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innerviews_lu_cid
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frAnk
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yoyoyoyo what up?
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010415
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lu_cid
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rather drunk? Maybe? listening to kid A? Yes.
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010415
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frAnk
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what are you drinking?
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010415
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lu_cid
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Santa Marvista Merlot. It's from Chile. I've never drunk anything from chile. Is it drunk or drank It was a chile weekend. Wine from chile. raspberries from chile... and only 50 degrees.
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010415
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frAnk
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why do you write?
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010415
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lu_cid
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i write because I have a difficult time expressing myself in words. My mind works faster than my vocal chords know how to react. Or perhaps it is the fault of my conscience. When I speak I have the chance to regret, to say, "I wish I hadn't said that," because there is no time to plan. when I write everything is clear, I have the ability of motion, high speed, no care for speedbumps, flying, soaring, no care for landing, and if i crash? I have more paper, I have more space.
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010415
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frAnk
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give me an example of fying and soaring through expression.
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010415
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lu_cid
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i close my eyes. a picture, a word appears. GRAVEL. and then I continue and then I soar.
gravel lying alone empty in a plain of glass. does he know who he is? does he realise the difference? he has no reflection only the veins of who he knows he can be. grey. lonely. impossible. endless because they are green.
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010415
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frAnk
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can people know who they can be?
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010415
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lu_cid
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yes. I think they can. That is what dreams are for. want is a possibilty of our existence. and everyone has the possibilty to be whatever it is they fantasize about. I can see what I want to be and i know I can be the question is of courage. do we have courage to be what we want, or are we stuck under influence?
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010415
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frAnk
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stuck under the influence of what?
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010415
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lu_cid
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the influence of society. Society has a structure, guidelines, that tells us what we are allowed to be and what is just fantasy. A girl from the middle of nowhere is going to have the kind of life that exists, but doesn't expand beyond her borders. there are ads out there that say follow your dreams and be great, just be. but there are few who accept the people who just be. So society is the negative influence that keeps it going. society keeps society. society is the key that cages dreams, because few have the courage to forget about society and remember their soul.
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010415
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frAnk
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how do you remember your soul?
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010415
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lu_cid
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by forgetting. Sometimes I feel that people place too much value on philosophies, equations, intelligence (and in saying this I'm being a hypocrate. I too fall victim to these.). But this is key. When we close our eyes and just drift from memory to things not yet remembered. from want to regret to nothing. to what makes you weep and sigh. to what thoughts make us liquid and transparent. to the things untangible and nonexistant, only known to us. these things are our soul and they should be remembered.
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010415
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frAnk
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perhaps i place a high value on what i see, touch, taste, smell, and feel. how do i translate this experience so my soul can enjoy it?
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010415
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frAnk
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by seeing, touching, tasting, smelling, and feeling through the sixth sense, the soul sense. Take the five senses and convert them into one. It is hard to explain. when you do this the reality of life feels far off and and everything turns into a tear dripping at the back of your throat. It is the feeling of being in love, only you are not in love with one person, but an entire universe and you can feel the return, a buzz, a tingling, a warmth. you are suddenly the branches on the tree, and the wind is through you. it is too much though for me. I always fall into a deep depression. I can't hold onto it long enough. I let it go. i let it die. the only thing for me then is to sleep. I wish I could learn to hold onto it.
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010415
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frAnk
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i'm sorry, that last post was from you.
anyway, what do you think it will take for you to be able to hold onto it longer?
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010415
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lu_cid
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to be able to ignore society, to have complete peace. to be able to look in the face of a man who has just spit on me after he killed my dog and say, "I don't hate you." to be a god. Maybe if I had been raised to use only the sixth sense fromt the moment I was born, then maybe it would be easy. conflict has become too much a way of life. eliminate my human desire for conflict, and than I think I'd have it.
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010415
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frAnk
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where do you have conflict? in what kind of life situations?
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010415
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lu_cid
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I do not necessarily mean conflict in an angry or violent way. Conflict is the human condition. Conflict is a question. Should i stay or should I go? This is conflict because it stops the soul from embracing and pulling in. from accepting what is around it. conflict occupies the mind, and the mind is stronger because it has been trained. there is no one to train the soul.
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010415
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frAnk
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if you cannot train the soul, then how do you prevent its unbridled wildness?
or does it simply live free within you?
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010415
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lu_cid
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i believe that the only reason that you can say that a person's soul has unbridled wildness is because of the regulations that society has put on us as a species. there are certain things that we do not do, that are not accepted. there are good unaccepting things and bad unaccepted things. If we were a species brought up to use our souls and not our minds, think how differently we would be. unbridled wildness? it would not be a question. but we as a species were not raised that way. The soul is not an accepted instrument. only the idea of one.
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010415
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frAnk
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someone said, "if there was no music, life would be a mistake."
what do you think?
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010415
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lu_cid
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maybe music was put in life as a desire and i'm not just talking humans, but animal, plants, water. everything has a rhythm. music is based on rhythm. life is based on rhythm. the world is never silent. life wouldn't be a mistake, because it couldn't even exist. it would fall apart.
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010415
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frAnk
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i know you love the song 'kid a' from kid a. i once had it playing and you were so zoned that you asked why there wasn't any music playing. how can this happen?
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010415
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lu_cid
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some music,(that one in particular, although the whole album does it) pulls me to the surface and out, so that I become an unaware observer. It is not my eyes that see, and yet they are looking.gggrrr I can't explain it. Since the music is what pulled me out in the first place it becomes me, and i can't hear it, like your heartbeat, you have to focus on only that to hear it. What happens when kid A is the sound your heart makes?
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010415
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frAnk
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i would think that your inner world and outer world are coming into balance. what do you think?
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010415
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lu_cid
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yes, but only if i keep my eyes open. the second I close them, who knows.
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010415
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frAnk
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i know you to be an incredible artist. how did it all start? do you remember the first feelings you had when you could make an image on a blank piece of paper?
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010415
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lu_cid
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the first thing I ever remember drawing was a penguin and I remember my dad praising me and i was so excited. I was about 5. I kept drawing, but I drew for praise, the enjoyment of someone being pleased because I drew a pretty picture. It is different now. Art is such an incredible way of grabbing peoples' attention. Because of my ability I have learned to transform that into a way of smacking people in the face with a question. people need lit, and art has become my match.
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010415
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frAnk
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lu_cid, thank you so much for being the first to be innerviewed. who would you like to see next?
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010415
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lu_cid
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ok, anytime. The next innerview should be Silent Bob. You should ask him about Calvin and Hobbes and what his opinion is on them. I have this theory on the comparison between Jay and Silent Bob and Calvin and Hobbes, and I was wondering if it ever crossed his mind.
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010415
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silentbob
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Question:
do you like the song "How to Disappear Completely" on Kid_a as much as i do?
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010416
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lu_cid
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When I listen to Kid A I have to listen to it in its entirety. I don't skip from one to the next. How to Disappear Completely always stands out as one of my favorites and I think this is the fault of The National Anthem. #3 feels so violent and unnerving that it is impossible for me not to fall in love with the peace and melancholy that #4 brings.
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010417
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silentbob
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mmmmmmmmm
exactly
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010417
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anne and joes baby lilly
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Wow. The first innerview, kev.
Did Silent Bob ever answer my question about the comparison betwen Calvin and Hobbes and Jay and Silent Bob?
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020518
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what's it to you?
who
go
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blather
from
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