false_love_letters peyton E-mail me. I'll write you one. Just give me a subject. Tell me what you want to hear. Or don't. ;) Put in the subject line: Letters I can't wait. 050726 ... false love letter 1 Letter: dear peyton, i love you desperatly. i miss you terribly. ive been drunk often since youve been gone. ive written to you every day, i fold the letters into tiny kites, i make the tails out of hair snipped from my head and tangled into threads, i open my window and let them go on the breeze. peyton i love you. i love your words, and i love who you are. i have never loved anyone like i love you. you are unique, glass glittering amongst the rocks. the world turns and turns again but only grinds and grinds me down when you are not here. peyton i love you. i love you desperatly. i am a little embarrased at how much you mean to me, how much you have become part of my life. how much you are under my skin. i dont know how you managed it, but somehow you did. peyton, i love you. i love you. love you. love me. 050726 ... Mr. Tinkles Dear John, I really love you (giggle...smirk). So much that I ache when we are (giggle..giggle....laugh) apart. Please say (laugh) you'll be mine for ever and (snort...chuckle...wipe tears from eyes) ever. Love, Me (bitch who deserves heartbreak. bitter. no not me. i'm calm and relaxed) 050727 ... unhinged that look in your eye a false love letter just sit there and deny that you still have any feelings for her but you want my advice on how to talk to her you want me to tell you that she's not fucking with you babe let me give you some advice chances are those things she does that are like a knife in your heart when you do them to me are like a knife in mine why would she tell you about the other guys she's fucked since you left? you never seem to care how i feel you just want me to give you answers that look in your eye a false love letter cause you were thinking that i was too stupid to know what you were using me for me the springboard to help you get back in the water as you walked away from the house and i didn't step out the door waving, making no move to follow you i saw you turn back and then away i don't follow boys like you home anymore every smile and every touch a false love letter to charm what you want out of me like i didn't know but willingly looked away you thought you were so good at your game please_just_fuck_with_me baby so i can put the blame back on me i burned all those letters i don't hug boys like you anymore 050727 ... peyton Dear darling false love letter, I love you too. I've been thinking of you everyone moment since our one brief meeting. You were like a messiah out of my dreams. Everytime my fingers brush your skin I feel like I'm touching virgin snow. There is nothing about you I do not crave. I crave for you. It is my than hunger. Without you I cannot breathe. I don't want to see.. to exist.. to be. Every song on the radio is dedicated to you. I twist every strand of my reality to bend towards your sunlight. Even though you aren't here anymore, everything smells of you. Everything I taste has your taste. Everything beautiful in my life, is you. I am nothing with you inside me. I feel like an empty shell without your breath inside me. You are my nectar in the day. You are my thirst, and my refreshment, all combined into one. I hurt so much when you aren't with me. It's a desperate, ever aching hunger. In this empty house I am a ghost. I am a vampire. I am just a wailing spectre of some lost memory. Please touch me again, my darling. There is nothing I cannot be for you, if you will only run your fingers over my brow. Please come to me, my beautiful desire.. my light.. my darkness.. my everything. This is my most humble and prostrated moment. I love you. I need you. I want you. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. I hurt so much with you gone. The most beautiful thing about us, my seraphim.. is not that I need you.. is that I want you. I want you in everything that is me. I want to put my ugliness on your pyre and let you burn me into innocence. I will do anything for you. For you I will die. For you I will live. I don't care what this life is for or what my purpose is, without you near me. Love you. Love me. Forever. I'm falling without you. You are everything. Make me real again darling. I will wait for you forever. 050807 ... peyton Drinking and a late hour do not make for the sweetest prose, my love. I promise next time I will do better. If you wish to send me a letter, or have one written just for you.. you don't have to explain. Just put "loveletter" in the subject line, and the name in the body. I will craft something just for you. Please do not think this odd.. some people can paint.. some people craft beautiful flowers.. my only gift is words.. I want to give them to you. 050808 ... pete is it the letters or the love that is false? 050808 ... peyton neither they just aren't to that person in particular unless they want them to be 050814 ... peyton love, i haven't thought about you all day. i woke up and struggled with my meaningless arrangements. i made all my appointments, just like you always told me to do. i made some coffee. i burned my tongue. i got in the car and i drove around for a while humming along with a plastic song on the radio. i didn't think of you once. i went and had lunch at the quaint little italian place you and i always talked about. i flirted with the waitress. i left a big tip. i whistled a christmas carol when i was crossing the street. i made a point to check my reflection in the vanity mirror at that terrible intersection you used to hate so much. i drove by the rose bushes you planted on earth day. and i didn't even let you cross my mind. i came home in the evening.. the house was dark. i put my keys on the little glass table you bought for us on easter. i waved to scott's picture.. the one in the silver frame you used to keep that picture of us in. i took a nap on the couch where we first made love. i didn't dream about you. i made a lovely meal of roast chicken and white rice. i watched a sad movie on late night tv. i grabbed a hot shower and i rested my eyes in our old bed. i realized how far away we are.. how far I am.. from that one wonderful night where we promised forever. i took time to reflect how much i can ignore of your ghost. i looked at the scars on my arms from all the flying glass. i closed my eyes and imagined you tracing your finger down my cheek. and i remembered.. i finally.. finally remembered.. that you're gone. and then, love, i felt the worst memory i remembered that you never think about me anymore. i wonder where you are. i wonder why you don't love me like you said you did. i wondere what's wrong with me, and what makes me so ugly. i wonder if you're still beautiful. i wonder if your hair still shines in the sun. i wonder if your laugh is the same, or if you wear the same perfume.. or if you still use your funny little expressions to get what you want. i wonder if you still love little things like you used to. and i am always, always yours. peyton -- 050929 what's it to you? who go blather from