anthony
singintomymouth Anthony is the one I love. Although it seems ridiculous at times. 011126
...
ClairE Ant is my best friend.
I admire him heartily.

If only I could relax. But if I ever took his advice, what would he have left to say to me?

I can't listen to him laugh forever.
011126
...
ClairE nice_guys always keep me coming back for more.

it's so refreshing to have an uncomplicated_guy (well, at least not_complicated in the sense that girls_are_complicated) for a best_friend.
although it can be aggravating, too (especially if you are a complicated_girl).
011130
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u know who a kid i know 040218
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the great pretender is a stranger to me. then, now & forever. 050124
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unhinged brings out the joy in me

(and our music together rocks. hopefully there will be a myspace soon)
071009
...
unhinged it's over
i can't deal



house_of_cards
080218
...
no reason my old drum teacher. he was playing in my dream last night.
weird.
maybe i should go see him play again...
080219
...
stork daddy patron saint of the lost. 080219
...
unhinged he was my saint
when i was lost




but i'm not anything special to him
at least not
as special as he is to me
080219
...
stork daddy you can never know what's in the inscrutable mind of saints. 080219
...
unhinged 'you are like a sister to me'
definitely not as special to him
as he is to me
080219
...
unhinged last night was a reaffirmation



baffling hos
stand on the bar stop
harassing people like hood rats
the backseat of matt's car
duck_and_cover
cut_and_run
dance party at the after party ( instant_smiles)
move on up - curtis mayfield
accordion oratory
cut the crap


yes, you are my favorite
(leos - got 'em tattooed on my ass)
080405
...
unhinged 'i got it. i know who you remind me of. you are like seth green's bad ass older brother.' 080405
...
unhinged yep
still want to grab you to me
and keep you all for myself
080425
...
unhinged ugh


i can't
i can't be the third wheel
i can't be part of the family
i can't pretend it doesn't bother me
that i'm your friend
your second sister




unfairly
i always end up in this place
where seemingly out of nowhere
i freak
cause how would you know
if i don't tell you?
but why would i tell you
when i already know how you feel?
unfairly
i'm always stuck in this place



i don't want to be your friend
i just want to be your lover
denial
it's my house_of_cards
and meanwhile
i will give you my tickets
to fund your date
cook you dinner
when you can find the time for me
give you free lessons
when you ask


i'm tired
i wish i could tell you
how tired i am
of you
of us
of what i am to you
unfairly
tired of being independent
tired of being alone
tired of your pity


but you couldn't know
cause i never told you
what_you_meant_to_me
080702
...
unhinged don't_say_the_thought_never_crossed_your_mind


i was afraid this would happen to us
the same thing i always let happen
because i'm too afraid
to say it
i think you might be with this one for awhile
cause she's worth being with for awhile
unlike me
apparently
just let me, us, our music slip away
join another band
find a girl that makes you walk funny
the next day


damn dude
i don't even know how to tell you
cause it doesn't seem fair to say it now
how it hurts me
to be without you
080719
...
unhinged (but i have been reminded very recently of something i learned and then forgot; boys want girls to boss them around. tell them what to do and when to do it; how to breathe, move, eat, live, dress, sleep. and i won't be that girl. which leaves me perennially alone. it's strange really, as much as guys bitch about naggy bossy girls, that is exactly what they want. and it is not my nature to be the boss or to be bossed)

so i don't really need to ask you the questions other than to be confrontational which i'm not really. cause i already know the answers. you need what i'm not. but regretfully, painfully, i need what you are.
080723
...
unhinged sad_but_true
beautiful_snarls


i was reading white_oleander today and a passage reminded me that the way i feel right now about you always feels like the end of the world, like forever. but it's just a moment. eventually, it will fade.


but i miss you
i miss me and you
i regret what i should have said
i regret what i didn't say
and i wish it was this time last year
when we were closer
when i was the happiness in your life
when the raindrops on my porch roof
reminded you of thailand
when you threw the chair at my neighbors house
for throwing water balloons at us
when we carried the buffet down the street
when i told you about joseph_and_i
and couldn't help but cry
i miss you


but i can only make beautiful_snarls at you
because it's all past now
unfairly
i'm not really all that in your present
and i'm not the kind of kick and scream
don't think i don't notice
the bounce she puts in your step
so painful for me


i have other things to practice now
080810
...
unhinged 'you'll always have a place in my heart'

but not the place i want
gag me
gag me with a fucking spoon
080811
...
unhinged what am i going to do without you? 090906
...
unhinged (and when you come back to town
you always make the time
to at least call

i didn't have time the last time
you called)
100305
...
unhinged happy birthday boodhi



the older i get
the more i realize
the time i spent with you
writing music
cruising in the boat
sleeping on the couch
may just be some of the best moments of my life
120811
...
unhinged you were sleeping on my floor this morning. i snuck a peek at you before i left for work. you didnt exactly look peaceful.


seeing you on stage last night made me jealous. seeing you on stage last night made me miss making music with you.


you are a big reason i dont stay friends with people i date. i am well aware of how painful the grey area is between lover and friend
140713
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from