the_fall_of_man_or_something ~R Main Entry: gen·e·sis Pronunciation: 'je-n&-s&s Function: noun Inflected Form(s): plural gen·e·ses /-"sEz/ Etymology: Latin, from Greek, from gignesthai to be born —Date: circa 1604 : the origin or coming into being of something Main Entry: Genesis Function: noun Etymology: Greek : the mainly narrative first book of canonical Jewish and Christian Scriptures. Genesis, then, and a look at life in the garden of Eden, and the fall. Genesis 1 details the creation of the heavens and the earth, the sun, moon and stars, man (adam) and the appointment of food. Notable verses: 1:26 And God Said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him, male and female created he them. Genesis 2 Begins both after and during the events occuring within G1, detailing the events after the creation of the heaven, earth and man. It's the creation of Man and woman that I'll be taking apart, starting with Genesis 2:7. 2:7 And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. 8 And the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed. Genesis 2:9-15 details the creation and geography of Eden, winding up with a description of the tree of life and of knowledge. 15 God places man in the garden and Genesis 2:16 begins God's commandment, concerning the garden. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of Every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: 17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. 18 And the Lord God Said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. Genesis 2:19-20 details the bringing of every animal for Adam's consideration and Adam's subsequent naming of them, and inability to find an help meet. 21 And the lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from the man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unti his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Genesis 3 - The Fall of Man, in the Garden 1 Now the serpent was mur subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden? 2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: 3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. 4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: 5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing both good and evil. 6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. 7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themslves aprons. 8 And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden. 9 And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? 10 And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, beause I was naked; and I hid myself. 11 And he said, Who Told Thee That Thou Was Naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? 12 And the man said, The woman who thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. 13 And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. Genesis 3:14-20 Detailing the various curses dispensed to serpent, Adam and Eve. 21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the Lord God make coats of skins, and clothed them. 22 And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live forever: 23 Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken. 24 So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life. Now that all the transcription is over with (And I hope you fuckers appreciate the amount of typing I've done. ::grins::), let's look at the story, as it's commonly told. One day, God is bopping along in the Garden, because God surely is the hepest fuckin' cat in the Garden, and he decides that it'd be neat to make a creature in his own image. So, whipping off his shades, God stoops down and puts his manicured hands to the dirt, hawks, spits and breathes life into the creature. God Says, "Damn, I'm good," calls the man Adam, and decides to make Adam king shit of earth, but with one catch. "Don't eat none a' the forbidden fruit on them trees over there, or you'll die, foo'. Fo' Sho'." All the animals are brought forth, Adam gives them all names, says, "None of these cats fits the bill, Big G." God says, "It's cool, baby... take a hit of this." Adam: "*koff* What is that?" "I just invented chlouroform, honeychile." and BAM Adam's punk ass is passed out. God, thinking fast and praising his associates degree in surgery, yoinks a rib, slaps some dirt on it, hawks, spits, and presto, instant bitch. Adam: "Yo, God. Thanks. I'm gonna call her Woman. Go make me some pies, ho." And then one day, while God's off doing something divine, and no one's lookin', the snake sneaks up on Eve and says, "Yo, bitch. Eat the fruit." "Fuck off, honkey snake, I'm not supposed to do that or I'll die." Snake: "Bitch, please. You c'n touch it, can't you? See? Now, eat it, sucka." Eve: "Mm. Well, since I'm already a lying whore, now, I might as well make my husband eat some of this, so I'm not the only one that's fucked!" Adam eats, looks at his wife, and decides to invent the boner and sex, all in the same thought. They finish up, Adam says, "Yo, bitch, we're naked. Get me a fig leaf and cover up your titties." They get clothed, God walks around, looking for Adam, 'cause he scored some beers, earlier and wants to party with his little buddy and he's, like, "YO. Where the fuck'd you go?" And Adam walks out 'n says, "I didn't wanna come out 'cos my dick was flapping in the breeze." And God says, pretty pissed, "WHO TOLD YOU YOU HAD A DICK TO FLAP IN THE BREEZE, ANYWAY, MOFO?" Then it's found out that Adam ate the fruit because his dumb bitch wife made him do it, and they're tossed out of God's pad, and life generally begins to suck. WRONG. This is what's really said, that I (with the guidance of friends) have found. God creates Man. God tells man, "Do not eat of the fruit of the tree of life and of the tree of knowledge, or you'll die." Adam, ostensibly, agrees and God begins his search for adam's "Help meet" or 'equal/fit/proper helper'. God creates woman. Eve is beguiled by the serpent, because she thinks (Gen 3:3)"But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die." Which is her undoing, because what was really said (Gen2:17) "But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou, etc." What's important to note, in Genesis, is the order of events and what's not said. Observe: 1. God Creates Man. 2. God instructs man not to eat of the fruit of the tree of life and of the tree of kowledge. 3. God creates woman (After instructing man, he says nothing to Eve.) 4. Presumably, Adam tells Eve, "God said don't eat it... Don't even touch it, or you'll die!" Which, not being what God said, is a lie. Adam's enthusiasm is noted, perhaps, but misplaced. 5. Eve is beguiled by the serpent because, upon touching it and not dying (Not a sin - It's assumed that, for all God cares, she could play baseball with the fruit, so long as she didn't stuff her face with it) she assumes Adam was wrong about not eating it, too, so she chows down. 6. Eve says, "Yo babe. I ate it." Adam sees she's living, shrugs, and chows down. Important note- 3:6 "and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat." 7. God finds them, realizes what they've done, and asks Adam whether or not he's eaten the fruit. 8. Adam puts the blame on God, "The bitch you created made me do it." 9. The woman is put to question and says, "Well, yeah. The serpent suckered me, and I mowed on the fruit." 10. They are summarily punished and ADAM ALONE IS THROWN FROM THE GARDEN. It's also worth noting that God throws them out so that they can't become just like 'us.' Curiouser and curiouser. So. Adam screwed the pooch, as it were, not Eve. She could never have been beguiled if Adam had not instructed her wrongly. When asked, Adam acts like a three year old and blames God for faulty construction of helper. Eve admits her wrongs and they are both punished - Adam, for misinstructing Eve and not accepting his responsibility, just like a proper person who is "As [God]" should do, and Eve, for going against the word of God, even though she was told wrongly. Adam is cast out, because having told Eve wrongly, he is responsible for the whole mess in the first place. I'd like to presume that Eve, being the coolest chick in the garden, followed him out because she knew that he'd probably starve to death on his own. 040118 what's it to you? who go blather from