self_disgust unhinged weak pining the part of me that looks at the part of you i will not let go i perpetually crawl back to waiting for you to see that every minute is like a stab wound without_you and even when your words pierced me i could praise the voice that spoke them i wanted you to use me when i couldn't get you to love me and i hate myself for that 020324 ... silentbob i stab my eyes out 020324 ... .x. this root is, half wood-half rot, and is again a tears reservoir like the root of a gourd 020325 ... sabbie .:sniff sniff:. euughh... i need a shower... 020325 ... pushpins mirror at coconut willie's in the changing room with a beach mat for the door i'm too short, you can almost see my ass as I change and I hate trying on the clothes that define me when i go there. the mirror told me secrets today so blatantly obvious i could taste my reflection. she told me "look at those hips those breasts and awkward lips. look at your stomach and those flabby arms. you make. me. sick." and I couldn't deny the truth so i didn't buy clothes today. too ugly to decorate my clumsy figure. 020325 ... blown cherry unhinged hits the spot again. It's my biggest weakness I know, but I still wonder if imbeded somewhere in the middle of that, whether it's not a strength too. Stuff Bridget Jones. Loving beyond all obstacles. 020328 ... unhinged it hides in various guises but if i yelled at him now he would totally know how crazy i am 050214 ... jane i am a solipsistic narcissistic hedonist 050317 ... mon uow self_discussed 050317 ... hey jane well put 050317 ... nom i'm not very happy 070522 ... a nice boy *hugs* i hope you feel better nom 070522 ... sfsdkj i am a bad person sometimes. 070523 ... whooops and so am i ! apparently i called someone a murderer on saturday night because he believed in war! i was asked to leave the party... don't remember that at all ! ..just found out.... ! ME didn't kill nobody though, I don't believe in war. and why did the bouncer believe in fighting anyway? he is supposed to be a peace keeper ? but i should not have called him that i know ! sorry bouncer man... you are big and i am small me not scared .. i prefer to hug than fight. 070523 ... Lemon_Soda You don't call someone a murderer unless they've killed someone. Jerk. 070523 ... Lemon_Soda Okay, I feel the need to elaborate here, so here goes... First off, anyone who knows me or at the least reads the blathes knows I'm not an excessively negative person. Infact, i'm quite the opposite. It takes quite a bit to get my dander up, and even more than that for me to stand up and say something. So here it is... I don't care how fucked up, drunk, stoned, tripping, or what the hell ever, calling someone a murderer is a horrible, horrible thing to do if they haven't taken human life in their hands. Its like calling someone a child molestor, in PUBLIC even. I would slap you if I could. Just to clarify, I understand murder. Someone NEEDs to kill someone every once in awhile. Thats just the way it is. I understand child molestors. I don't condone it. I don't think its right. I think anyone who does it is sick and needs serious help. But in both cases, I would never, EVER accuse someone who wasn't of either of these things just because of something they said. I haven't been this offended in a long time...I'm glad you didn't put your real blather alias on what was posted. Atleast that name still has my respect. And for everyone out there who thinks i'm in the wrong on this one or i should have kept it to myself. Go ahead and tell me ALL about it(I'm putting in y email or feel free to post here), because I could use a laugh over this. I'm standing behind my righteos indignation on this one. is just...disgusted and angry. 070523 ... LS cst_il_011@yahoo.com 070523 ... poet nahhh 070524 ... Isaou ::looks in the mirror:: yuck. 070524 ... whoops Dear Lemon Soda... yes i agree ! it was very wrong of me to say that, and i regret it very much.... however ... it was more like a symbol ... it wasn't literal. you have all the right to say what you have said because i agree with you and it is not at all like me to say such a thing, some black energy was coming out, and i did feel anger inside .. just angry at the world really. and i am sorry for that.. i am never an agressive person so i was shocked at my self. my statement came from an anger that somone believes in war, that war is a solution. Unfortunately the way i responded was probably encouraging more conflict and not the other way around... i just don't understand why someone can't see that if you put you guns down... it will kill and hurt less people.. it is a way towards peace. best i shut my mouth, there is nothing i can do to change peoples opinions. but remember... a word is a word ... i never pulled a gun and neither did he... it was a strong debate that got out of hand. sorry :_( forgive me. 070524 ... Lemon_Soda Don't take it personally. I shouldn't have. You forgive me and we'll call it even. 070524 ... whoops how can i forgive you? you done nothin' wrong ? 070524 ... Ouroboros war is murder and believing in war is murder believe in it, talk about it, vote for policies that support it, participate in it. believing in war is murder. just because humans have been doing something for years doesn't mean it's an inherent part of the human condition that is unavoidable and cannot be changed. all life is sacred. 070524 ... Ouroboros and why be full of self-disgust for telling someone exactly what you think of them 070524 ... Ouroboros and why be full of self-disgust for telling someone exactly what you think of them 070524 ... Ouroboros and why not repeat yourself in the process 070524 ... coid i think i dont think right because i dont think of myself as myself without putting me into a third person so its really hard to understand how im hurting people sometimes. and i live my days doing my darndest not to hurt anyone. Smile, please? is it diluded with bettering myself? would that really be a bad thing? 070524 ... whoops thing is arguing with someone that believes in war is fine but if they become aggresive you have to find a way to prevent aggresion or to prevent it from increasing by doing that you ask for forgiveness.... because you are not forgiving yourself but you are forgiveing them in their own sad belief... it prevents further angur .. (just tactics) 070525 what's it to you? who go blather from