ask_hsg zeke do you consider what you do here to be a form of preaching? 100108 ... hsg No, I write. Mostly it's for myself and to clarify my thoughts. I notice most people think I'm talking to them or someone is writing for them. I'm talking to Blather, if anyone at all. I'm not out to convince but to reflect. When I pose an idea it is just that: an idea (or maybe a construct!). In my world to say A is so does not mean B is not. Often I see people pose a view or opinion (And I mean just that. I don't confine that to this site) and others somehow react as if their whole world is threatened. These writings are for clarification in myself, for reflection, for exploration. I'm not looking for someone's approval or praise or attack. I find it amusing that those seem to be the few possibilities that enter some people's minds sometimes. So I laugh. And I'm grateful. And wordplay. I enjoy it. this_is_blather It is for words. It has a neat personality. Interaction with others- I enjoy it. Discussion, feedback- These are fine and well. They are not my motive. Am I out to save_your_soul? Just my own. What I'm finding is that people's judgments are only reflecting their own disposition, their premise, assumptions about life and where I must be coming from because that's the only world they know. It's like: "How dids you figure that out? You must have cheated." "How dids you get those muscles? You must be shooting up." "How comes you talk fast? You must be on drugs." "How comes you say that? You must be talking about me." One thing that seems to pop_up is this: i_am_expressive sometimes_impolite for_the_sake_of_clarity sometimes i strike_a_nerve with some people. A lot of people like me and a few seem very thrown off by my (I'm not referring to blather). I noticed that people who outright hate me would rather not live if they thought they had a choice? Why do I think this? Because they don't play. They act like a cross between a zombie and a leaf being blown in the wind with no say of their own of any original direction to go. Sometimes I will write something i_don't_care and it's written for the sake of itself.. not because it is actually my opinion but because I thought it would look good on blather or because I felt a discussion would be useful. I like what I write and that matters to me. If someone else does not they don't have to read it. freedom_just_a_click_away Zeke, do you feel I'm trying to change you? 100108 ... hsg something *like* i_don't_care 100108 ... zeke i did not know if you were trying to convince, that is why i asked. many of your blathes are couched as assertions that border on exhortations, or are posed as questions which seem to cajole. it makes a lot of sense to me that i am being exposed to an inner dialog. because many of your statements are imperative, i was not sure if you were speaking to us, the eavesdroppers. commands tend to sound preachy, especially ones that are concerned with the nature of reality. i'm glad i asked. thank you for allowing us to overhear your inner voice. 100108 ... () ( in my first paragraph i should have said "...half of an inner dialog." ) 100108 ... hsg i'm learning from this. this is good. i, z, you have tact in that you posed the question fairly, objectively. it wasn't an accusation nor were you defensive (which use to be a problem for me). how do i become more clear on asking a question that isn't... tainted...? i have trouble with that. 100108 ... () ( regarding interrogative syntax, knowing that you are posing questions to yourself fixes any misapprehensions that i might have had. i don't see any taint. without this clarification i was unsure. short of disclaiming before or after every blathe (and that would be truly awful) i don't think it is fixable. i suspect that others might be similarly uncertain about your intentions. i don't see that as a problem, however. in my case, it was just curiosity which led me to ask. ) 100108 ... lunatic jesus You're kind of prolific, aren't you? 100108 ... lunatic jesus I think I love you But I wanna know for sure... 100119 ... hsg I'm reading this again, z. I think I understand now that when someone writes something other people usually take it as somehow personally. I don't mean personally as how that word is usually used.. as an attack per_se. What I think I'm finding is that I look at things exceedingly impersonally. I am quite literal in some respects. This is also clarifying to me in that it explains why I don't seem to get "hints" that most people seem to get. I deny assumption. And it's not that I don't do it just that I'm preoccupied with trying not to. Upon further reflection it seems that I might be writing in a way that begs people to not assume the norm and consider other assumptions. It isn't my opinion that either assumption is correct or even that correctness is even relevant! I think I do have an agenda but still I maintain that the writings I make are primarily for me on which to reflect. I'm edging at something here and not quite sure at_the_moment what that is. It seems like I want to create art which demands a reconsideration_of_assumptions. Imposition of a particular truth doesn't seem to matter. I am interested that a way can be questioned and again the original_ground be refound repeatedly. The subject matter seems to be irrelevant. By manipulation of syntax I want to see if it can be used as it's own communication tool. It's the where_at - wh_at instead of just the _what_ we're at_tuned to that inter_rests me. 100120 ... hsg on_demanding i_do want the art itself to demand reconsideration in the audience both in the immediate display and whatever might be translatable to life. i_do_not want however to demand that my art is looked at in the first place. A strictly voluntary_audience is expected if at all. 100120 ... () ( in my teens, i used to repeat sentences that were spoken to me in random word order. i was trying to gain an intuitive understanding of the relationship between grammar and syntax. i did it for years. during that time, i learned a lot about english, discovered that my thoughts were not in spoken form, and settled on my poetic voice. ) 100121 ... hsg until these past 4-5 years, ever since i could remember whenever words are spoken (even if we were in the middle of a conversation and there was eye_contact) i would see each word as i heard it written clearly in white chalk on a blackboard. i_thought_i_was_supposed_to doesn't_everybody ? at first i thought everyone did.. i_mean how else would you know what someone's saying? it has served to make me a good speller 'cept that most people don't use big_words in everyday_life even if they do have a higher_vocabulary. took me a long time to realize that most people just don't do that kinda thing. 100122 ... Ouoroboros what's going on? 100202 ... hsg eating lentils. staring in awe at the immensity of urban_dictionary 100203 ... Ouroboros what did you eat today? what did you dream about today? 110413 ... h|s|g pizza_now + red_wine earlier: rawganic olive oil cookedganic beans + OReGANo IC day oldiscounted bread from the org, an i_c crazy_local small_planet_bakery (i offered to deliver their breads_by_bike Buthey already had it covered)-: salt kelp coffee, fair_trade or ganic or_whatever from sunflower_market + norganicreamer from trader_joes 110413 ... h|s|g dreamt about STILL trying to graduate from the naval_academy_preparatory_school which i attended for eight months in 1999... these dreams have been going on for 11 years now. second tome this week, at least a few dreams per month... ive calculated that ive spent nearly as much time in REM sleep trying to resolve this emotional issue than have spent at the place in newport_ri post_dramatic_mess_disorder not looking forward to the dreams which are bound to follow accidentally dating or what appears to be having had fornication_under_consent_of_king / queen - the great^16th granddaughter of queen elizabeth. 110413 ... h|s|g *time 110414 ... ofsuch I went to blather for the first time in awhile, and clicked on recent blathers. funny enough, this was here. here is my question for hsg: how are you? 110414 ... h|s|g im okayish, ofsuch.. we should chat.. email yahoomail :-) 110415 ... lev hey_hsg 110725 ... Ouroboros now that i'm taking gluten and sugar out of my diet (as a 28th bday present to myself)- what tips do you have in keeping myself in line/happy about my commitment to health? 110725 ... h|s|g reaffirm why you're doing it. or clarify. 110727 ... h|s|g You asked a wise question as opposed to something along the lines of just making it easier. What I've read and has helped me was the way someone put it (paraphrase) "love_yourself because if you truly do than you will only do things that support that." If you truly love yourself you will not abuse yourself. If you do not (or others) you cannot help but to abuse yourself (and others). consider_the_source Focus your work on that. Honesty appears as leverage but distraction is just leverage against. 110727 ... Ouroboros yes, thank you. coming from a place of self love will keep everything framed with love... 110727 ... h|s|g love_wins 111105 ... flowerock will you wake me up with cuddles every morning please? and can you forgive my puppy for eating the fire wood? 140202 ... ɓsɥ thank_you_for_holding your_call_is_very_important_to_us it_will_be_answered_in_the_order_in_which_it_was_received __minus_ten_minutes_for_each_incident_of_profanity_used_while_you_were_on_hold yes_we_can_hear_you it_may_feel_like_ten_years_but_it's_really_126_months may_i_have_your_37_digit_customer_convenience_number_please? 200723 ... ɓsɥ Edit: 116 months 200723 ... Make sure everything is RA hi Make sure everything is RA hi 200723 what's it to you? who go blather from