the_pain
Raina sometimes, it's the only thing that keeps me going. 000929
...
daxle need something to take away the pain
need something to take away the pain
need something to take away the pain
left my knife at home
nail scissors?
need alcohol
need opium
need something to take away the pain
cannot function
cannot deal
cannot get past this
I need something
I
I
something to take away the pain
010117
...
Moondance is not being able to have you. 011107
...
nomme of not feeling
my cowardly lion reasons
030819
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Lee There was a deep hurt within her. A deep hurt that meant she was on the run. Normally running is freedom-- but tonight it felt like confinement. 040307
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ethereal I read your name.

And my throat caught in itself.

I knew it couldn't be my once Lee.

But you sounded so similar.

It scared me.
040307
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notme in my shoulder is getting worse 040425
...
Mahayana I hate how the more you love, the more likely it is that you will get hurt. You are the only woman to have ever made me cry and simultaneously be reminiscent of just how exceedingly powerful this connection between us is.

Id like to think that i knew you; that i affected you and that you let me into your little world that you don't let anyone into. Id like to think that when you said i was your everything -- it was some sort of sacred spiritual union between us ... even if everything means both the bad and good -- it means that i was "yours" ... since your everything has the word your in it. But looking back, i don't know how much of it was real all that you felt for me. Memories can get so distorted and hopes so high.

I know that no-one could ever make me feel the way you did/do. I couldn't hate you, i never could, i could never.

You were never mine, but you were. You were my everything, i thought the fucking world of you and im afraid ill come up as i always do with every woman ive ever taken the chance to love -- not good enough. Do you even remember all the nights we talked until early am hours when i hung upon every word you said and every word that you didnt say? Or the times we were together when no words needed to be exchanged?
Was it ever a lie when you said i was your best friend and your lover, your life-wife? Do i even care if it was a lie -- for it wouldnt change anything at all deep within me?

You are like no one else i have ever met, you are extraordinary. You made me feel so real and important. I am a better person because of you, and no one can take that away from me.

I love you more than you'll ever know, but im afraid youll never get to remain in the knowing as time slips by and makes you forget.

[who was it again that i was to you?]
040426
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6am "Cheers to the wound that never heals the more you push the more it feels" 040427
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puredream is yours. 040613
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uow my shoulder still hurts
and i'm thinking of chopping my head off
040823
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pete i hurt myself today
to see if i could still feel
i focus on the pain
the only thing thats real...

-johnny cash
040823
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uow hurt - trent reznor, NIN
cash's version is beautiful.
040823
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pete its not his original? ahh.. thanks for applying the right credit... like many songs, im sure i only know covers of them 040823
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unhinged madama_butterfly

so achingly beautiful. and i know why i smoked five bowls before opening night. my tolerance back then so high and so low. and i remember how much i felt like butterfly. young and deceived and waiting. i still feel like her. waiting on a distant shore knowing that he won't come back. he is my pinkerton. even though, the last matinee he walked so many miles to tell me he loved me, i knew he would break my wings. i think i will easily be three years before i find any love again. easily.
040823
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uow yes. yer welcome pete.
i had no idea if you knew that it was originally a NIN song, and didn't want to correct you in case it seemed snotty of me, but thought i should tag the reznor credit on anyway.

listen to NIN's version sometime if you get a chance. it's long been my favourite NIN song. the video is good too. i haven't seen it in years and years, but if i remember correctly, it is taken from a concert with reznor on stage singing while behind him a screen plays images of decomposing animals. (beautifully disgusting, as it demonstrates how fragile life is, how death is an inevitable, how when we die our bodies disintegrate into the nothing of everything. basically: disturbing, but poetic).

i was stunned, enchanted, amazed the first time i heard cash singing his version.
i don't know which i like more now. same song being sung, but they both put so much of themselves into it that both are completely different. hard to compare the two.

i remember when the song came out, (NIN version) i read an article in a magazine (spin, or something similar) that 'hurt' was recorded in a house connected with the manson murders. so i just checked google, and here is a link that talks a bit about that connection and the history of the song:

http://songfacts.com/detail.lasso?id=2727




To hear that Johnny was interested in doing my song was a defining moment in my life's work," said NIN's Trent Reznor. "To hear the result really reminded me how beautiful, touching and powerful music can be.
-Trent Reznor 2003
http://maninblack.net/Hurt/reznor.htm
040823
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pete i definitely see it as a good thing to be corrected, and for that i thank you *goes off to download the nin version* 040823
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uow http://www.angelfire.com/band/nintrent/hurt.html

;)
040823
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pete this ending is intense, echoing the stomach ache the staff party fostered in me 040823
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from now on



i wonder what's going on inside me

i wonder if i have an inside

or if i even have a me
041031
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from