anchor baby "


Born February 25, 1969
DIED March 4, 1994
Cause Accident at Work
Part of me Died that day

I met Johnny when I was 15. My girlfriend and I were hanging out at the 7-11 by my mothers house. And
he pulled up with a in a Red Camero with Black Leather interior, Damn that car was hot. I always told
him I went for the car at first, And he always knew it was true. I have to tell you a little about him before
we go on. Johnny was 5"5 and 125 pounds of solid muscle( an amazing body) He had blond hair and a
mustache and was a mechanic by heart and by trade. When we met he was 20 and Married. I didn't
know. Atlest not until he picked me up at my mothers door with his wedding ring on. My mother and I
both noticed, we had been dating for a week or so.

He did it intentionally and told me when we left. I will never get over my mother not killinghim or me. But
I guess something in her knew. Our affair only lasted a month. I couldn't have feelings for a married man
and I did.

For the next few years he would stop by and see me every now and then. We would talk and then he
would go, nothing important but always around. In 1992 I ran into the same friend I was with that first
night. She was working next door to him. I said to tell him I said Hi! She never mentioned he had gotten

About a week later I was sitting alone i my apartment and he called me. He was sitting at a pay phone
across from my apartment. He found me somehow. From that point on we were together. Johnny was a
grown cild but more stable than anyone I had ever been with. I was still such a kid and so was he.

After about six months he began to have problems with my height and the fact that I was bigger than him
(i'm 5'10) . This set off a chain of events that I can barely explain. The end result was that I broke up wit
him one morning and went to find comfort from a long time friend. We ended up in bed together. When I
woke up the next morning Johnny was squatting at the foot ofthe bed staring at us. Me and my friend.
There were two guys in the livng room asleep and my friend in bed with me and he came in through an
open window like he owned the place. I was pissed and so was he. I will never forget that day. It was the
first time he said he loved me.

br As pissed as he was he knew he would have to ease up if he wanted me back and he did, for awhile.
There are two important things about Johnny and I, He didn't understand his own feelings and I wallowed
in mine.

We had a wonderful summer that year. Going to the lake , riding motorcycles and being together. I loved
him more than I ever thougt possible. Than my wandering came again, I got my feelings hurt and left
again. He won me back again. As christmas came aound we were talking and feeling like what we had
created would go on forever.

In February he took a new job , he was there far two weeks. The night before we went to eat and had a
mild fight about the fact that he thought I used too much shaving cream. When we got home we made
love andfell asleep together.

The next day was my last day on my job, I was supposed to start a new one the following monday. He
woke me up before he left, Kissed me goodby said I love you and something about going to dinner that
night. That was the last time he ever kissed me. I left work at noon, was having a great day, I didn't know
he had just died between 11:30 and noon. I went to wal mart and boughta bunch of shaving cream and a
smartass card he never read. I went to the house cleaned up and did some laundry. It was a warm day
with a cool breeze so I opened the door and fell asleep waiting for him to come home. I didn't know.

I woke up around 5:00 he should have beem home. He worked by his moms so I called her to see if he
stoped by, right as she answered I hung up. She sounded like she was sleeping (she worked nights), I
didn't know. Then I heard a car , We lived in the country. I opened the door and saw Scotts car then
Angies pulling in the driveway. (johnnys best friend and his girlfriend)I thought maybe he was with them.

By the time Scott got to the porch, I knew something was wrong. He began to explan that a 12,000 pound
framing fe on Johnny that mrning, it crushed him from th waist down. He died instantly. I toldhim he was
wrong!!! I called Johnnys mother and asked her something, I don't remember what, all I know is she said
he was dead. Then I calledmy mother. I don't remember it but she tells me I just screamed Johnny was
dead and hung up. The rest of that night is a maze in my mind. I remeber waking up on our bed thinking it
was another one of my nightmares. I hears someone in the kitchen, I went in to tell Johnny about my
dream. Scott had just woke up. When I saw him I rememered. I walked out to the posted fence and
stared down the road, was still waiting for him to come ome.

Over the next few days had to st in on funeral arrangements. pick out the clothes to bury him in and
contact people and find paulbearers/ I was a zombie the whole time, I had not eaten in 3 days. The day of
the funeral My best friend was by my side. I would have never made it with out her. I won't go into the

After the funeral, Some friends all got together I got so drunk I passed out on the floor, I don't drink.
Scott and Angie took me home with them, we got snowed in for three days , I was going insane. I still had
not eaten. When could leave I went straight to his house. I locked my self in for a week. I spent those
days drunk and on pills, at some point i slit my wrists and tried to go buy bullets for his gun. I don't really
remember any of it. But my mother finally came and got me. She took me to eat, I could barely walk.

I have never really been as healthy as I was before that. I used to scream in the night for him and cry alot.
I still cry! I will never understand why him. Even if we didn't make it, I would rather he be around. He
was one of he most loving men I have ever known. And his unconditional love changed me forever. So
did his death.

I live in fear that everyone I love will kiss me good by and never come home again. I live with knowing I
wanted him to take that job. I live with the hole that his death left in the world and in me. But most of all I
live with the love that he gave me and I try to be worthy of it every day. I miss him and I miss that part of
my soul........... Sweet Dreams My Prince"

pritheemydear but johnny, dont you know its punkrock to take it in the ass? 020612
jessicafletcher i don't like that people die. it makes an empty place inside that no one can fill.
the past few years lots of people from my school have died. it's just been a very unlucky time for us. the halls are quiet and at the mention of someone's name people will just ruch into the hall to cry.
losing people is too much...especially for the young.
rhin i could tell you that you will love me for the rest of your life, but i am not you. no matter how much i want to be inside of you, we both live in reality, and your future i cannot predict. however, i can predict mine. i know for certain that i will love you for the rest of mine.

i remembered your birthday...all day long i thought of you. i couldn't tell you. i didn't know how without crying. ...and thank you for remembering mine, because no one else did. it's okay. i knew you would, and that was gift enough for me. :) thank you!
rhin i take it back. kiss my ass. 050121
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