get_out_of_my_head Effingham Fish "The tires are the things on your car that make contact with the road (repeat 4 or 5x) The car is the thing on the road that takes you back to your abode" ARGH 011118 ... Beckyu the questioning.. the disbelieving.. everything. 011118 ... Becky the questioning.. the disbelieving.. everything. 011118 ... phish used to be great i woke up one morning in september and I realized that I love you 011118 ... bloodjetpoetry blood-tinted muse. sylvia plath. stop haunting me, am i your possessor? 011119 ... littleidiot just leave me alone, goddamnit. the mistakes i made with you wont get_out_of_my_head. cant seem to forget you, or forgive myself, or let go even though i want to so badly. 031112 ... -.- wow. i am suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to kill effingham_fish. this urge will grow over the course of the day. not even brak can save me from that song. *sigh* might as well start mumbling to myself now... 031112 ... Fucked Up I want to 'get out of my head' beacause I am so fucking depressed, angry and feeling utterly dejected. FUCK MY LIFE. it is shit at the moment. 031112 ... whitechocolatewalrus the blue colored bruise upon your neck you said she wasn't your girlfriend you said you didn't care you said you liked me the blue colored bruise upon your neck lies lies lies who are you? what do you want? (the blue colored bruise upon your neck) what do you want from me? i asked "just friends" what is that blue colored bruise upon your neck? -um, nothing. lies. get the fuck out of my head you could have been honest lies friends lies bruise neck lies what do you want from me? get out of my head. 031210 ... notme n.ice flow walrus 031210 ... girl_jane fuck. 031211 ... x i'm not supposed to love you anymore 031211 ... brain stew unless you let me into yours, inscrutable eyes. 031211 ... girl_jane Last night-I drove half way back to school. Luke had been in Des Moines and ended up in Oskaloosa (sp?) and had a hotel room. So I stayed there with him. We didn't do anything. He surprised me with gummy bears and a card made out of a picture from TV Guide. We laid on our backs and looked at a map of Iowa and talked about what was where. He made cheesy jokes, and I laughed at them...I made a few of my own. He sat on my butt when I was drinking my Dr. Pepper from Wendy's. I quit drinking my Dr. Pepper from Wendy's when he started rubbing my back. When he was done he leaned over my head and drank some of my Dr. Pepper from Wendy's. It was an interesting view. We talked about things that had happened over the past week. A few "when I was little" stories came out, and a couple about other family members. We talked about how perverted my mind is and how I get that from my mom who got it from her mother. We talked and laughed about a lot of things while we had foot fights and held hands. And sometimes we didn't talk at all. Sometimes he kissed my collar bone or my stomach with his hands on my ribs or on my hips; I ran my hands and fingers around his back. Sometimes he just held me really really close-really tight-like he was trying to push me into him. He kissed my forehead. I don't remember the last time somebody kissed my forehead. This time-it was a little uncomfortable-but at the same time comforting. Sometimes I laid my head on his chest and watched his stomach move and listened to his heart beat while he moved his fingers soooo lightly on my back and neck. Sometimes I wanted to burst or just slowly burn to a pile of ash...sometimes a fire that would surround him. When we woke up this morning-we both thought it'd be fantastic if we could spend the entire day in bed-the same way we'd spent the entire night before in bed. He won't leave my head. Eric told me that for now I am. Morgan told me that as much as I can be right now, I am. I say I can't be. I say I thought I have been before. Before I even say it to myself inside my head-I'm going to be sure of it. 040328 ... girl_jane I forgot to mention the part when he kissed my jaw...for those of you who know that I can't stand to have my face touched...that's a *HUGE* step. 040328 ... floralieca So I can make something productive of my day. So I can meet new people without looking for you in them. So I can go on with my life without thinking what if I had... So I can look for an apartment without asking myself if it will be near enough for our friendship to go on. So I can stop wanting a friendship that isn't there anymore anyways. So I can stop only using people around me to forget you and really be there for them. So I can stop looking for answer from you here. So I can stop feeling sad and rejected when I don't get news from you. Would you just get the fuck out of my head please ? 040329 ... killrhythm please. just get out. the last thing i needed to do was fall for you all over again. lets hope i can stop this before it gets worse. although, objectively, youre not making it very hard for me to do so. 050531 ... sab and she breathed and whispered, aplified but still intimate ...i cant get you out of my head and a little chicken proved to us that the song makes not so much difference as that who sings it 050531 ... delial if you don't stop infiltrating my dreams, i'm going to bash myself in the head with a stack of records by the_smiths and tegan_and_sara ...goddamnit. 050601 ... ? What if the people in my head aren't my people? Maybe Im hearing your people? Maybe my people are seeing other people besides me? Maybe my people are your people too?!? so many questions and so few answers... 050601 ... cure the_kiss 050601 ... mytwohands or stay a while? i don't think i have a choice. i'll just submit to this until thet waves blow over and i can stand up tall again. 050601 ... stork daddy i wish you had a penis so i could show you how good that feels. wait...that came out wrong. 050601 ... why is stork daddy hilarious?!@?!?!?: hahahahhahahahahahah 050601 ... stork daddy mum punted me down the apples and pears 050601 ... hsg please_justay_in_my_heart. 071001 ... f you know you can't struggle against love, you can't try to be in love with someone and you can't try not to be. Morality does not really fit into it, you can't fight what your heart falls for or falls back from. This is where i actually start to question what morality actually means and whether we have got the understanding of morality wrong or if certain concepts are wrong. What i am saying is, you can not stop any kind of natural flow, you fall in love with someone but you are with someone else... what is the best thing to do? you could ignore it and hope that you forget, 2. you could have a secret affair, 3. you could tell the truth and try to keep all parties happy. I really don't know what is the best thing but i think betrayal actually means to lie and not to just be physical with someone else, afterall, if you ARE "in love" with someone else it most certainly can't just be something physical. Different people have different qualities, different pleasures, different humor, different connections, therefore it is not unnatural to come across different attractions. I don't see what is wrong with accepting the truth, not to say that the penguins have got it wrong, just that there is nothing wrong with loving or being in love with lots of people, physicality is just a small part of it and not wholly necessary anyhow. 071001 ... hsg love_does_not_stay_contained 071008 ... In_Bloom No. I will not go. You may go as you please but I'm in your blood You chose it, you took it so now you live it and learn to morph as I have 080823 what's it to you? who go blather from