and_she_said sabbie "your hair is flypaper for freaks" and i snorted into my coffee and tried hard not to turn around 020118 ... bad music for bad people Oo! EE! AH! AH! 020118 ... girl_jane and then he said... and then she said... and then they said... I really don't like gossip. 020216 ... yummyC and she said I LOVE YOU. i held back a laugh. 020216 ... Mahayana [:: and she said ::] "Love Faith Honesty and Trust I have hope. That helps. It was you. I thrive on hope. Where there is hope, there is strength. (At least for me) To whom are you speaking? Is it me? Is much like being knocked off you feet and landing face down in the snow. Something within me that I thought was dead has been awakened. I'm not used to it. I don't even know what to call it. Was it you who made it happen? Maybe. Perhaps it wasn't and I just want it to be you. Is it good or bad? That depends on how you look at it, and unfortunately, on what certain people think. Silence. Someone who is withdrawn and looks as though she will cry at any given moment. There's rage within. Please don't let my fuck up come between us. I miss the connection I thought I had with you. I miss the only friend I had who might have had a chance of understanding. I'm not saying the right words. I never do. But still, I miss you. I just want to talk to you. mmmm, how you get to me... ...was torture. I'm aching for more. Scattered. But piece by piece you are helping me put them back together. It's taking shape now. Can you see it? It's us. I love you, Sass. ... is what you are, my Love. Lure me into your web of dreams, hope, desire, love. Take me Keep me all the time You have one minute left. I can hear you. Because I never know what to say after you speak such things to me. I love you, like I've never loved anyone. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. Not being able to be near you, to see you, to hear your voice, to say your name and know that you hear me. Never doubt my love for you, for I do not doubt your love for me. I do, however, wonder if you know how much I care. If you are ever afraid of anything, consider the fact that I might have the same fears. Am I good enough? Can I make her happy? Will she always love me? Or will my heart once again be broken? I won't walk away from you. Please stay with me. I'm sorry that you feel you are nobody... nothing. You are everything. Everything that is good, pure, wonderful, amazing ... I would take the pain away if I could. I love you. I see you. Sass, I mean it. I am "home" wishing I was somewhere else. e swmi twr is crying burning yearning to be with you I love you. oh dear... Then I'm safe. It was orange. I'll wait as long as I have to. I need you today more than ever. Come to me. I wish she were here. Even though she's not, she still leaves me breathless. My thoughts of her Thoughts of being with her Imagining how it would feel to hold her hand, her fingers between mine Or how it would be to hold her, to wrap my arms around her and whisper I love you. It leaves me breathless. us is you that i now know what it feels like to be loved and accepted for who i am rather than for who people want me to be. i miss you. § § oh my love, had i known that it meant so much to you, all that i have expressed to you in other ways...all the emails, instant messages, phone calls...i would have also written here.it is true that i do not express myself here as much as i used to. but that in no way means that my feelings for you are less important, or weaker, than what i have felt in the past. in all honesty, had i been given the opporunity, or felt comfortable enough or been free to express myself in person to one who hurt me in the past, i would have done so rather than writing my feelings at blather. please dont think that i do not feel for you as much as i have felt for others. for my love for you is stronger, more intense, more passionate than anything i have ever felt. i am comfortable to be who i am with you. i know that i am free to say what i think and what i feel. i can be anything with you. just as you can be anything with me. i love you, sass. you are my love, my life, my soulmate. you are my everything." [:: but not all at once ::] 020522 ... ihopeitsme im aroused. uhhh.. [should this be happeing now? ] 020522 ... unhinged 'if messing around with someone means you're in love with them, then i am in love with most of the people in cuyahoga and mahoning counties' somehow that pierced me right to the quick and i'm glad that i never did anymore than 'mess around' with you. but you openly say things like this, openly admit being a slut, and i am supposed to put aside my old stronger feelings for you and be your 'friend'? when all a friend is to you is someone you can 'shoot the shit' with. it's funny how everything you say to justify it just pushes you farther away from me. i could have continued, i did continue when those things were just speculation but when you say them, you slowly give me back every part of my heart you have ever stolen. i want them back damnit. all of them. so fuck you and the last girl or guy you slept with. 'kiss me hard because this will be the last time that i let you...you do not warrant long goodbyes.' 020522 ... tonya (not tanya) "now just shut up and keep your hands on the wheel" Stan Ridgway "Drive She Said" 020522 ... bethany lie on top of me on top of those leather pants of hers her hands immediately guiding mine over those soft slightly oily folds positioning my fingers on a shiny metal tab small and round like a tear then murmuring a murmur so inaudible that even though i could feel her lips trembling against my ear she seemed far far away pinch it she said which i did lightly until she also said pull it which i also did gently parting the teeth one at a time down under and beneath the longest unzipping of my life poe 020522 ... Arwyn "have me" 020522 ... Mahayana "see baby... this is love.. this is how love is posed to be.." 020630 ... sabbie i am so jealous of you. i just want to be in your place. and i thought that's funny. because i just want to be where you are sitting. and i wonder why i thought it would be so much easier when i grew up. 031112 ... ouch ouch ouch "I would have had to have been more drunk..." 031112 ... ouch ouch ouch something about needing to be fucked five minutes before she turned around and got pissed off at me for taking the bait and describing how i'd do it 031127 ... oblivionmachine "Yeah" 031127 ... inkonstaant "if you're gonna tell someone something, I think you have to think hard about whether you really mean it, if you'll still mean it tomorrow." 050419 ... inkonstaant "how can they tell me I can change?- I've always been this way." 050419 ... ouch ouch ouch "...when someone really loves you, you have a lot of power to hurt them..." 050419 ... star 'The world opens up to us, and you have to open up to it. If you can do that, you won't think you're any better than anyone else. Because you'll know that nobody is so all-knowing. We all need eachother.' 050624 ... delial what's it matter anymore, since it was all lies anyway. (nooo, I'm not bitter!) 050625 ... AeonFlummox as "bad music for bad people" was saying... ooo ee ooo ahh ahh ting tang walla walla bing bang ooo eee ooo ahh ahh ting tang walla walla bing bang 050625 ... pete "when the wisdom comes everything else fades" (or something like that) 050625 ... jane i told you not to stick your hand in the fire.. 050717 ... unhinged (and then she came and found me here years later and even started writing here until she misunderstood my words as a threat and left and i'm pretty sure never came back a newer more recent she looked at me with the same drunk eyes but i knew better this time. i stayed far away from any beds when i was with her; i may not have been able to keep my lips to myself but my tongue stayed where it belonged. the sting of her spoken rejection was expected and hurt less. sharing a bed is the kiss of death. no more. no way. no how.) 200404 what's it to you? who go blather from