hey_hsg unhinged i was at a dharma talk tonight called awakened_heart and it reminded me of you. the teacher is the head of the shambhala prison community, bringing meditation into prisons around the world. i couldn't help thinking of you. i think you would have liked it. 091030 ... hsg We seem to be in a pris(m)on of limited_identity. "Kabir says: Student, tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath." - wherever_you_go_there_you_are (at page 20) I read that earlier today. animation's_witness wit ness There's something beautiful about an endless_book_of_paintings where everything's solidified yet you turn a page, focus on a character and for a moment can live through that character. You no longer see the book but just that page and only through your I's. I'sn't it interesting though how we go through the pages from any point_of_you and eventually find the book again? Dive_in_it's_Divine Ther e nd less on sparkalls, facets and glimmers o'fly to see. I've found.... sometimes other characters in the_books leave trails so you can find yourself, your way back, teaching, lessoning the hardship in the end I've found sometimes you are that person. It's a lot more work and the moment you forget.. well then that's just where you're at and that's okay, too. But the work is different. In the first example the work is easy but we are reluctant to do it with all our heart. In the second we do it becomes play! That is our whole art. But what if you found it again? The book. And you felt well rested. You're no longer in those characters only Unafraid because HERE you seeN hOW they never died.. just frozen in time. Would you lay your head on a pillow with the book tucked under it and work all night in your dreams to make it a better book? I ask because.. if you forget, if you lose your lucidity you have to earn it back... and it could be many, many lifetimes, more in fact than days in each lifetime. But, you do know in this moment that you find your way back no matter what the story is or who you are. (-: The math behind why th IS complicated but it is SOUND:-) Now by better book I mean allowing a more fun story to be made more readILY available to each of the characters... It's like humor.. and it allows you to find your way back without unnecessary suffering. It seems though like an_inverse_catch_22 because it's a wIN_wIN_IN_the_end If you succeed in remembering_who_you_are then you maintain_lucidity into, during, and out of the entire lucid_dream. Also, the dream becomes a little nicer for the characters.. more artsier, more fun and brilliant, too. If you forget then... swim_back.. crawl, fly... it's up to you, really. But the thing is this: you're gonna get it right some of the time.. and that makes it easier for you when you don't.. which leads you to get it right even more and again easier. As_a_result what I half_found is that we_forget_who_we_are when we're_afraid_to_help_others and the other half is that we dream_lightly (carefully attending our journey) when we are kind. Even without trails to follow, hopeless, feeling alone and desperate.. If you clarify your heart that is all that is needed to find your way back. anger.. fear.. greed is prison. Are there bars on your heart? 091030 ... hsg To clarify: your willingness to work.. to play_onwards .. to make it a better time for the characters... that IS what keeps you lucid. The reluctance to play that way is what causes us to be stuck in the story. So this choice is clarifying your heart. If you are truly clear on who you are you realize your true identity is literally Kindness. When you practice kindness you are awake the whole time. 091030 ... In_Bloom So insomnia is evolving me, distilling me? 091030 ... hsg Maybe, are you in an exceptionally bright and cheerful mood after several days of total_sleep_deprivation? 091031 ... In_Bloom No, unfortunately insomnia doesn't bring me euphoria, quite the opposite 091031 ... hsg As to the distilling, it's closer to complacency_deprivation We could look at complacency as a different type of sleep. In dream or awake we could attend what's around us. It will be different in just a moment. Juggle what we have at any given moment... ready at any given moment to adhere to different rules. What we knew once doesn't have to be our only reference. come_play_sense_see 091031 ... . , 091220 ... unhinged at my shambhala training level this weekend, one of the teachers kept reminding us to smile, have a sense of humor during our meditation instead of being so serious and beating ourselves up over not being 'good' meditators. that reminded me of you. then the other teacher told us the story of the children's day celebration, which is kinda like shambhala christmas or winter_solstice celebration. the legend of children's day is that the prince and princess of shambhala noticed all the adults were so serious and sucked into their roles and duties of life and they asked their parents the king and queen why everyone was so pent_up and the king and queen noticed the prince and princess were right so they threw a big party for the kingdom so that everyone would chill out. that also made me think of you. 110117 ... h|s|g sweeeeeet i've been doing innerfool_training 110117 ... unhinged how are you feeling? 110117 ... h I s I g I hurt. poor_me boo_hoo oh my aching side... wahhh I will make fun of this pain or more accurately, my seriousness about the pain. My spirit will bitch_slap my depression and I will march on. 'sides, I got some important fooling around to do. 110118 ... h|s|g 14 months.. i'm about over this injury riding_it_out 120210 ... love i'm_still_around 221001 what's it to you? who go blather from