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blurring_the_edges_11_backsliding_in_all_direction
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birdmad
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From the end of February until the beginning of summer, you go out with Elena on more than a few occasions.
You do your damndest to summon up the courage to tell her what you're feeling, but it seems not only as if she already knows, but you are getting the feeling that she's sidestepping you everytime you think you have found the right time and place to say what's on your mind.
She's good, quite sharp to say the least and of course, you don't quite grasp how obvious you are about it all. There is one thing bothering you, though... she's backed out on you a couple of times again and she'll be heading back to San Jose to spend her birthday with her parents.
You're caught in a tricky little balance here.
If you say anything about what you suspect, you'll be getting ahead of yourself and likely ruin any chance you have with her. If you don't say anything, and you're suspicions turn out true, you are being used. If you say anything in spite of it all and turn out to be right, than you're gonna feel like shit.
So right now, Alex, it looks like your best bet where matters between Elena and Orlando lie, is to sit down, shut the fuck up about it and hope that things turn out okay. Well, that and to tell her you love her, already.
Seriously, not even that extra boost of opiate calm you inhale every now and then seems to be doing you any good.
You get your nerve up and decide to ask her out for tomorrow night, you have landed a straight job on the tenth floor of a highrise on Central Avenue with a nice southward view of downtown. You are on your break and you decide to call her since you know she's just home from work and has tomorrow off from work and school.
Dialing the number, you start rehearsing what you will say in your head, but it scatters away like buckshot when Orlando answers the phone.
Without missing a beat, you simply say "What, this isn't Pizza Hut? I'm sorry, i guess i have the wrong number."
You hang up and run all the way down the stairs from the tenth floor, you look around at the late afternoon traffic moving around Central and ponder walking away as far as your feet will carry you.
Smoking another of your cigarettes, you settle down a little bit and go inside, using the payphone in the lobby to call Eric and make arrangements for your next batch, this time you want two full packs doctored up for you with twice the dose in each one.
Eric doesn't seem surprised at all by this and meets the request rather easily, having already received enough cash from you to keep your tab current.
Breaking four months of avoidance, you also have Eric pass the word to Greg and Tony that your services are once again readily available as of this weekend.
When your shift is over at 9:30 that night, Zoe is in the parking garage with word from Greg and Jimmy Hales that there's something for you to do sooner than later.
"Oh come on," you tell her, only slightly protesting the summons. "I said on the weekend, it's barely Wednesday."
"True enough, but somebody made Tony an offer and he's rounding up some of the deadbeats to pay up so that he can swing it a little easier."
You're feeling agressive, so it sounds like fun.
You pull into the Circle K down Central on Virginia, call the house and tell your mom that you and some of the others from the office are going to the 24 hour diner over on the eastside and will probably be very late getting home.
You wonder if it's ever occurred to her just what kinds of shit you get yourself into when you are out of the house.
Zoe puts her hand on your leg as you drive to the Apartment that Greg keeps for stashing shit and occasionally hiding out.
You can guess that if Tony has called you in, you will be talking more with your hands than with your mouth and as a result, you chance into a set of the clothes you keep stashed in one of the closets.
Pulling out of the driveway, you pass by Tower Plaza and ponder what CD's you might buy with the extra cash you willhave in hand.
Zoe laughs that you look like a Mormon missionary in need of a bicycle in your plain black suit with your cheap white shirt and plain black tie to match. It's a bit of a cliché, you admit, but it works wonders at getting the point across to people that when the big man in the plain suit comes knocking that it is indeed time to pay the piper.
By the time it's all done, you have collected five thousand from some coke-fiend in a ridiculously nice apartment over by the Biltmore.
The snowman only owed 3500, but he convinced you that it was worth your while not to have to use your considerable powers of persuasion on him, so you walked out with 1500 to put in your own pocket plus the 300 that Tony will pay you as "commission" for your handiwork.
Making your way into Scottsdale to Tony's house, you hand him the thirty-five-hundred from which he peels off 300 to hand back to you.
Zoe, who has been largely silent through the evening's fun suggests heading back to the apartment.
Even though you feel as if your heart has been cut off at it's proverbial knees, your other functions are still operational.
It is two in the morning when you decide to go home.
As you are stepping into the car, you are startled almost to the point of shitting yourself when of all the people besides Orlando who could kill your moment of afterglow, Tripod Billy is standing right next to your car door.
"Henry says to consider this an olive branch," Billy says as he hands you a greeting card sized envelope. You open the envelope and there is a guest pass to the new Firebird Country Club out by Henry Ash's house.
The note reads:
I WANT TO TALK BUSINESS, MEET ME AT THE CLUBHOUSE 7:15 SATURDAY MORNING
You start to think that maybe the rabbit hole has just gotten a little deeper.
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030414
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bird
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well, that's fucked up, this whole chapter disappeared
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030414
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bird kicking himself in the head
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okay, it's back now, never mind.
weird, i couldn't see anything but the header after i wrote it.
grr.
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030414
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birdbrain
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you seem to take alot of time to write things that no one will ever care about. that takes courage my friend.
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030414
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grendel
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it's sort of an online novel. Much of it is based on my own experiences, true, but some of it, both to help it make sense and to insulate some parts of the story is fiction.
The strangest parts re yet to come.
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030414
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Xeneth Sparda
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Hey, I love BTE! And I took alot of time to write the 3 Chapters of Alternating_State, but to this day not a 1 even knows it exists (Even though it sucks ass.)! That was a 3rd of the reason I stopped, and just when it was going to get good... Well it'd probly still suck but the time it was based on was going to finaly be unknown and Phangoth would finaly be given more significants because it was going to be based there and it was when it would no longer confine so much to the LoK Series.
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041206
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what's it to you?
who
go
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blather
from
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