wants to know where do you come from?


:::::::dying of curiosity:::::::
farmfish i come from several places. california.
france. italy. spain. costa rica. central africa. pennsylvania. i spent several months or even a few years in these places. as of the moment, i am in oxford, england for a few days.
ClairE Dude, can I ever expect to be happy? 011205
wants to know more where is your permanent living space, though? .....or are you a vagabond? 011205
farmfish i don't have a "permanent living space."
i left my original family when i graduated high school and have just been visting with friends ever since all over the fucking world. i usually pick up some kind of work to pay my share, you know, meet the responsibility. i always have a cool pad somewhere. today i woke up in flat just off the university at oxford. maris went to sleep wearing my shirt.
farmfish hey ClairE, yes, you can expect to be happy. i like you a lot, your writing is very cool. now you're happy. 011206
ClairE Wow, thanks.

I AM almost happy; I am almost done with this paper I've been working on for way too long.

Thanks, dude.
girl_jane What.When.Who.Why.How.are you? 020730
sabbie darling farmfish

why are some days
so much harder than others?

why does the river dry up some days?

how can the sun be out and my head is still in this darkness?

why isnt the caffine helping?

why does my head feel kinda dizzy from this building rage?

bollx being prisoner in my own head.
ive always hated that.
how come _i_ dont always get to sit in the captians seat with all the blinking lights and the navigators screen?

whose fucking autopilot is this anyway?
burden who let the dogs out?

why are there so many songs about rainbows?

why can't I be making love come true?

could it be we've done something wrong?

who's got the herb?
farmfish "why are some days so much harder than others?"

there seems to be this train that stops by to pick us up every morning, i guess it could be a two seater bike, even. and if we fail to board, well thee day is fucked.

"why does the river dry up some days?"

we always have to check thee source. everybody needs to rest. a lack of water usually signifies a time to change.

dry riverbeds reveal all kinds of interesting things. i found a wooden mickey mouse once and cleaned it up. now it is a sign for my puppet theatre.
farmfish "how can the sun be out and my head is still in this darkness?"

you are still asleep. i always wake before thee sun, that way when she gets up i have thee coffee already on, she's got no hands to pour.

"why isn't the caffeine helping?"

double espresso is what farmfishes drink.

"why does my head feel kinda dizzy from this building rage?"

because thee rage wants out. your head is not a prison, it is a waiting room. and when thee nurse calls for rage, she needs to stand up and go see thee doctor.

"how come i don't always get to sit in the captain's seat with all the blinking lights and the navigator's screen?"

because it's someone else's turn.
be fair or they will stop coming to your door and asking you to come out and play.

"whose fucking autopilot is this anyway?"

it's just a button someone pushed. you can turn it back to manual, but thee bugger is hard to find. check thee manual. you do have one still, don't you?
farmfish "who let the dogs out?"

i did. they hate to be in thee crate for too long. baby roo is an aussie and if he isn't chasing cats then his day is ruined. we got a new black sheep that he is simply dying to herd.

"why are there so many songs about rainbows?"

because they are so rare and beautiful.
rainbows are thee clearest evidence that we all need to give surprises to each other.


"why can't i be making love come true?"

love is true and it will make you.

"could it be we've done something wrong?"

sure. but everybody makes mistakes. look for thee forgiveness. it will be there, eventually. and then try again.

"who's got the herb?"

not me. but it's not hard to find. but don't smoke often. take a long break, thee longer thee better.
girl_jane Why did you answer everybody's question but mine? 020901
Tildan What is soilant green made of, really? 020901
farmfish hello sondra. i remember sendin' thee blather red book to you. i didn't intentionally forget to answer your question. i don't know what happened, seems i stumbled over it. like i didn't be seein' it.


the word *what* to me is like this exclamation i remember some rabbit in a redwall book be sayin' over and over. as if he was always amazed at his world. that's pretty much how i hope i can be doin' things. be seein' 'em for thee first time. because tomorrow i'll be different, never again thee person i was bein' today. something inside will be burned up and vanished. something will make an exit. door open. door closed.
i want to look at my world and go, "what!" and then i want to ask questions, write shit down, draw, paint, take a foto, dance, sing...


now, i guess. life is bein' short. i always want to be makin' thee most of every moment.


you, and all others. i think we need to be livin' for those who somehow be makin' appearances into our lives. give 'em what we have inside. do thee special things beyond thee expected. like make cards instead of just be buyin' 'em. anywho can go to walmart or even barnes and noble and slap down three bucks, but who will sit at an art table for two hours and create one from nothing? hopefully me and you.


because of love. you have to love. what other reason is there? if you don't love people or what you do, is there a purpose?

"how are you?"

i'm bein' good.
oblvion is dead. long live clarity.
how are you?
farmfish hey tildan. soylent green is a film made back in the 7o's? thee stuff consisted of humans i think.

but actually it was probably marshmallows dyed green.
Tildan its PEOPLE!

girl_jane I am feeling absolutely beautiful this evening, thanks. 020902
what's it to you?
who go