shoe_moocher
Dafremen What if someone wears my shoes every night while I'm asleep, then puts them back every morning just before I wake up?

I just honestly don't recall my feet smelling this bad, and a mystery shoe mo0cher seems the only reasonable explanation.
020430
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Teenage Jesus I'll bet you a dollar that it's the heat. 020507
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Teenage Jesus ...AND, how would you feel about buying me something there where you are and sending it to me in the mail? My bread, of course... 020507
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Dafremen I would do it with my bread if I could my friend. Email me with the details.

But my how I miss conversing witcha T.J.

Hey...I have songs that must be sung..what to do?
020510
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Teenage Jesus ALright, so I'll send you an e-mail. I still want to see if you can do this "thing" for me.

As for discussion(s) let's go. I've got some major marital crap to burden you with. If I don't see you here later today, It'll be necessary for me to go to more drastic measures like: daf_please_help-freaking_again
020610
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Dafremen Iīm here...shoot.

Maybe we can work out some sort of opinion/advice trade.

Iīm cranking out songs at the rate of one every two days or so. Some of them are really good too. Iīve posted one (not necessarily the best one) on the net and blathered all of the rest. I found some guy calls himself Guitar Joe who has agreed to teach me to play in return for some PC lessons. As for the marital problems, let the questions fly, my man. You know me, always ready to listen and help if I can.
020611
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Teenage Jesus Well things have quieted a bit since I last wrote here...However;

I'm just getting really frustrated with her parenting choices. And she won't listen or talk about this stuff with me. (I'm stubborn?!? Jeez!) Anyway, I agree with you in terms of discipline. I don't think bad behavior should be ignored. I believe in putting an immediate stop to it. She thinks ignoring it is best.

And another thing- I back her up on any/all decisions she makes. I believe iin presenting a uninted fron to the kids. In other words, don't come looking to me for something if your Mama already said no. Now don't you think that one good turn deserves another? She has taken to contradicting me, and critiquing (sp?) me as I deal with the boys. It really pisses me off, but I have kept it well under control. (You'd be proud.)

She's getting really cheesed off lately when I want to talk about this. I have my position well thought out and organized. It seems the more sense I make, the more ticked and unreasonable she gets.

OK; so that's it. All's well really. I just think Daddy deserves a little more respect. Thoughts?

Look for that e-mail SOON.
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Dafremen Well T.J. Iīve got some bad news for you:

Mine is exactly the same way and it will NEVER change completely. Youīll get tired of being the Ļbad guyĻ too, no doubt, just as I do. I back my wife up 100% and she backs me up after Iīve fought with her enough times about something to make her afraid to get in another argument with me about it. There is no easy and harmonious way around it Iīm afraid. She will spoil the kids, they will get hurt and THEN and only then will she GRUDGINGLY accept SOME of your advice...IF you can prove that it works should she give you the opportunity to do so.

I took a rather drastic measure once. I withdrew COMPLETELY. I just completely stayed out of it. I did what she did (trust me...it about killed me every time. Like I was betraying my kids by letting them walk all over us) I let them have their way by sending them her way, whenever they asked for permission...ask your mother. When she would ask me to discipline or get involved, I walked away...nope thatīs your problem dear, you take care of it. I spent more time on the computer, more time in the bathroom writing and reading. More time playing with the kids, but not disciplining them. I didnīt spoil them, but I didnīt try NOT to either and WHENEVER the kids came to ME for permission...ask your mother.

Itīs difficult. To this day, even though she long since gave in and tells the kids to listen, she still wonīt back me up, still argues with me in front of the kids.(Although to her credit...itīs less often.) These days I argue until they canīt stand it anymore (easier for me than it will be for you...specially loving harmony and disliking confrontation as much as Iīm sure you probably do.) I still feel like the Ļbad guyĻmost of the time T.J. and I donīt see an end in sight. But sheīs had her crazy temper tantrum moments when sheīs pushed our lives to the brink of destruction, and my oldest are just old enough to realize how insane some of her decisions have been, so they tend to listen to me about these things. Iīve also made it real clear that Iīm not to be trifled with or treated like Al Bundy. My kids know that if they donīt tow the line, I quit working and move. The wife too, Iīve told her several times, when I disagree very strongly, that Iīm tired of being a slave...doing all of the work and getting none of the say. Iīve sat down and said...Iīm not going to work, Iīm done. She, confusing the fact that I want one of us home with the kids with the notion that sheīs not employed because Iīm a sexist, threatens to get a job. I tell her "thatīll work for me, Iīll have more time with the kids" then ask her if she wants me to go down to the store and get a newspaper for her.

Then I donīt BUDGE until I get my way and YES Cancer folk can be INCREDIBLY stubborn, but Taurus folk can be NOTORIOUSLY stubborn, so I think youīd win that battle in the end. Just donīt forget to mention a thousand times a day how much you love her while youīre making your point. The entire time, itīs important that you mention how unfair you feel it is that you get no say. How you just want whatīs best for the kids, are thinking of their future, of a time when neither you nor she will be around to protect them. It takes awhile for Cancer folk to come around, but they are NOT insensitive, quite the opposite, and she will eventually see the unfairness of the situation if you point it out to her. Iīm sure that lots of luvvy wuvvy baby talk gets for her just about anything she wants out of you. Realize that sheīs not any different, baby talk works. She just has a delayed reaction time and will NOT be pushed into anything. Cancer folks usually donīt reflect on things until they are safely in the past. That goes for arguments, discussions and pleas for understanding as well.

Good luck to you old man.

Iīm still waiting to hear about the Mexico package thing...oh and in spite of what Daxle sez about my rotten voice ("Duh." Being my response. : ) ) Iīd like an honest opinion about the songs themselves and maybe any ideas you might have for how to break into the songwriting biz. I think it would be a nice compliment to my new career as a restauranteer/salesman.

see also: TWICE_BETRAYED
020612
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Teenage Jesus Priceless advice. I've come to expect nothing less; thanx again! I've played around a little bit with that tuning out thing; it does appear to work. And boy are you right on re-affirming the love. As I'm dishing out the truth, I make sure there are heaping helpings of love to go with it. Anywho, it's been a relatively quiet couple of days. I hope it lasts; but we'll deal as necessary.

On the writing/performing front, let me suggest that you keep doing what your doing. There's no "plan" or "secret key" to getting your stuff "out there." To be honest, you're stuff is more in the public eye than a lot of folks who have been doing it for a long time. Just keep writing; get a gig if you can. You know, get your shit together and go see if you can play (for free, of course) in the corner of some eatery or a bar or something. I'm a big universe truster- what's supposed to happen to/for you, most certainly will. But of course, there's nothing wrong with you helping the Universe out a little, now is there?

I need to go and read over some more of your songs...

I'm e-mailing you right now. You know what man? You're outta sight! I mean it; you are truly OK Daf...
020613
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Dafremen One of my favorite blathers.

How my smelly feet became astrological relationship counseling I'll never know.
030714
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