what_i'm_doing daxle sitting here naked at the apartment in berkeley munching on a chocolate chip waffle and drinking my coffee staring way too close at the monitor because I have yet to put in my contacts thinking about how to get a deal on nipple piercings "someone's a blather monkey" "someone's a penis monkey" it's getting far too warm in here 010113 ... silentbob oh, the visuals 010113 ... misstree i was thinking the same thing, but i think in refernce to other visuals... what does this button do...? 010114 ... daxle staring at my nipples incessantly I knew it would look good but not this good! am I turning myself on? 010114 ... silentbob if so, thats not the only one 010116 ... daxle cleaning up puddles damn these nipples of mine 010116 ... psychobabe i'm sitting in the school library, haveing nothing to do because THIS SCHOOL SUXZ ASS! other than that i'm trying to see if anyone is looking or trying to make me feel paranoid cuz i dont like that. lol :) 010507 ... nocturnal sitting here thinking about how, in a few days, I'm gonna hate myself for sitting here doing basically nothing when I should definitely be studying calculus or chemistry or working on my philosophy paper. a word of advice to anyone who still has hope: never become a slacker. for there is no return. 010507 ... psychobabe Thinking of matt and listening to Sublime~summertime 010527 ... luis perez scratching my balls 010706 ... Casey I'm sitting at my neighbor's computer blathering because his internet is faster. He is playing the ompa loompa song behind me 010706 ... black-dyed gel product loathing children and vegans 010706 ... silentbob wrecking myself physically to counteract the wrecking i feel emotionally 010707 ... yummy listening to all apologies by nirvana being pissed at myself for being me and not being good enough and why ahrial??? why her?? i am SO MUCH LIKE HER!!! why not me??????? why cant i just...BE HER???? id trade her. oh my god i would trade her if it meant i could finally get what i've been wanting for over 6 months now, wait, wait...ok if you count fourth grade it would be longer. and no. whatever. i give up. i give the FUCK up i want a fucking gun i am so fucking sick of all this shit, i am too weak to deal with minor little things, why not? the world doesnt need pathetic little moping whiny losers like me oh my god what an idiot.... well now that thats out cya im gonna go ask isaac if dad owns a gun. 010707 ... nocturnal making my friend's little sister do stuff for me. haha. 010707 ... firehunden making my friends little sister do stuff TO me. 010707 ... baby satan doing nasty stuff to everyone's siblings. 010707 ... daxle thinking about the day I was sitting there thinking about that other stuff and sort of vaguely wishing I could reverse time the way I always do and thinking how the nipple thing turned out rather well and thinking about industrial piercing in berkeley and every boy who promised things other than trouble but ended with trouble anyway playing with my hair, or lack thereof 010812 ... blown cherry listening to creep over and over and over, wondering if I'm going to go mad, because it seems like the sort of thing that's likely to happen. 030112 ... *nat* Thinking I should be doing some coursework. Being happy about my mock grades Looking forward to next weekend - its only sunday evening. Txting Ross back. Listening to Foo Fighters - Learn To Fly Typing ~ wow i can multi-task. 030112 ... angie listening to Pearl Jam's new cd that I bought today thinking about how my ring is too big for my middle finger but I dont wanna wear it on any other hand thinking bout the snow...its snowing... eating chocolate chips haha cuz the pms has set in, i felt extra emotional last nite...it has continued into the day...got a lil upset with eliz when she told me sam left without even saying goodbye to me...that was weird. i scratched my ear... my right hand is slightly larger than my left...i only notice it when i wear rings...perhaps my right hand is stronger and it has more muscle and that is why it is slightly larger hehe i hope there are good songs on this pearl jam cd, i am sure there will be...maybe haha i saw your ex (amanda) at best buy... i dont know if she knows what i look like or not...do u know if she does? my little brother is gonna get home from school soon...oh wait...here he is! buhbye :) 030113 ... lo sitting biting my lip clicking go go go 030522 ... ItGirl You walk in without a word... and that easily I am yours. There is no apology on your lips or in your eyes. And I don't care. "God,you're beautiful" (me, beautiful... oh please let me be beautiful)I whisper your name... your lips so soft and warm come down on me and i drown in you... the smell of you, subtly sweet and so strong, that taste, some where in bewtween a musk and a perfume, and your fingers gentle and seeking. So easy to let go... not to remember... What the hell am I doing? 030707 ... birdmad pulling a staple out of my forehead (don't ask) 030707 ... monee yattering in blather 041229 ... sirflaccid Sitting at this damned machine wondering if you will ever swim in this deep blue ocean again. 041229 ... Mister Brightside Dreading what the oral surgeon's bill is going to look like to fix/remove/replace the various teeth i have had cracked, broken and loosened in the last couple of months worth of indulging my masochism by pissing off large drunk rednecks 041229 ... Freak ill tell you what your doing... blather isnt for this bitching bullshit (yes I realize that is exactly what im doing right now and thats what pisses me off about it the most) you have something to say and cant say it to my face then you can write it in a fucking email (the only reason Im not doing that right now is because I dont know your email address and this dumb computer wont let me get on aol) you are destroying this "deep blue ocean" of mine (which i think is your goal) and the reason im getting so mad about it is because I cant read it without responding and adding to the pollution myself... Forcing me away again...I shouldve kept this place a secret from the beginning 050106 ... thunderbuck ram Being entertained by silly old precious blatherskites. 050107 ... dandy Listening to Krall croon, negating the calm she spoons with honeyed tone by making my heart hammer not drone, multi-odd-tasking, asking too few questions, resisting silence and reading Rumi say, "Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form. The child weaned from mother's milk now drinks wine and honey mixed. God's joy moves from unmarked box to unmarked box, from cell to cell. As rainwater, down into flower bed. As roses, up from the ground. Now it looks like a plate of fish and rice, now a cliff covered with vines, now a horse being saddled. It hides within these, till one day it cracks them open." 050107 what's it to you? who go blather from