anorexic
silentbob katie dumped the boy. She said he was anorexic. I said maybe he just eats when you're not around because he's nervous when he's around you. She said no. She was always around him. 020416
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celestias_shadow just because i don't get hungry doesn't mean i'm anorexic. why can't people get that? i don't get hungry, thus i do not eat. that simple. that easy. morons. 030303
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werewolf because if i eat...i eat you 030303
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ruba dear ana,
i love you. i hate you. and you are all that i have.
030303
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She Ana wrecks your life,

like an anorexic life.

-Silverchair
030304
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sometimes is never good enough If u want sympathy for your "disease", you are anorexic. If you want respect and admiration for your lifestyle of choice, you are a rexie Anorexics die. Rexies are proud of our accomplishments, and the accomplishments that lie ahead. we will never die. 030418
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phil You can feel the energy from food you eat. Some good (apples), some bad (pop). 030418
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rubydee ana lies

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030429
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megan she makes me want to hug her from the inside out
let her know she IS ok
she does have worth
and i love her so much, and don't ever know what i'd do without my best friend
030430
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bluten it's always the quiet ones, isn't it? the perfect girls who never stopped hating themselves. 031026
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magicforest ana lies.
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031026
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ashmanzhou there is one girl here who is anorexic
i am just glad im not that bad
031027
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breygris oh, shut up, please. ana is a voice and you've made her remember she has a place in my head, an old hole. shut up shut up shut up shut up. you want some advice? anyone? dont watch tv (unless you have TiVO and you can skip all the crap. The Crap = commercials, and 95% of everything else). dont read magazines. never ever ever listen to anything the media tells you. if you own a weight scale, THROW IT THE FUCK OUT. and then become a vegetarian. heh. 031027
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breygris oh yeah, and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
you must be the change you wish to see in the world.
031027
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nothing i forgot this is not what i am. i am too fat to be this. 040510
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z aren't we all, in some way? 040924
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thetruth get over yourselves 040924
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kookaburra for a few days recently i was leaning towards becoming anorexic.
that is weird.
i hate being skinny
040925
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qwerteardrops nothing -

i feel exactly the same. exactly.

it's such a depressing thing to realise...
too fat to be this.

i tried several times

i failed at being this.

bitterness
yes
its so pathetic that i could not even succeed at this.
i see anorexia in a variety of ways at the moment,
sometimes it frees me from the pressures and abuses and shit from society
sometimes it IS the restraint, the thing i must stop.
i see it as voluntary,
i know there are people who will disagree.
i still get hungry
i just push my body past it
i dont eat in front of many people.

some of them think i am anorexic but really i cant even manage to be that.

it feels good to punish my body, to push it past the state of hunger, to be able to stop the disgusting mechanical process of shovelling grease and crap into your mouth, letting the outside crap slowly inside you, down your oesophagus and.......etc

sometimes it feels bad to do it. feels monotonous and pointless. I dont lose weight, i dont get thinner. i do sometimes but then when i eventually have to eat it all comes back again.

sometimes food repulses me
sometimes it's ok
but i never really want it
i will not eat in front of certain people at all.
the idea of it makes any weak appetite i had vanish.

i can go days without touching any food.
but then i make it up again.
and i feel awful because i failed yet again to be properly anorexic.
what i do now is a shadow;
a mocking mimicry of something i shouldnt even want.

from this leads to more pain.
trapped in this neverending puppetshow.

yes, that is a good analogy; i am a puppet carved out of wood, carved in a way i hate but cannot change. No matter how hard i pull the strings or try to refuse to move, the puppeteer controls me. i cannot change myself but cannot being myself to stop trying, for that would be defeat, and i would be left emptier than now, no pun intended. i would be left shallow, hope-free, wishless and broken. i struggle against this because my sanity is what i have to preserve.

but when you look at me now.....
could you really say i am sane?
040926
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z i did not make the z entry on this page 040929
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Hajera could be beautiful

those who haven't fasted can't possibly fathom it.
041204
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ambermoon remember me? im you best friend and i love you. dont you understand your beautiful?
i see you sitting there shaking because you havent eatin anything in a week. i want to scream, PLEASE EAT SOMETHING, PLEASE!!! but i dont. i just tell you that i love you and need you.
im so scared that im going to lose you.
then you do eat and im so releaved. only to find out that it came up later. i want to cry. please dont leave me. there are so many people who love you.
041204
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Melisandre "Flesh is heretic. My body is a witch. I am burning it."

eavan boland, anorexic
041205
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t inside every fat woman is an even fatter one 050610
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blank anorexia is for someone who has something to prove to themselves. self control is what its all about. you cant have it one way so you make it another. thats all.

some people need it. some people want it. only few actually have it. ultimate power over one's state of being. If you dont need sustanence then you dont need anything but yourself, and thats what they want.
050705
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me I love I miss I crave
bones and freedom
from flesh and
gravity
071011
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christmas what a day for this to come up. 071011
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from