wept ~gez~ all these years you say nothing and now you weep. i have not tears enought for what you have done to me. tell me how it was done. "its in my power" i was mortal once. i was mortal to you. you gave me your immortal kiss. now look at me 020823 ... unhinged i sat on my mat, facing my altar, and i couldn't feel my heart. i sat on my mat, facing my favorite buddha statue, the weeping buddha, and i wept. i took refuge in the teacher, in the buddhanature, in the dharma, in the sangha, and i wept. there is so much suffering in the world. we huddled in balls and wept. things are stuck inside of me they tear on the way out they make ugly noises not the pretty music i strive so hard to project to the world but ugly strangled tearing in spurts echoing in my hollowed broken insides to a deafening level i curl into myself to feel the vessel now so suddenly empty i am an ocean deep and still the tears a superficial turbulence at the very top like waves on the ocean deep inside i am still that is my true nature but my raft is battered by the waves first i must conquer the waves and part of me was glad for the tears streaming down my face the strangled ugly sounds my voice did make it was leaving me soon even my surface will be still like a mirror reflecting my true insides soon i will be to the outside world what i know is inside that i can't yet show soon even my surface will be still 070416 what's it to you? who go blather from