teenage_jesus Teenage Jesus Welp- it's 1:30pm --1000 degrees-- to hot to even go outside and swing the pitching wedge-- another afternoon of classical music for folks young and old (but mostly old) -- I do hope yer havin' a mighty nice day! Anyone interested in the latest Dave_Christ story? 010730 ... Teenage Jesus ok, ok, hold on now...let me get my notes together... 010731 ... Teenage Jesus OK-so Dave runs his own telephone solicitation business. He contracts with whatever charitable organization (veterans groups, health care advocates, whoever) and then calls high-dollar neighboorhoods to ask the rich folks to buy a ticket to a pizza dinner. It's pretty shady, and Dave and his people make it sound like they are with the organization they have contracted with. All in all, pretty distasteful...but that's not even the crux of the buscuit here...it's the "pizza dinner." Dave rents a hall, and goes out and buys a hundred cheep frozen pizzas and sodas and that's it. That's the pizza dinner! Frozen pizza, and then, if you want something to drink (kind of a requirement with yucky frozen pizza) you have to BUY a coke from Dave. How much? You guessed it, a dollar for a small cup with ice. He can get about five or six cups out of a single can. So all these people show up thinking they are in for a nice charity pizza event, only to find a unique version of hell created by Dave_Christ. But that's not all... some folks got wise to Dave's coke scam and started buying cokes from the machine located in the rented hall. As you might have guessed, Dave was prepared for this. He gets wind of people getting a fair deal on coke around the corner and reaches into his pocket and pulls out what on first glance appears to be loose change. Hardly; Dave has a handful of dented, bent, and banged up pennies and he says to me, "hey- go stick these in the coke machine." "Dave," I said, "where did you get those?" "I banged `em out on the porch this morning." Think of it. A guy, thinking so far in advance of how to screw folks out of their money. He sat on the porch and hit pennies with a hammer to jam up a public drink machine so people, if they wanted something to drink, would have no choice but to pay his inflated price. Un-freaking-believable. 010802 ... satan satan satan damn that messianic immunity (even though between the two of us, we know he'll never actually get tapped for the job) frickin bureaucratic angels actually insulated his little punk ass from the repercussions. now even dad has a hard time keeping him in check. Gevalt! 010803 ... Teenage Jesus You know who Dave's favorite band is? It's The Jefferson Airplane. I can dig `em to, but he is a Jorma Kokunan freek. He gives his phone bank people herbal speed so they'll make more calls. 010803 ... Dafremen Ok I broke the can_you_interest_me blather so I'm posting this here TJ. I was offering to tell the story of Larry Kneel and the Quest for Mazatlan Gold in exchange for a good reason why I should. You approached with a reasonable request and here I am. So first let me answer W.E.'s blather about winning. Yes, yes weedeater...you win...yes indeedy..that's a good guy...run along..you are appreciated... "Teenage Jesus" you say TJ? Hmm lemme think about it...first off though, can you find out why it is that the "communion" (the breaking of the bread as body and sharing of the wine as blood) appears in the last three Gospels to be written, Matthew, Mark and Luke, but that it doesn't appear in the Gospel according to John? I'm real curious to know why that is because if my recollection serves me, John has always been regarded as God's humble and faithful historian, in fact he was entrusted with the revelation that became the book of Revelations. Hey if the big guy trusted John with information about the FUTURE, it stands to reckon that his accounting of the gospel would therefore be more accurate and to the facts. In fact, what I find if I take the entire chronology of all four of the gospels and match them up around the time of the last supper. I find that the events match up perfectly and that the only major discrepency is where the OTHER gospels mention the sacrament of communion, the gospel according to John has YOU..Jesus H. Christ yerself dipping a "sop" of bread into yer cup of wine and saying to everyone, "he who taketh of this dipped morsel is my betrayer." Huh?! (Double take) What!!? Yep that's what it sez, and it's got me wondering Jesus man...wouldn't that be the utlimate kick in the @ss if in fact when all of the folx are taking the communion they are betraying you. Heheh quite a sense of humor the big guy has...(I gotta say, he's a trickster alright...give the old man my regards.) So anyhow, give me the explanation for that one, and I'll give up the Mazatlan Gold story...and it IS a good story and it IS a true story. If the can_you_interest_me thread gets fixed there will be three copies of this. The truth is out there... 010823 ... Dafremen P.S. You'll never believe how I discovered this man. I was sitting in a Jehovah's Witness Kingdom Hall with my missus who dragged me there (well to tell the truth I was curious to know more about the people for purely Libran reasons and I went less than reluctantly.) So they just happen to be observing the communion. Well Witnesses don't actually take the communion, they pass it around and let everyone look at it for what it symbolizes. Only the top dogs get to take the bread and the wine. This seemed wrong to me, so while they're doing there thing I start flipping through my bible (I always have one when I gotta go to church...great reading man...really.) looking at the last suppers, trying to find the reference to the communion in each one. I find each event (I'll look em up again and post em cuz it's so damned interesting to see this sh*t) and I put them in the order they appear in each gospel independently...there were a few events that only appeared in two or were transposed in one, but right around the communion is a set of events that falls in line in each of them. That's when I saw it. So I ask the person who invited us tto the Kingdom Hall about that. They ask some church elder or something and he gets this look on his face like I'm making it up. So I show him. They never came back to our house again. I got the same reaction from everyone I've met. They avoid the question completely, or they point to something that John wrote LATER, at the same time as the other guys were writing these gospels. I personally think it was a little ritual they added to Christianity to make it more attractive to the Roman pagans of the time. Like Easter and Christmas were sacrifices and Dia De Los Muertos in Mexico. Anyhow that's how I found it...thought it was an interesting footnote. Ok...footnovella. 010823 ... Weed Eater There were more than 4 gosples. There were multitudes of scribes that had nothing better to do than to follow Jesus around and write down everything the man said. But...do you think any two eyewitness accounts were identical? No no. They all varied to some degree. Do you think John is a more valuable gospel account than Matthew? or Luke? John was one of the 12 Main disciples, he was there at the Passover dinner. He was more concerned that one of his brothers could actually betray Jesus that he focused on that instead, that plus the washing of peter's feet, perhaps because he got the willies when Jesus told them about communion. And...Defremen...look up John chapter 6 verses 53-54. or better yet... I'll post them here. 53 Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. 54 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. 010823 ... Dafremen Sorta tacked on at the end there huh? Nice...they were GOOOOD. Like I said...I always gave propz to John...the man could WRITE. See also: JOHN 010823 ... Dafremen Hey...here's a question, why don't the other three mention dipping the bread into the wine and Jesus saying.."this is my betrayer"? Hey T.J. Ahem T.J.! Can you clear this whole thing up please? 010823 ... Teenage Jesus Yeah- I'll clear it up. But I gotta run home and give my wife the car first so she can go out and spend up some more of our (very limited!) money (while I sit here blathering, and earning that money.) Back in a few - 010824 ... Teenage Jesus It's true- I never said any of that stuff. It's just plain crazy- It's like the damn Donner party every Sunday. When they wrote the bible (the first time) they included all kinds of stuff that's just plain `ol hogwash. They turned me into some sort of school-marmy pathetic beggar. What I really said was do good things as much as you can, and don't scratch my Daddy's records. I did like John. (You know he reincarnated as Orsen Welles.) He was a wise user of ancient drugs. One thing though- he never figured out what I have found to be true: Act like a dumbshit, and they'll treat you as an equal...but that's pretty advanced knowledge to put iinto practice. Now- enough of that; How about that story... 010824 ... Teenage Jesus ahem - Daffy! How about that gold story... 010824 ... Dafremen Heheh ok man, but it'll have to wait til I get home. It's kinda long. (I wish I could tell it in person, it's quite a sight to see when I do.) When I get home: "Larry Kneel and the Quest for Mazatlan Gold" (based on a true story) 010824 ... Teenage Jesus Splendid. I'll read it first thing tomorrow... 010824 ... Teenage Jesus ...on Monday actually (don't like to blather at home...) 010824 ... Teenage Jesus Hey Daf, I know you're a family man like me with lots of responsibilities at home etc...but I've been looking forward to the gold story all weekend. How about it... 010827 ... A guy who says "That sucks!" http://www.redriverradio.com/adam.html 010827 ... Teenage Jesus DAFFY!! Please! How about that GOLD story? What gives? 010828 ... Teenage Jesus OK- Daf- just asking for the story again...I sure hope it's good; whenever you decide to tell it... 010829 ... Dafremen Ok do0d. I am SO sorry. I'm getting CLOBBERED at work and at home and there has been no time in the day to do much more than blurt a blather here or there. I've started on the story and will have it soon. Please bear with me and tell that punk that bet I'd tell the story right away to eat a big fat d[END TRANSMISSION] 010829 ... Dafremen Quest_For_Mazatlan_Gold 010829 ... Teenage Jesus I figured you were busy; thanx for your consideration - as Floyd once told Andy, "you're a prince!" 010830 ... Dafremen THE_FAREWELL I will be in touch. I still have your number. If you need ANYTHING...you know. Daf 11:11 031002 what's it to you? who go blather from