whydoialwaysfeelsoalone me i feel left out when im with my friends. i feel left out in school generally. even here, everyone seems to know each other, and im feeling left out as usual. i cant believe im sitting here crying. why? i always tell myself i have strong personality. and even if i had no friends, i would be fine. i guess its easier to say that when you do have friends. i get it alot on friday nights. alone, watching tv. theres nothing on. theres nothing to do on the computer either, and there. you feel so alone. all because society tells you that you should go out on a friday night. that you should be having fun on a firday night.well fuck society. but i still feel alone. and theres nothing i can do to change that. i wish i had a someone. anyone to talk to on those friday nights. just someone to tell everything to. well i guess thats what blather is for. but that still doesnt help, try as it might. i can get my feelings out, but it doesnt help much either. and when i do think of suicide, i know all i want is attention. i just want someone to take notice of me. is that too much to ask? just one person. someone who actually cares. and all i have is my music. 021201 ... Dafremen I care. I really do. I'm sorry you feel alone and I think I can understand where you are coming from. If it would make a difference, I would write a poem for you and shed a tear for you and your loneliness so that you could know that I am sincere. I am, you know. Email me, I´ll try to listen and pay attention. It's the least I can do for someone as unique and wonderful as you. 021201 ... Dafremen P.S. Sometimes, I like being alone. Is that strange? It's just that I feel comfortable when I'm alone sometimes, I've been that way for so many years. Sometimes I just don't FEEL like going anywhere, I just wanna hang out with a select few people and enjoy their company, ya know? Is that what you're feeling? Or is it something else entirely? 021201 ... hogswatchnight im feeling good right now =) 021216 ... me thanks alot Dafreman. next time im feeling depressed, ill remember there's someone who cares. it means alot to me. 021216 ... me Dafremen* whoops =D 021216 ... me =( and my neck hurts. dont know why. yeah. i would probably write again about how im feeling depressed. but i dont want to. it doesnt help. its just stupid. im just pathetic. and dont say im not. bah. 030103 ... the hogfather i wonder why i do though? i mean, i was perfectly fine earlier today...lol, im beginning to think its my music...haha, man im such a dork... 030121 ... mr pete being alone is easier then pretending to be someone else. When I am out with people on a friday night, I feel like I don't fit in, so I pretend to be who I'm not. Then eventually I retreat back into myself and hide in a corner. So, when I am alone, I feel depressed, but only when I think I should be out with people. When I read, or listen to music, or just think, then I don't feel so lonely, becuase I can enjoy my own company. But it would be nice to be able to just go out and have fun and stop worrieing about being alone so much. Welcome to depression....hopefully it goes away eventually. I am still waiting. 030122 ... unhinged nope. it doesn't go away. i've been waiting too long for the same thing; i've given up on hope. 030122 ... the godfather it has to go away. i seriously dont want to spend the rest of my life with people i dont really care about, pretending to be someone im not. 030204 ... Dafremen What you need, unhinged, is a significant other to make you complete and bring balance to your life. Either that or a good cup of chamomile tea and a backrub. 030215 ... jenny especially yesterday...it was valentines day and i had noone. what sucks is i have never had anyone on valentines day....ever! maybe cause im only 16 but still it makes me sad sometimes. but then again i think that valentines day is just a hallmark/candy holiday so that they can make money and so its ok that i dont have anyone to share this fake holiday with 030215 ... Mr Pete Valentines makes more people depressed then happy. Does this make any sense? I spent this day with friends bowling... one of the people there was an ex-girlfriend......I still had a good time...and it was the best Valentines Day I have ever had. 030225 ... minnesota_chris bowling rocks! Valentines Day sucks because it, like Christmas, is all about expectations. You expect to get something. If you get it, it's acceptable. If you don't get it, life is horrible. 030225 ... megan *i miss people* such a simple statement, yet a call to humanity... what are we doing to these people? 030305 ... and you bitch and you moan probably because no-one actually really knows me. you could say thats my fault, but it might help if once in a while someone actually tried 030328 ... cube Ok, I'm willing to try. Of course, since you have only one blathe under that nic (bitch_'n_moan) it's going to be difficult to get to know ya... ³ 030328 ... who i am doesnt matter anymore I just started thinking today about how weird i am. ... Ive always wanted a "best friend' someone to have inside jokes with, someone to tag along with me, someone to be goofy with, someone to just sit with...ya know, a close friend. and recently someone has opend that door for me. Shes ALWAYS around, she treats my house like a second home, she makes plans for us, she does things for me and confides in me...and now im running from it. i feel like im being smotherd. im actually happy to have time alone. I WANT TO BE ALONE. but maybe that cuz im used to it, cuz for as long as i can remember ive always been "alone" and maybe thats how i like it. so when i get a taste of the other side, it almost chokes me. its one of those things i just dont understand about myself. 031022 ... Imokay I know how you guys feel.. It's Valentines day, and I feel useless... No body to squeeze my bottled affection into, no one to hold, no one to comfort me. I wonder why I care.. Life isnt't that bad, I have a family, and shit, I guess I have a friend or two, but, Not anyone who will always be there, not anyone who can find the language that i speak. No one will ever get my interest and disgust in the modern world. 040213 ... Deomis I sat with them every day at lunch last year. Each week, I found my self sitting at the corner of the table, just listening. I say something out loud, but no one listens, and no one hears. I sat on my bed yesterday, during the middle of the four day weekend. No one ever came to my house, no one sent me and email or gave me a call. I didn't even get any damn spam mail. Four days. I sat in my room each and every day, just hoping for someone to call. No one called. Everyone at my friggin school has known each other for all of their lives. I try to be nice, to fit in, to be their friend, but I am always pushed back, because their friendship blocks me out. I fucking hate holidays. I hate Christmas I hate Thanksgiving I hate them all I hate being here (by myself again) and having to listen to myself think And when I think about why feel so alone, I realize the reason why. None of them are actually my friends. 040926 ... me 12 years later, my how times have changed. now when i'm home alone on a friday night, it's by choice and im perfectly happy (and usually excited for it). also, wow. was i really that lonely? memory is a funny thing. 140524 ... unhinged you asked me to show you who i am i did you ran is alone again 140525 what's it to you? who go blather from