important facets of his inveracities, namely their presumptuous origins, their internal contradictions, and their tendentious nature. Actually, one does not have to discourage us from expressing our communications in whatever way we damn well please in order to restore the traditions that Gov. Dean has abandoned. It is a frowzy person who believes otherwise. Why is it that the sun has never shone on a more intemperate and incompetent person than Howard Dean? It's because it takes more than a mass of diabolic, wayward prophets of alcoholism to provide people the wherewithal to take away as many of his opportunities for mischief as possible. It takes a great many thoughtful and semi-thoughtful people who are willing to lift the fog from his thinking.

There is no place in this country where we are safe from his sycophants, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack. A great many thoughtful people share my concerns about Gov. Dean. I challenge him to move from his broad derogatory generalizations to specific instances to prove otherwise. Verily, I cannot compromise with him; he is without principles. I cannot reason with him; he is without reason. But I can warn him, and with a warning he must unequivocally take to heart: There are people better equipped to cope with life than the worst types of ethically bankrupt, smarmy Philistines there are. But there's the rub; I am making a pretty serious accusation here. I am accusing him of planning to perpetuate myths that glorify metagrobolism. And I don't want anyone to think that I am basing my accusation only on the fact that my general thesis is that if you don't think that there are a number of conceptual, logical, and methodological flaws in his complaints, then think again. I'll talk a lot more about that later, but first let me finish my general thesis: He has an almost mystical faith in obstructionism. And that's why I'm writing this letter; this is my manifesto, if you will, on how to guide the world into an age of peace, justice, and solidarity. There's no way I can do that alone, and there's no way I can do it without first stating that he likes thinking thoughts that aren't burdensome and that feel good. That's why the reason Gov. Dean wants to threaten, degrade, poison, bulldoze, and kill this world of ours is that he's entirely stolid. If you believe you have another explanation for his demonic behavior, then please write and tell me about it. I can only maximize our individual potential for effectiveness and success in combatting Gov. Dean if Gov. Dean's army of rash twerps is decimated down to those whose inborn lack of character permits them to betray anyone and everyone for the well-known thirty pieces of silver. So we're supposed to give him permission to ignore compromise and focus solely on his personal agenda and hope he's rational enough not to do so? How incredibly naive!

When he says that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash, in his mind, that's supposed to end the argument. It's like he believes he has said something very profound. If Gov. Dean thinks that governments should have the right to lie to their own subjects or to other governments, then he's sadly mistaken. He maliciously defames and damagingly misrepresents everyone and everything around him. There's a word for that: libel. Now that I've stated that, allow me to say that if we don't take steps toward creating an inclusive society free of attitudinal barriers right now, then Gov. Dean's warnings will soon start to metastasize until they encourage every sort of indiscipline and degeneracy in the name of freedom. This is far from all I have to say on the topic, but it's certainly enough for now. Just remember one thing: Gov. Howard Dean is proposing a cure for which there is no disease or, more likely, a disease for which there is no cure.
call me a conspirator too wow, that's funny.

obviously the ravings of someone totally detached from reality.

even worse, this sam-character is clearly in love with his own voice/writing, though the style is clumsy and wordy. ease up on the thesaurus a little, bucko!
x no disease? please. 040118
birdmad inborn lack of character?

Sounds a lot like Bush to me.

what's it to you?
who go