a_file_of_a_boy nonlucid i used to keep a text file in the depths of my home directory, about a boy a collection of lyrics, of feelings, of rewritten lines from songs to reflect how i felt quotations from conversations variations on I hate you and I love you and I cannot live without you and please save me or leave me alone and ten things i hate about you and -1 by mudvayne iris by the goo goo dolls, and hanging by a moment by lifehouse i hate everything about you, three days grace because he changed me, and that was the best way I could express it i compressed it in two different formats, and put it on my desktop disguised as a mp3 file i almost sent it to him once, along with a long explanation of how I felt, and saying that "Losing my Religion" by REM was something he should listen to, because that was how I felt about telling him and a link to blather, but I didn't it got accidentally deleted sometime, I don't know when but it was, in an angsty way, perhaps beautiful 050801 ... mudvayne - -1 Come on youweretheone youweretheone, To dredge up shit inside of me in my pointless life of nothing Tell me what I'm supposed to be Tell me who I'm supposed to be Tell me what it takes to ascend Tell me what it takes to live Patience, pleasures and rewards, come in due time stare at the sun I'm bored in a life meaningless soaking up all of me like the cross you worship life is loss look at me I'm sure that some day we'll wake up I'm sure that some day we'll wake from the dream Of success and focus...tunneling to the light glowing deep inside of me your taunting I wake up Come on youweretheone youweretheone, To dredge up shit inside of me in my pointless life of nothing Tell me what I'm supposed to be Tell me who I'm supposed to be Tell me what it takes to ascend Tell me what it takes to live Tell me nOW! Tell me nOW! Pain misery distress dismal know where depressed idiot failure In me......calling......loser......man I'm the Loser......loser.....loser......in me......who I am....in me.... Don't feel sorry don't feel sorry for me Don't need your sympathy or empathy, don't need your sympathy inside of me, Don't need your sympathy or empathy, don't need your sympathy inside of me, Don't feel sorry don't feel sorry for me Come on I know youweretheone youweretheone Numb to feelings inside of me why I've seized my vision Don't need you to tell me who to be Don't need you to tell me what to be Don't need you to tell me how to ascend Don't need you to tell me how to live 050801 ... lifehouse - hanging by a moment Starving for truth I'm closer to where I started Chasing after you I'm falling even more in love with you Letting go of all I've held onto I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you Forgetting all I'm lacking Completely incomplete I'll take your invitation You take all of me now... I'm falling even more in love with you Letting go of all I've held onto I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you I'm living for the only thing I know I'm running and not quite sure where to go And I don't know what I'm diving into Just hanging by a moment here with you 050801 ... goo goo dolls - iris And I'd give up forever to touch you Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't want to go home right now And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life Cause sooner or later it's over I just don't want to miss you tonight And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming Or the moment of truth in your lies When everything seems like the movies Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am 050801 ... three days grace Only when I stop to think about it I hate everything about you Why do I love you I hate everything about you Why do I love you 050801 ... ten things i hate about you I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare I hate your big dumb combat boots. And the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick-- it even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh -- even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that you didnt call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you -- not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. 050801 ... rem - losing my religion Life is bigger It's bigger than you And you are not me The lengths that I will go to The distance in your eyes Oh no I've said too much I set it up That's me in the corner That's me in the spotlight Losing my religion Trying to keep up with you And I don't know if I can do it Oh no I've said too much I haven't said enough I thought that I heard you laughing I thought that I heard you sing I think I thought I saw you try Every whisper Of every waking hour I'm Choosing my confessions Trying to keep an eye on you Like a hurt lost and blinded fool Oh no I've said too much I set it up Consider this The hint of the century Consider this The slip that brought me To my knees failed What if all these fantasies Come flailing around Now I've said too much I thought that I heard you laughing I thought that I heard you sing I think I thought I saw you try But that was just a dream That was just a dream 050801 ... nonlucid this_is_how_i_feel_about_you 050801 ... indigo girls - romeo and juliet A love struck romeo Sings the streets a serenade Now he's laying everybody low He's got a love song that he made He finds a streetlight And he steps out of the shade And says something like You and me, babe, how about it? Juliet says hey, it's romeo! You nearly give me a heart attack! Yeah well, he's underneath the window Now she's singing hey-la, my boyfriend's back You shouldn't come around here Singing up at people like that Ah anyway, whatcha gonna do about it? Juliet The dice were loaded from the start And I bet and you exploded into my heart And I forget, I forget the movie song When you gonna realize It was just that the time was wrong Julie We both come up on different streets And they both were streets of shame You know they're both dirty both mean Yes and the dreams were the same And I dreamed your dream for you And now your dream is real So tell me honey Now how can you look at me As if I was just another one of your deals Now you can fall for chains of silver And you can fall for chains of gold You know you fall for pretty strangers And the promises they hold Well you promised me everything And then you promised me thick and thin Now you just turn away and say Romeo, I think I used to have a scene with him. Ah juliet When we made love you used to cry You said I love you like the stars above Gonna love you till I die There's a place for us I you know this song Now when you gonna realize It was just that the time was wrong Julie But I can't do the talks like they talk on my tv screen I can't do a love song not the way you song them to me I can't do everything but I would do anything for you Oh no I can't do anything except be in love with you Yeah now and all I do is miss you And the way it used to be you know And all I do is keep the beat I keep bad, bad company And all I do is kiss you Through the bars of this rhyme When julie I'd do the stars with you Anytime Ah juliet When we made love you used to cry You said I love you like the stars above I'm gonna love you till I die There's a place for us I know you know the movie song One day we're gonna realize It was just that the time was wrong Julie Julie Julie Now this love struck romeo He sings the streets a serenade Now he's laying everybody low He's got a love song he made He finds a convenient streetlight And he'll step out of the shade And he'll say something like You and me, babe, how 'bout it? 050804 what's it to you? who go blather from