be_everyone_you_are fyn gula he wondered as he usually did by what identity he could give the current state of affairs, the constituency he presently found himself in, something he could paint, cut and paste, glue down permanently. as if after this period of day to day existence he still had not completely discovered the inner knowledge that kept appearing like some pencil rubbing he did as a child. he possessed much of what he needed to calm the storms, to stand out in the strong winds, under the lightening flashes and not get struck. much of that coming in adolescence, beside the streams or the driftwood fires, at the stick huts he constructed in the lonely woods, laying under the sun listening to the hum of busy bees, waiting for fantasy and reality to merge. yet the parts he still layed in bed thinking about or watching the world spin and he the other way...these are the things that puzzled him, that irritated him like interrupted dreams. he realized his soul was made up of several entities, individual segments that fit together, a child's puzzle that brings the squeal of completion. but what bothered him the most was the ones he loved most were the least understood, not by him for he found the greatest wonder in the continuing revelation, but by those closest to him. they shake their heads in delusion, they click their tongues in ignorance, they roll their eyes with disdain. and he thought he could let this apathy, this rejection, this neglect roll off his back like rain falling on the feathers of a white swan, but he could not. he was pierced. st. sebastian on the cross. many sharp arrows hitting tender places, drawing blood from wounds he knew would never heal because time is a jealous thief who deceives us into taking paths we should not be walking on, even though the way is beautiful. if we were to just look closely, we would see the monster behind the shrubbery, the fungus under the bark, the snake hidden in the grass, the spider crawling noiselessly. so he stopped here in this place at this time and he simply screamed with all the strength he had inside. he vomited forth the primal gunk accumulated over the years of deceiving himself. all the lies, all the deception, all the wasted days of being something he wasn't. he cried out, "be everyone you are!" and the birds scattered. be the child in your mother's womb. the boy on the swing. the youth alone in the forest. the fictional character trapped between worlds. the man in love with the world. when all had returned to peace and the birds settled once more on the branches of trees with young leaves, he wept until he could taste the salt in his trembling mouth. 010525 ... Miner 1) Hello 2) Hiya 3) Good morning 2) So is anybody else in here? 1) I haven’t seen psychotically imagined persona number 12 in here for ages 3) Yeah last i heard she was leading a group of the other split personalities out of here to find a new less crowded more stable mind to inhabit 2) Oh.. I never got an invite 1) Don’t worry, she only took a few dozen of us, still plenty more, just its the holiday season so they’re all on vacation 3) Oh well at least you, number 1 main persona person, can know for sure, that no matter how alone you are, we will always be here, leaving you never truly alone. 1) Thanks... I love you people 2) Aaaaww I’m so touched, I wanna cry 010525 ... nocturnal it must be nice to have them all get along so well. all of my little people just fight and insult each other. they never shut up! 010525 ... j_blue me too, except the secret whisperer he likes to sit in the background, and whispers the things i should have done when i put my foot in my mouth 010525 ... nocturnal oh I HATE that guy. absolutely useless. just makes me feel worse everytime. 010525 ... amy i thought maybe, since i have the leisure time, i would a pick a new color everyday to be. figuring there must be something mysterious about them all and wanting blithely to touch a base or dip a toe in or something like that. brown siena for today. as it may as well be... and i'll be neither sad or angry. 010527 ... somebody our single self has several sides... be_everyone_you_are! 060828 ... birdmad be everyone i am? that could take a while, and it would get confusing after a while 060828 ... :-) ing at u that ok, we confusion like for you! 060828 ... The Damned Doctor_Jekyll_and_Mister_Hyde I’m normal outside he’s evil inside I’m doctor jekyll and he’s mister hyde I try to be true he tries to be cruel I’ll hold you gently but he’ll smother you my clothes will impress you my claws will undress you I’m normal outside he’s evil inside I’m doctor jekyll and he’s mister hyde I want what’s right he walks in the night searching for sin in his decadent life my charms will beguile you my arms will defile you (me, I’m on the side of the angels but the devil is my best friend sin is a way of life saints are for suckers welcome to the underworld I start where nightmares end two for the price of one) (two…for the price of one) I’m normal outside he’s evil inside I’m doctor jekyll he’s mister hyde I try to be true he tries to be cruel I’ll hold you gently but he’ll smother you my clothes will impress you my claws will undress you (Vanian / Scabies / Sensible) 060830 ... superleni not all at once. it's easier to hate everyone and love everyone on separate days. 060831 ... . . 130609 what's it to you? who go blather from