what_i_forgot_about_your_body carlie countless 031112 ... megan it puts me in a state where there is nothing else 031112 ... jane i will soon find again 031112 ... nomatter I can lightly scratch your side with my nails and we won't be able to control ourselves. 031112 ... girl_jane I forgot it for a reason... 031113 ... Syrope ... oh my god ... 031113 ... ClairE all comes back; the word "body" is an invitation to smooth lines and planes and fingertips tracing, measuring each of your ribs the way you breathed the texture of your skin the way you lay so straight and i would turn and grab the sheets and grab you and notice the way my hand felt on your waist and also because there are tears drying on my face; these days tears and laughter and forever and today and next_week swim in and out of my vision (and in and out of my heart at night when it's too dark to see and words and feelings can creep in while bravery and cheer have gone to bed) that's when i remember your face; that's when i remember your_smile, the way the lines of your face broke my heart the way my insides felt like they were bleeding for the thought of your skin smoothed over bones knowing the inside of your thigh breathing quietly to myself sleeping_together, moonlight washed over us like a blanket and also it still exists; your heart is still beating and i haven't thought of that in so long my hair pressed against your chest the smell of your clothes knowing the hairs of your body phrases like "pressed tightly" and "warmth of your body" and even "cuddling" meant something now it is all untouchable i write letters and send them off i press buttons and communicate but there is no one in my bed and i am used to sleeping_alone You think you lose the knack but when it comes back, "body" just means the smell of your own skin when you wake in the morning, sunlight preceding you, thoughts dissipating like touch. 031113 ... x every inch spells sex 031114 ... shh the shape of your cute little ears 031115 ... l*yeux nothing, but i never got close enough for that to matter 031115 ... x when i knew you were leaving me for good i went into some tirade about your hands, gripping them while you would still let me, hoping that i could memorize at least them. my memories are vague. i might as well drown. no love like the first love no love like the first love no love like the first love etc etc etc OH etc 031117 ... silentbob what i liked about it in the first place 031117 ... imposter endless 031118 ... imposter desire 031118 ... lobsterman i had to leave behind, though they were my freedom, the memories which would destroy my mundane life. i cannot go on a quest for you, you are not merely object to be sought at some mountain's peak. you have asked me to forget you, and i lack the resolve to tell you that i might as well forget myself. 040304 ... f mmmm.....forget yourself well thats a very good idea what you have just said is just absolutely beautiful.# take the "me", "my" and "I" out and what do you have? - the bigger picture. can't you see it? it's huge, your world is not just inside you it is everything, you are one. stop suffering and start feeling the truth. 040304 ... lobsterman if remembering becomes as easy as forgetting, what is truth? if you suffer and i suffer, what is our unity? and that's only if i can view a you within me telling me to forget it. how can i be unified with something which wants our separation? 040304 ... had to be there huh....what? 040304 ... dit what is the difference? 040925 ... pete that it exists 040925 ... florescent light I never memorized your body I never cared about your body I can't even remember what your body felt like, I was too engrossed in my love do I miss it? no. no no no no no no no I miss that intensity. my hands shielding your forehead, desperatly trying to ease your pain through my touch. but you never felt that. your pain never lifted. and that drove me nuts. hurt I never had it to miss. I touched your soul but you couldn't feel past the hands on your skin even though I burned them to your heart 040926 ... laced what i forgot is the way it feels with me when God let's our bodies be and we are nothing, but infinite 040927 ... tyler waters everything. if i saw it again, it would come back in an instant.. i would have forgotton about how i don't remember now. it would be as though it was there all along. it is there. i just cant see it. 040927 ... thunderbuck ram ....is irrelevant, beacuase I remember all the best bits. 040928 ... magicforest your scent 040928 ... mourninglight how much I wanted to know it rather affirm its existence its a phase I slip in and out of there is power in anonymity or mayhaps formlessness 041002 ... Fearless Leader i forgot. god mother fucking damn it why can't i remmember! 041231 ... unhinged skin and bones pressing against me so thin little dimples above your ass disappearing behind shower curtains skin and bones the stronger to hold me with my pretty 041231 ... laced I can't remember the color of your eyes and that might not be such a bad thing 070926 ... fuffle why do some people change the colour of their eyes ? is it for fun ? that man used to have blue eyes ? what do you want to pretend ? fun is fun though, i know :) 070926 ... benny profane nothing. i didn't forget anything. not the shape of your hands, your thighs, not the weight of your breasts, the taste of your skin, the smell of your hair, the feel of your mouth, the smile of your eyes. even when they were crying. 070926 ... Ouroboros how your sweat mixes intoxicatingly with your deodorant 070927 ... somebody I always forget that you have six noses. 070927 ... hsg stretching_out_in_all_directions knowing_that_i've_wasted_life yet a single moment's choice is all it takes to give it all back and step through. been afraid to try for what is the circle's not completed. but how silly to me that now appears. life's always a completed cycle through death though death a dream thought death was an end but throughout the process a justified means... meaning it's kind of nice to realize -does nice me an y thing at all when that was to be feared came up as empty shadow? how shallow to not know the light inside. dragged there through cold water, had i known what's below the surface i w o u l d have drowned a long time ago. a type of would that refuses to float despite its nature and what it seems to be told. the smallest point i dare not miss. vibrate shuns illusion. a friend of mine - a part i call and wave. best frenemies forever loving to dance. on borrowed_time and never in between. slowing down is not a waste and fast beat has it's own tune, too. a whip-likeffect carefully measured. breaking the sane barrier delving into deep blew the unconscious wide open. it all takes forever to figure your way out. bestrust your heart and leave your mind. that's queer peg is afraid to fithrough sound holes. 070927 ... hsg oops. 070927 ... unhinged you devoured me my brain got addicted to the orgasms you got what you needed got bored (my celibacy is getting the better of me) 180502 what's it to you? who go blather from