pete there are chapter's i cannot bring myself to read. they're the ones where i know what will happen and how it will make me feel, and it hurts to put the book down but it would hurt to keep going. i don't want to cry when i'm reading, or get nightmares from it.

the last time i put a book down was before the suicide of a young-ish boy in Hart's Hope by Orson Scott Card... by killing himself he'll release the magic that can crush the evil witch who rules the kingdom, and revive himself, but i can't read the chapter and i can't skip it. the book is so fairytalish but complex. i want to finish it, but i can't. that was at least 5 months ago.

now i feel like i'm coming on that kind of block again. brian herbert's prequels to dune are full of the traps. suicide, seperation, death, tragedy, all staring me in the face, a bit too raw. juxtaposing two lover's stories, where one is enslaved and the other thinking his fiancee dead has just married her sister... it freezes my mind, but i'll be able to get through this one.. i want to know why the atredies hate the harkonkens (and visa versa)..

most of all i fear putting myself in the position of these characters. especially the boy.
what's it to you?
who go