what_i_want_to___have___but_can't Thyartshallshant My girlfriend in my arms. To be able to be with the one I love even though she's thousands of miles away. 010120 ... birdmad completion as opposed to satiety 010121 ... sabbie ice cream. we ran out last night and i forgot to buy more today. godsdamnit. there's only a banana left, and half a can of baked beans - neither of which will forfill my icecream craving in any substantial way. 010225 ... nocturnal the motivation to actually work and do things well. I believe the ability is there, but the evidence to prove it is not. I guess what I really want to have but can't is some definite focus in my life. 010226 ... stark a mind i will never have wish it wasnt so though 010227 ... silentbob once...just once that really means it that time...where i'm not immediately pinned in the friend zone. and if i am, just once, once where they take me out of it. 010227 ... Aimee Bob, I totally agree... it's not fun to be the eternal friend, and I'm put there everytime I meet someone. I just keep hoping that someday I'll meet someone who won't categorize me until they really know me. 010227 ... j_blue thats the problem with the whole friends and no incest rule its hard to find someone willing to commit incest, which is funny, because the only people i tend to know well enough to be attracted to are my friends 010227 ... unhinged him "we could be so happy baby if we only wanted to be..." jeff_buckley 010227 ... Dafremen ...to gently cup my left elbow in the palm of my left hand...sigh...to dream the impossible dream. 010227 ... dB Want... hah! I to be able to feel. Emotion is something I lost the ability to do long ago. Have. Or have not. There is no want. 010227 ... Dafremen Emotion is overrated. Feeling leads to pain and hurt. Consider yourself fortunate Db, I do. I don't want to ever again. I instead prefer to feign it and by so doing provide some measure of comfort to those who care for me. 010227 ... unhinged lying to the people that care about you is worse than telling them to get out while they still can. 010227 ... nocturnal I want to live like Dafreman. At the same time I want to not be the kind of person who wants to live like that. I am though, always have been. I can evoke some emotion sometimes when I feel it would be wrong not to, but a lot of the time it is sadly plastic, thin plastic that soon melts away to uncover the cold stone beneath it. Sometimes I start to dwell on all the failures that make up the majority of my life and I start to feel sorry for myself and depressed, the only true emotion I experience on a regular basis, often coupled with anger and/or hate. These are the emotions to which I want to numb myself. but I can't. 010227 ... Dafremen It takes careful breeding and the correct grooming to become as aware of and as completely in control of one's emotions as I have become, nocturnal. For some insight into what I mean, please read: People Painful Sister Children Love Computer Daddy Dad These are tried and proven ways to lose those extra emotions, and keep them off for good. Keep only the emotions you want, cancel at any time. 010228 ... di_bear DO I HAVE TO HATE? NOW I DO. I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE i hate i iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, just don't know a thing. I I I I I I BUT I don't hate, butt i do but i don't Yes I FUCKING HATE YOU NOW. LATE IS FISH BATE. AND THEREFORE I HAVE TO HATE. HATE HATE HATE I JUST HATE HATS WHEN IT'S NOT SUNNY. I HATE YOU. THANKS AND GOOD NIGHT. I'M johnathan ROSS AND THANKS FOR COMING in not quite the way i expected. 010420 ... lost meaning, love, insight, passion, sanity, I almost wish i could feel nothing so i wouldnt get hurt, then i realize how lonely i would be with out the feeling of pain. 010420 ... yummychuckle the silly penguin hater (load up on o i too have an impossible dream, dafremen. only mine is to open my mouth and nibble softly at my own ear. someday....someday. and bein a bit more serious... well right off the bat i thought (insert name of the guy people seem to think I'm obsessed with here). but then of course this all leads to happiness. as does everyones want but cant get. because, most likely, what you want is what you think will bring you happiness. duh, its kinda understood without being drawn out like i have drawn it out...so anyways... yeah i'd say happiness, but i am hapy. damn happy. like jumping up and down (and considering putting on a sports bra before something goes terribly awry) and smiling so big i cant see anymore happy. why? cus i'm leavig this rock, going to maryland, and seeing all my friends...including (insert guy i am regrettably admitting i am obsessed with here)!!!!! yay! so what do i want but cant have? at the moment it seems like a health body image, but i knw that it isn't impossible. i can get there. so what..dammit... aha! laser vision. hell yeah baby. 010606 ... florescent light a pretty face 010607 ... Aimee I want my boyfriend's heart to be entirely devoted to me 010607 ... florescent light you to hold me tight while telling me how much you care, and saying how you didn't mean to hurt me, and would never want to again because I mean too much to you. 010716 ... . : * p s y b o r g * : . three words: Justin and Tyler. Tyler has a girlfriend. Justin just doesn't like me. I don't know, though, he's been acting like he likes me lately. He'd probably still say no if I asked him to dance. 011101 ... . : * p s y b o r g * : . Oh yeah, and my life would be a lot easier if I was good at math. 011101 ... silentbob a one way ticket to rochester 011101 ... endless desire ((two)) one way ticket to freakin vancouver and i seriously mean one way. 030611 ... DavesHeroinGirl A special machine that I can step into and push a shiny red button and "poof!" I'd be transported to Milwaukee. And then, I could step back in whenever I wanted and come back home. I'd probably keep it in my closet and it'd be surrounded by shoes and purses. Eventually though, I bet I wouldn't need it. 030611 ... /anon motivation and initiative. to understand and comprehend my own thoughts and feelings. some pot (wait i can have that) the ability to talk to people and not be so damn quiet and shy. but i'm no good. i'm worthless 030612 ... Death of a Rose woman 031019 ... who i am doesnt matter anymore a whole day spent in bed watching nightmare before christmas over and over and over and over and over and over and over. 060224 what's it to you? who go blather from