venting_about_my_family endless desire this is my life. this is my impossible family. these are my psycho parents. god they drive me nuts. please, help me find the logic in anything they say. they argue like children. ok so i need to wash some laundry just a little bit so i go to my mother and ask her if she needs any laundry done because we are not allowed to wash small loads. she says she has some in the hamper. so i go to the hamper and take everything out. there really wasn't very much at all and i add it to my load. i kind of forgot about the laundry for the whole day and she asks me to get it out of the dryer today since she is doing my brother's laundry. so i go and i get everything out and the i remember some of their stuff is in it. so i go, "oh i forgot some your stuff was in it." ((obviously)) and she looks down. gasp! "my sweater!" "what?" "my lime green sweater! you washed it with all those darks." "yeah, you told me i could get the stuff out of your basket" "let me see. you ruined my sweater!" she says holding it up. "mom don't worry, it looks fine" "no it looks blue." "it doesn't look blue, it is green." "it is suppose to be lime" "there is weird lighting in the kitchen mom" ((one of our lights was out)) "no no. you ruined my sweater" i take the sweater to the living room where there is lots of light from the windows. "mom. look. ((im losing my patience)) your sweater is green." "no ellyn! it's not. you don't understand. this is YOUR CARELESSNESS with my things! always so careless with my things. my favourite sweater. it was $11. you will pay me the money and i will go and buy a new sweater." ((my mom is practically screaming about a sweater that 11 dollars)) "mom this is ridiculous. i don't think you understand. the sweater is absolutely fine." "it. is. blue." "it's not blue. and even if it was, it was an accident. people have made these mistakes with my clothes too." "that was my favourite sweater" "mom i'm really sorry, but i think it's just fine." ((my stepdad walks in the room)) he says, "what happened?" "ellyn ruined my sweater because she washed it with jeans." me, "i didn't wash it with jeans. i just dried the clothes in the same load." mom, "please don't argue with me right now ellyn. i am not going to deal with it." me: "sorry" stepdad, "she doesn't sound very sorry." me: "no no. i am sorry. i really am. but look, the sweater is fine. i'm sorry." stepdad, "you sure are doing a good job hiding it." me, "well thank you for deciding my emotions, but i really do feel bad." "i am not deciding your emotions, i am just telling you what they look like." me, "i swear to god, you are all impossible." mom, "don't swear." i roll my eyes. mom, "i don't like this attitude. you just ruined my sweater." "I did not ruin your sweater!" "yes you did and i am not going to be able to get another one." "you don't have to get another one!" "you would be so mad if i ruined some of your clothes." "people have ruined my clothes before. no one ever did anything about it." "but this is MY sweater" "so then your clothes are more important than mine?" "you know what ellyn, i am tired of your arguing with me all the time." "what?!?" "not another word. you are going to pay me for my sweater and i will go down and buy one and we wil just see if this one is still green." i mutter: "no wonder i'm so messed up. this family is retarded" "what was that?" "ugh nothing" i sit down at the computer to blather. she comes over "bye elly" and she kisses my forehead and acts all sweet. someone shoot me. how far is vancouver again? 030628 ... celestias shadow oh jesus. i could've had that exact same conversation with my mother. *hugs* I know what it's like, and believe me, I am so, so sorry. 031121 ... no reason me too. it's amazing how much parents can act like children sometimes. 031121 ... ferret oh man! i would LOVE to argue with your parents! sorry but blah, i know EXACTLY what that's like. and the mean to sweet in 10 seconds thing? i'm working on coming up with a medical term for that, how does psychotosweetosyndrome sound? 031121 ... Flowers from Safeway I hope you don't mind if I borrow your venting space for a bit. To my dear sis: GO BACK TO AFRICA YOU SNIDE, SNOTTY, HEARTLESS WOMAN!!! I thought a few years of sucking dirt in a third world country would mellow you out. But IT DIDN'T!! You are still the same condesending insensitive freak you have always been! I hate how some people think you are SOOOOOO nice! Why can't they see through that cheesy plastic smile you have plastered across your face? Well I can see through it, and I don't like what's underneath it. Talk to me however you like, but you stay away from the love of my life! And while we're on the subject, dear sis, why can't you give Mom some damn respect? Go back to Austria, go back to Ireland, go back to Norway, I don't care where just GO! ...aaaahhh, much better 031122 ... fairbecca I am waiting on the couch..while you're up will you ""please"" bring me the cheese wiz and some of those nice wheat crackers that you bought yesterday..since you buy all the food here..it's my job to eat it..no one wants to eat you're cooking anyway..you spoil every meal..too many spices..AND YOU KNOW I HATE PEPPER..i won't work..why should i when you're doing such a good job of it..I really hate it when you come home so tired at night..why, you barely have time to get my laundry done and feed the kid before you pass out on the bed.. I think the sheets need to be changed..why are you ignoring me? I'm special and you know it..you won't thrown me out 'cause you NEED me here to take care of..I think you're afraid of me..Hell, I stopped smacking on you last May..look at how much I've changed for you!.. look at me when I'm talking to you...LOOK at me!....LOOK AT ME! I'VE CHANGED! 031122 ... Death of a Rose okay..... 031122 ... endless desire it's funny because i was so frustrated. my mom and i used to fight all the time. . .now she is the only one i can get along with. funny how things change. you'd think i'd apply that to my life. safeway, why does your sister live in africa? 031122 ... celestias shadow You don't understand! I've been looking forward to this weekend for more than a month! This is the only bright spot right now, the only thing in my life I'm REALLY looking forward to, and you want to take it away from me? Do you have any idea what this means to me? I know you don't want to drive me there. Then DON'T. Just say no. What the fuck is the problem with that? I'll take the T. It's not an issue. They'll just have to deal with it. It's better than having you yell at me for the better part of an hour about what a pain in the ass I am, how I never take responsibility, and how all you wanted were times. I told you five times- I DON'T KNOW. I hadn't talked to them about it till today. I never see them. They're juniors, don't you see? You don't know that I've recently developed major issues with using the phone. I can't call people anymore. I just can't. My throat gets all tight and I freeze up and I want to cry. I'd rather sit down here alone than make the effort of calling someone. So I'm sorry, I just can't call her. Look, I'm really sorry about this inconvenience. I know you're sick of driving me around. But please, just make it easy and say no, you'll have to take the T. I can DO that, don't you see? We only have bags with clothes, sleeping bags, and pillows. It's not a lot to carry. But don't, don't, please don't bitch at me for an hour about what a horrible person I am and how everything is my fault. I can't deal with that. Just make it simple and say no. Oh and by the way, PLEASE stop cutting me off. Please stop interrupting me. I'm doing the best I can not to yell at you anymore. Don't you notice me being quiet? Or are you too busy yelling to even see me as anything but a receptacle for your anger? I'm trying, I really am. Can't you try a little, too? Fuck you, mom. 031204 what's it to you? who go blather from