mg cr0wl crowl_and_crowli the introduction to mg chapter 1 graham, who had momentarily struck an odd gaze from molly, seeing her for perhaps the first time as more than a simple friend, twisted in his wooden chair and turned to the new graham, noticing how his long hair hung like a dead animal on his face. "why did the fish call us to the well?" he asked and straightened out his own hair, licking his fingers and patting it down hoping it looked at least proper. the new graham smirked. "why does anyone do anything?" he beseeched his doppelganger. "isn't it obvious they wanted you here?" he played with the red glass beads of his tibetian bracelet. "if they wanted us here why did we have to dive into the well and swim down and almost die?" the old graham, persisted and leaned forward across the table. his statement caused the two mollys to look at each other. 100905 ... crowli "wait a minute....just wait," the new molly piped up, throwing her hands in front of her, the defensive tone in her voice very obvious as she directly addressed the old molly in answer to graham's questions. "why is it that you think we have all the answers?" the four of them sat in silence for a moment, not knowing exactly how to proceed, but then the old molly surprised all of them with an uncharacteristic show of authority. she stood up slowly, and ignoring the butterflies she still felt fluttering around in her belly, she smoothed the front of her dress and squared her shoulders, never once taking her eyes off of her apparent double. "because those fish....they needed us....but what we did to get here was really dangerous....and now they are gone and you are here....well, you must know something!" when she stopped and waited for the new molly to respond, she recalled the image of graham's fearful eyes and blue shivering lips, and her emotions immediately bubbled to the surface, deflating her confidence like a balloon with a puncture. now fighting back the tears that threatened to fall at any second, she turned to her graham and reached for both of his hands as she said, "i never told you this, and maybe i should have....but i have dreamed about this, about us and them. and now that they are real, i'm....i....i don't know graham.....i'm really scared."         100905 ... cr0wl graham felt the tight grip of molly's soft, small hands in his and could tell that both the new molly and graham were watching him, yet he felt, with a sense of intricate perfection he was gazing back at himself like others saw him. the new graham's thoughts were his, yet he was discovering that any time a decision was made, the choice could go two ways. "this is not a dream," old graham said. he squeezed molly's hands and pressed her ringed finger against her pinkey finger. it hurt, but she didn't show any pain. "we've been turned inside out." she pulled hard away from him and grabbed the back of her chair.she thrust her right arm out towards the new molly and pinched the corner of her velvet sleeve. "she is me i know, but she will take us to danger if we let her lead. i want you to lead," and here her gaze fell upon the new graham who had been staring at her the entire time. 100906 ... crowli "so you don't trust her, huh?" the new graham said, locking eyes with the old molly who was now shaking her head grimly. "well, i've got news for you," he blurted defensively. "what you're really saying then is that you don't trust yourself, because you are her and she is you." and as he huffed through his nose in irritation, the old molly's resolve suddenly dissolved into an uncontrollable dual river of frustrated tears that spontaneously started flowing.   the new graham turned to his molly, who had been staring intently at the cracks in the floor as if they were interesting pieces of art as she listened to their exchange, but she ignored him completely as she quietly stood up and went over to her sobbing double, instantly pulling her close into a comforting embrace. she stroked the old molly's hair, separating her golden curls in a mothering manner, while she patted her back and whispered a song that she seemed to be making up as she went along. when the old molly's crying had reduced to burning eyes, sniffles and red tinged cheeks, the new molly placed both her hands on the old molly's cheeks, and commanded her attention with her eyes. "listen to me....you'll help me and i will help you....we have got to trust each other." and as she exhaled loudly and took an involuntary expert swipe to seize molly's last falling tear from her cheek, she said, "we're in this together, right?" molly nodded silently, her uncertainty showing clearly in her eyes while her whole body shuddered from the aftermath of her emotional explosion. "you're cold....come on....come over here with me," the new molly said, grasping her hand, and she turned to lead the old molly across the room to where the grahams were now sitting.  the old molly let a small sigh of relief escape her tentatively smiling lips when she saw the welcoming stone hearth alive and glowing. she squeezed herself into the small space on the hearth rug between the two boys, and she let their closeness comfort her and the fire's warmth envelope her, but she finally relaxed when she felt her graham's fingers interlock with hers. they were all mesmerized for a moment, lost in their own thoughts, especially the old molly, who was coming to grips with the fact that she had just 'comforted herself.' and so, when the new molly reached into the log bin to retrieve another piece of wood to feed the flames, no one saw the sarcastic grin flash across her face as she said, "be careful everyone....you wouldn't want to get too close."        100907 ... cr0wl the fire popped, crackled, and hissed, throwing peculiar shadows about the strange room, coloring their tranquil faces with the soft light of approaching sleep. its enveloping warmth urged them to give in to the stressful demands of their new existence and surrender and so they yielded, the four of them reduced to a pile of relaxed bodies, where backs became pillows and arms served as blankets. golden curls wrapping around a naked arm like a vine around a tree branch. tightly clenched fingers yielding to exhaustion and sliding apart. when the flames finally died they were replaced by the heavy, automatic breathing of uninterrupted, slack-jawed dreams. a staccato rhythm of short gasps and rem-fluttering punctuated by garbled mumbling and quick sniffles. images created from a vast stockpile of innocent experience fused together with effortless precision and played on the screens of their young minds like short films. a sudden knock on a door brought the stillness to an abbreviated end. the old graham was the first to wake. old molly's face was on his chest. its weight a suggestion of substance. her eyes fluttered open as he wriggled to a sitting position. "did you hear that?" he asked, his voice croaky and off key. the new molly and graham stirred awake to the sound of his voice. "someone's here?" she asked, pressing her fingers into her eyes. there was another knock. the new graham sat up, rolling his molly off his chest. she groaned with protest and clung on to his leg as he rose to his knees. "it's coming from the floor i think," he said, pulling away from the new molly, who pulled the velvet material of her dress around herself with urgency. the old molly had her legs crossed indian style. she lifted her arms above her head and stretched, doing so quickly, as if the sound of the knocking was restricting her and forcing her awareness. the old graham stood up and walked over near the table to the origin of the intrusion. blinking away sleep, he could make out the undeniable shape of a door cut out in the elegant design of the painted wood floor. before he could make a move, the door lifted upwards. the old graham threw a look over his shoulder to see the reaction of the others. the new graham and old molly were standing. the new molly was cradling herself in the fetal position, still fast asleep. 100908 ... crowli the heavy door groaned and creaked as it slowly opened, and the old graham stood still as a statue, watching it suspiciously in the dim light as it rose higher and higher. when it reached its precarious halfway point, he jumped quickly backward as the giant mass of timber capitulated to gravity and slammed onto the floor with an earsplitting bang. the resultant cloud of dust swirled all around graham, and he coughed slightly, reacting to the irritant. but his eyes had become the immediate problem. because he had been so close to the impact, the residue cloud had filled them with scratchy stone powder causing them to water angrily, and his vision was now blurred with tears, preventing him from getting a much-desired look at who or what had opened the door. he was rubbing them fiercely with both hands when he heard her. “graham?” came the small voice from behind him. “graham, are you okay?” the old molly asked as she cautiously moved toward him, alarmed, her heart pounding in her chest. “yeah moll’ i’m okay...i just can’t see a stinking thing...my eyes...they’re burning so badly from the dust...can you see what’s in there?” he asked, pointing at the opening in the floor. she wasn’t sure exactly how she recognized it, but on some level within her awareness, she knew with her whole heart and soul that there was danger associated with this turn of events. she felt it creeping up the back of her neck like the fingers of a menacing shadow, and her shoulder blades tensed uncontrollably while her hands started to shake with fear. her ‘inner voice’ that she had always listened to was commanding her to ‘run away.’ and so, instead of answering him, or even looking in the direction of the doorway, she ran over to the table where they had eaten earlier, and picked up two glasses of the now-flat seltzer water, and carried them over to where graham was standing. “come here,” she said, “let me run this over your face,it should help your eyes.” molly knelt down and graham sat next to her, and carefully positioning his head over her bent knees, she slowly poured the cool liquid over his eyes. though it dripped all over his forehead and into his long strands, soaking the top of his velvet garment, he blew out his breath in relief as the burning in his eyes subsided and his vision started to return to normal. “thanks...” he uttered in gratitude giving her a shy smile. ‘she’s always taking care of me,’ he thought to himself absently as he craned his neck once again toward the opening in the floor. meanwhile, the new graham looked toward the open doorway with blatant curiosity in his wide-awake blue eyes as he nudged his molly in an attempt to awaken her. she did not respond. “molly, get up.” he said, raising his voice slightly as he shook her by her shoulders. “this is what we’ve been waiting for, right?” the new molly stirred slightly and she seemed to struggle to open her eyes, but what he couldn't have known was that she was actually clinging stubbornly to the vivid technicolor dream she was completely immersed in. her blissful semi-conscious state had made her an absolutely unwilling participant in the new graham’s plan to rouse her, however, he forced the issue when he raised his voice another several notches, yelling, “HE”S HERE...COME ON...GET UP, MOLLY...NOW!!” 100908 ... cr0wl "there's no hurry," a deep, fatherly voice said, coming from the open doorway. it was a calculated, careful, authoritative command, which seemed to be amplified by some unseen microphone and it immediately caught the old molly and graham's attention, and when they beheld who it belonged to they could see the statement was directed at the new graham, who was still frustrated at his friend's sleepiness. yanking her up by one stiff arm, she moaned and still resisted him from her comfortable repose next to the smoking ashes. the masculine figure was of adult stature and build, yet was set apart at first glance by his tiger's mask, a perfect replication of the majestic animal's visage. he was dressed with ostentatious elegance in king's raiment and as he stepped up and out of the dusty doorway, a faint scent of cinnamon, ginger and earth proceeded him. he passed by the old graham and molly as they stood silent in their respectful observation and though he did not ignore them, offering them a substantial nod of recognition, he said nothing and moved past them. molly thought he was beautiful, but she was frightened of him like any normal person would be. graham, on the other hand wished he could be like him. "allow me," the tiger king said, reaching forth with a vise-like grip on the new graham's arm. he released his hold on molly's hand lest his bicep be squeezed into pulp by the tiger king's force. with an elegant swoop, he lifted the new molly into the fragrant air and twirled her around in a graceful arc. she clasped her lithe arms about his broad shoulders and giggled. "you came!" she said, smiles bursting from her fresh face like fireworks set off in winter. 100909 ... crowli as the new graham watched this strange scene unfold before him, he was immediately perplexed, and as he rubbed the soreness out of his smarting bicep with his other hand, he wondered how it was that his closest friend seemed to know this 'tiger king' character already. the new molly laced her fingers around the Tiger King's neck, petting his soft furry mask with affection while she allowed herself to melt into his fatherly embrace. clearly enraptured by his display of attention directed solely towards her, she wore a smile as bright as a brilliant sunrise. "of course i came, my darling girl. i would never let you down...."he said. as he set her gently onto the floor, she reluctantly let go of her hold on him, but he surprised her by taking her hand and leading her across the room and away from the others. the grahams and the old molly had gathered together and were now standing shoulder to shoulder with molly in the middle, and the three of them watched the new molly follow behind the Tiger King like a loyal puppy. "what is he doing with her?" the old molly asked the boys in a hushed whisper. though the elegant masked man and the new molly were easily out of earshot, the Tiger King turned around abruptly, and through his elaborate mask molly could see his beautiful eyes flash in unmistakable annoyance, making her cringe with fear. but when he answered her using an unexpectedly gentle voice, it only further confused her. "molly, in due time, you will come to know me very well....trust me, dear girl.... i have your best interests at heart." and then he seemed to dismiss her completely with a backhanded wave of his hand as he turned his full attention back to the new molly. the old molly said nothing as she glared at his back, her heart pounding nervously once again, and she shuddered when she considered what he could be whispering to her double, who was listening intently to him and nodding excitedly.  'i'm scared of him,' molly thought to herself, 'but i wish i was her....he doesn't seem to like me one bit.'  suddenly she felt warmth and comfort find both of her hands, and molly relaxed slightly as her graham clasped her right and the new graham reached for her left hand at the exact same moment. but the back of her neck prickled when the new molly shouted from across the room, seemingly answering her unspoken thought out loud, "don't be afraid....he's amazing, you'll see....we have great adventures ahead of us!"        100909 ... cr0wl the tiger king, whistling a melodic, full-throated tune led the group into the opening in the floor. new molly had insisted he carry her and so he lifted her up on his shoulders where she held tightly with her legs and swung her arms freely encouraging the others to follow. down a dimly-lit, steep and narrow staircase they went step by step, the sprightly song hovering in the space around them providing a sense of exciting possibility. new molly knew the words and she sang with a lilting voice that could only come from one who was happy and free. arriving at the entrance of what appeared to be a stone encased tunnel, the tiger king stopped and faced old molly and the grahams who were looking around at a collage of brightly-colored murals on the stucco walls that could have been painted by each one of them. the absence of music and singing was replaced with the distant sound of dripping water. "we are always on our way to somewhere," the king said. new molly rested her cheek on top of the tiger king's furry head and clasped her hands together under his chin. "we must never stay in one place. there is something new every day to see. let's go!" he turned around then with new molly tossing her golden curls towards the others who gazed up at her. she threw a piercing look straight into old molly's eyes that went straight to her heart like a well aimed arrow. she felt it as one who sips a drink that is way too hot and must spit it out lest they suffer a burnt tongue. the tunnel was pitch black upon entering. the others immediately lost sight of the tiger king and new molly. "wait!" old graham yelled, stopping. his voice was empty and hollow in the vast blackness of the tunnel and was quickly swallowed up by the dripping water. the old molly and new graham bumped into him with an awkward stumbling. "we are going to lose sight of you." "just keep going!" the tiger king called out with a unmistakeable tinge of laughter, but they could tell by the distance in his voice that he was already a good twenty yards in front. 100911 ... crowli still perched in the place of honor upon the strong shoulders of the Tiger King, the new molly allowed herself to be carried further and further into the darkness. she couldn't see a thing, but she wasn't afraid, in fact she was literally tingling with anticipation, and couldn't seem to wipe the smug, confident smile from her face. she laid her head on top of the furry mask once again, and feeling the softness of it caress her cheek, she closed her eyes and breathed in deep, giving in to his soothing scent as she hummed quietly to herself.    as the Tiger King moved forward, his pace quickened, eventually synchronizing with the steady, hypnotic drip, drip, drip of the water they were fast approaching. she heard the cries and shouts from behind her becoming more and more faint, although the escalating desperation in them was not compromised by the distance. 'graham is afraid....maybe we should stop and wait,' molly thought to herself, feeling an unwelcome twinge of guilt wrap around her conscience.  although she considered the arrival of their dopplegangers, especially her own, an extreme intrusion, she abandoned her selfishness in the moment she realized that she wanted her graham by her side. sensing her obvious conflict, the king abruptly stopped, startling her. "do you want to wait for him?"  his query was a forceful sounding whisper.  she remained silent as she tried to ascertain how he had read her thoughts while she simultaneously considered her answer.  the hint of impatience she heard in his voice carried the suggestion that his preference was to keep going without the others, and when she finally opened her mouth to speak, she was silenced when he spoke first.  "if we wait for your graham, then we must wait for all three of them. but you must understand that i chose you to arrive first, my dear girl." he spoke gently now, and his words caressed her as they were heard. "you deserve to be first because you're different than them....you are special molly....i have plans for you."   "i don't know what to do." she said, whimpering, suddenly feeling helpless. but her tiny, concerned voice was swallowed by his footfalls as he began to walk further into the blackness.           100911 ... cr0wl meanwhile, the distance lengthened dramatically between them as they journeyed onwards. the new graham had devised a way to keep the three together through a clever fanangling of his and old graham's leather belts but it proved to be time consuming and when old molly tried calling out for the neglectful tiger king, her desperate plea went unanswered, echoing lifelessly in the damp expanse of the black tunnel. they shuffled forwards with new graham placing both arms stiff and straight out lest he encounter a blind obstacle. he rotated them with a smooth motion left to right, his fingers trembling with cautious exertion. old molly, connected and tightly cinched to both grahams, wrestled with a fear that continuously threatened to overwhelm her, yet she went on, her senses awakened and on red alert to the absence of sight and the endless anxiety of danger. "what do we do now?" molly asked. the fragile tone of her question caught in her throat like a hapless fly in a spider's sticky web. "i think as long as we can hear the water we just need to head towards it," new graham said, tugging ahead. molly stumbled and dropped to one knee. the grahams stopped having felt the slack and bumped heads in an effort to help her up. all three tittered in embarrassed unison. once righted the old graham suggested a diversion from their nervous progress. "let's play a game," he announced. "ok," new graham agreed. "what's it called?" he jutted out his arms once more. "what animal am i?" old graham suggested. "alright," molly jumped in. "i'm first. i've got one." "are you little or big?" old graham asked. "oh, i'm big!" molly exclaimed. "are you from africa?" new graham shot out. "i am," molly hesitated, ending her statement with the accentuation on the word "am." "easy," old graham burst forth. "you're an elephant!" before molly could respond, she emitted a blood curdling scream. the force of her halting urgency caused all three of them to fall in an awkward heap to the damp, slick cobblestones. molly's panic turned into a series of breathless shrieks. "WHAT'S WRONG MOLLY?!" old graham yelled. he managed to find her shoulders and attempted to quell her shrill cries but to no avail. all she could manage to form into words was something attacking her head and being trapped in her hair. moments later, after new graham had managed to locate the source of her horror and was able with fearless commitment to remove it, she was reduced to gasps of relief. "it was only a bat," new graham said, chuckling nervously. 100912 ... crowli “how do you know it was just a bat?” old graham shot back, his angry vociferous utterance echoing into the darkness. “and really,” he huffed through clenched teeth, “how is it even one bit funny?! she’s terrified!” old graham couldn’t see his molly, but he could tell she was crying now, because her soft sniffles were audibly competing with her labored raspy gasps for air. her voice sounded defeated and chillingly strangled, alarming him when she finally spoke. “graham, i can’t breathe....”she choked out, promptly erupting into tearful sobs. when he pulled her against him in an attempt to soothe her by gently rubbing her back, felt her heart thudding against his own chest. “c’mon mol’ you gotta get it together….breath in through your nose and out through your mouth like we do in karate.” “i’m s…s…sorry graham. i sh…sh….should have n…n…never talked you into coming here with me. this is s…s…s….such a mess, and i’m so scared.” old graham continued to rub molly’s back and he gently rocked her back and forth recalling how this used to help his little cousin gregory when he was a baby. the three of them sat wordlessly on the damp stone floor in a tethered, tangled clump of arms and legs, remaining collectively at a loss as to what to do next. “maybe we should turn back.” old graham whispered quietly over molly’s shoulder in the direction of new graham, shrugging his shoulders in obvious indecision. molly suddenly blew out her breath in a swift mini gust as her whole body stiffened in his arms, and old graham felt his hair waft away from his cheek as she pushed abruptly away from him. “no! we c...c...cannot turn back...she is all alone with that Tiger King, and i don’t trust him now...i feel her graham...she’s afraid...she needs us.” 100912 ... cr0wl the tiger king moved through the tunnel with all the grace of a figure skater. he never walked in a straight line, more so in a series of serpentine arcs that molly could only describe as some sort of effortless dance. she swore she was floating on air and actually fell asleep to the comforting sounds of his baritone whistling, dreaming of silent snow falling like millions of pieces of ripped paper as she buried her pink cheeks in his orange, white, and black fur. she woke, feeling his strong hands under her limp arms lifting her and placing her like a vase of cut summer flowers on a glass tabletop. the dripping of water was thundering now and as she opened her eyes, she could see it descending with obvious power from a great distance above her, tumbling over slick stones with impressive force and landing in a rock formed pool about the size of a large school bus. several massive torches burned in a staggered line nearby offering a generous amount of welcoming light. she inhaled instinctively in an effort to gain perspective of her new space and the freshness of the water mixed with the tiger king's earthy fragrance enlivened her. "it's so beautiful here," new molly said, stepping up to the pool. she dipped her hand in and was surprised to find the water was warm. she looked up at the tiger king who stood beside her and she suddenly remembered her dream. her eyebrows lifted with wonder. "things are not always what they seem to be," he said and then in a movement so swift and unexpected, he sprung upwards and dove into the pool, cutting into it like a steel knife into the velvet icing of a birthday cake. molly jumped back perplexed. seconds later, she was shocked to see that the tiger king was now a graceful shark glimmering just under the surface of the shimmering water, slapping it with his tail and delicately splashing her. she jumped back giggling with amazement but was soon forced to swallow it back when she moved closer to get a better look at him and discovered his open mouth full of razor sharp teeth. while she began to process the extent of her fear, he leaped back out of the water and before she could contemplate what was happening, he was behind her, returned to his original state as masked tiger king, completely dry as if what he just accomplished had all just occurred within molly's imagination. "oh my god!" she yelled, clapping her hands. "that was incredible!" the tiger king bowed like a performer. 100913 ... crowli “i will take you places beyond your wildest imagination, molly. you’re about to embark upon the adventure of a lifetime.” “you are absolutely amazing!” new molly exclaimed, and she threw her head back and hooted with laughter again and again, obviously enchanted with the tiger king’s magical abilities. she waited in wide-eyed wonder for his amusing performance to continue, but her enthusiasm dampened when his disposition once again turned serious. he stood silently, curiously watching her as if he was searching for some hidden answer to an unspoken question, and although he appeared to be looking at her, molly began to feel as though he was looking inside her. ‘he is so confusing...’ she thought to herself, as she squirmed uncomfortably in place, nervously shuffling her feet and wringing her hands together while she waited for him to speak. “you worry with good reason, molly.” his voice gently purred. “our life is a journey, a maze, if you will, filled with different paths and many, many choices. however, you must always remember that the way that appears to be the easiest, or perhaps the most entertaining, may not always be safe.” as molly considered his words carefully, she instantly thought of graham, and with a stab of remorse, she frowned slightly to herself, recalling how she had chosen to abandon him without a second thought. averting her gaze, she walked away from the tiger king and over to the pool of water. turning her back to him, she balanced herself on the moss covered water-splashed rocks, and kicking off her jeweled slippers and hiking up her gown, she dangled her bare feet into the warm fluid. leaning her body over to hug her thighs, she kicked splashes of water across the already-disturbed surface, watching absently as her resultant ripples were swallowed by the continuous waves created by the crash of the waterfall. suddenly she realized she was happy and sad at the same time. the tiger king approached her from behind, sneaking up on her so stealthily that she flinched reflexively when she felt him touch her hair. he sat down next to her, and ran his splayed fingers dotingly over and over again through her golden curls. he resumed his whistling, and molly let herself relax, and giving in to his tender hypnotic tune, she leaned her body into his chest allowing herself to nestle comfortably into his secure embrace. basking in the warmth and affection he was showing her, she did not fight sleep when it came. she felt so safe with him. ‘this feels right...’ she mused as she drifted into a dream.... ...they were terrified. all of them. both grahams were standing in the center of a fire-rimmed shallow pit, completely surrounded by hissing snakes...and molly...the other molly...she was standing on the edge...she was screaming shrilly...she was saying, “MOLLY PLEASE HELP US!!!” new molly awakened abruptly, gasping for breath as she forced her way back into conscious thought, her heart pounding precariously in her chest. the tiger king, who had been holding her tenderly while she slept, dropped his arms, unexpectedly loosening his embrace and startling molly, and as she struggled to balance herself on the edge of the narrow rocks without his support, she heard him chuckle coldly in an unmistakably malevolent tone. when the tiger king moved to stand up, molly lost her balance again, and his robe fluttered around her face as he towered to his full imposing height above her. she looked up at him inquisitively, but remained quietly perplexed and slightly alarmed by his change in demeanor. ‘why is he laughing like that?’ she wondered to herself. ‘he sounds mean.’ “look, here,” he said, pointing to the pool of water. molly hadn’t realized it initially, but the waterfall had stopped flowing while she was asleep, and the room had become noiseless and surface of the pool was now tranquilly still. she stared at the mirror-like water, noticing the glimmer of the torch lights upon its surface, but then, upon closer inspection, she detected a reflection in the pool. was it a figure? a person? puzzled, molly whipped her head up and around swiftly in an attempt to locate its source, but upon seeing nothing out of the ordinary, she turned back to the water, only to see that the image had sharpened somewhat. it was her very own face staring back at her. but yet she knew it wasn’t really her because the features did not match her own. this molly looked sad, and had arms that were reaching forward, while she herself was clearly not moving. “hey!!! that looks just like me!” she shrieked into the hushed room, a broad smile now creeping across her lips. “how in the world did you do that?” she said, laughing incredulously, her wide brown eyes blinking up at the king in apparent awe. giggling at his masterful talent, she turned back to the reflection expectantly, but this time, her jaw slackened as her eyes widened in shock and a knot began to form in her stomach. her face was now gone, but was replaced with an eerily blurred image of graham; his pleading grim eyes staring out at her. “oh my god, wait, it’s graham. is he okay?” she demanded, whirling around to face the tiger king. but molly sucked in her breath when she realized the tiger king was not there. 'what?' she thought...her brow furrowing as she listened intently to his sinister laughter echoing off of the stone walls. “WHERE ARE YOU?” she cried into the emptiness. she glanced erratically in all directions, like a frantic frightened rabbit, but to no avail. she was alone. the waterfall suddenly started flowing again, completely replacing the sound of his laughter with its rushing force, and molly swallowed hard past the lump of fear in her throat while she wrapped her arms around her own torso. she was shivering. 100913 ... cr0wl old molly, with a deep-breathed resolve and renewed sense of determination, picked herself off the cobblestones and waited while the grahams rearranged their leather belt hold on her. they resumed their journey towards the sound of the water in silence, each of them in their own way realizing they were clueless and had no idea where they were going and what would happen next. new graham tied his hair back into a gum band pony tail, put his arms straight out again with rigid insistence and stepped forward feeling the responsible weight of his partners behind him. molly placed her hands above her head with outstretched fingers raised as a system of bat defense lest one fly out of the darkness and attack her again. old graham broke the stillness of their obvious anxiety by offering another game but they ignored him. this was not a time for frivolity, their stillness told him. this is all about survival. new graham thought about the absence of molly and her secret connection to the tiger king. he knew his ambiguous appeal was a temptation no one could resist, yet the mystery that swirled around him like a thick fog was a danger she would have to face and what he knew of her adventurous spirit forced worry upon him. if they were to make it to the water, would they find her? would she be alright? his chest hurt as he breathed in and he knew it was the friendship he felt for her trapped like a caged bird, flapping its wings in a desperate attempt to escape. onward they stepped, one foot in front of the other, the rasping, hushed sound of their breathing becoming a dissonant rhythm of their determination. "stop!" molly said, her voice breaking with brittle fragility. new graham obeyed and turned around in the darkness. "what is it?" he asked. he tried to make out her face, but could only see the shadowy, suggestive blur of her countenance. old graham reached forward and found her shoulders and squeezed. it was something his father did to him to help him calm down. "i can't do this anymore! this is crazy we're going nowhere!" she cried and her words seemed to fall from her mouth like glass hitting the bricks at her feet and crashing into hundreds of pieces. both grahams simultaneously reached out for her and embraced her until her sobs quieted. they traded whispers of comfort and encouragement while she sniffled and wiped the tears from her dampened cheeks and curls. "HOLY CHRIST!" old graham suddenly shrieked. he dropped to the ground backwards knocking molly and the new graham sideways. there was a new sound, a high pitched screaming of animal origin followed by old graham's grunting, more swearing, and finally a sickening thud. molly began to wail but the new graham scrambled and found her, drawing her straight to his chest. her muffled screams dissolved into his robe. "guys, i just got bit by a fucking rat." 100914 ... crowli she couldn't seem to control herself from shaking, and she noticed she was shivering and sweating at the same time. this was not cold, new molly realized. this was the clutching talons of raw fear she was experiencing, and as her breathing reduced to shallow quick bursts in and out, her lips started to go numb. she was as helpless as an abandoned kitten. "what could i have been thinking to trust him so completely?!" her forceful exclamation shot forth and filled the confines of stone room, and although it hung briefly in the air, it rapidly lost its battle with the cacophony of the waterfall, and her heartfelt plea simply drifted downward like the remnants of a cardboard firework, as it died a silent death. as defeat threatened to consume her, molly started to feel the room closing in. darkness crept into her peripheral vision and a high pitched whining sound seemed to appear simultaneously from nowhere. her knees buckled, and using her left shoulder and arm to guide her, she slid down the stone wall toward the floor. she felt the roughness of it rubbing against the exquisite fabric of her gown leaving trails of white brush burns in the plush velvet silk, but she did not feel discomfort. she felt nothing but shame, in fact, and hot tears streamed unchecked down her freckled cheeks, spattering haphazardly onto her neck and chest.   when she was within inches of the safety of a sitting position on the floor, the beaded sleeve of her gown suddenly caught on a sharp edge of mortar, and molly heard the exquisite fabric shred in the same moment she felt the excruciating flash of pain. the fleshy roundness of her shoulder had torn open across the jagged edge, and as her right hand reflexively reached up to cup the wound, she instantly felt the warm ooze of blood seep through her fingers. the pain was so severe that she saw stars, and when she made an attempt at a scream, she was unable to form a sound. when molly pulled her hand away and saw the crimson droplets fall over her clipped white fingernails and onto the fabric stretching taut across her thighs, the blackness overtook her, and giving in to the overwhelm of body and mind, she lost consciousness. molly's upper body doubled over like a falling tree, and as the image of her graham flitted quickly through her mind then disappeared, her cheek met the cool floor with a sickening thud.             100914 ... cr0wl upon hearing old graham's distressed announcement concerning the sudden rat bite, new graham calmed molly down enough to rush to his doppelganger's aid. he stumbled about in the darkness to find the afflicted area on his right leg, just above the ankle. he could feel the slick viscosity of the blood and dabbed at it with the sleeve of his shirt. he fumbled, but managed to rip a part of the material at his waist and fastened a crude bandage about the wound to arrest the bleeding. "god, that must have hurt!" he said. old graham moaned but stood up, needing the strength of new graham's hands as a crutch. he lost his balance and when he tried to put weight on it he almost fell, then quickly righted himself. "come on," he said, his voice acquiring the weakened tone of one who knows he's injured but denies it because he can't accept that his life has unexpectedly been altered by tragedy. "i'm alright. we have to keep going." new graham helped molly to her feet and she, murmuring comforting words, reached out for old graham, placing her hand around his left arm while new graham took the right and on they went little by little, listening for the sound of the water, leery of bats and rats and other things their paranoid minds were imagining. 100915 ... crowli completely unbeknownst to new molly, the tiger king had not disappeared at all. he had, however, transformed himself into a magnificent emerald green butterfly. he had been sitting silently perched on the rocks right next to molly during her entire struggle, watching her, although she had not noticed him. he had not intended for her to become injured, or to faint, however the scheme he had crafted to knock some 'good sense into her' had come off exactly as he had planned. it was true that he had always admired molly's intelligence, quick wit, self confidence and her spark; so much so that he had chosen her specifically to be the first to arrive at this important juncture. however, after watching her closely since her arrival, he had been somewhat amused to find she was, at times, quite a loose cannon. her demeanor seemed to change like the wind, and based upon the situation she found herself in, she could behave with grace and composure, as well as become manipulative and even cocky. he had seen her turn against others when he had expected helpful camaraderie, and worse than that, she had begun to demonstrate a neediness for his affection which simply wouldn't do. but her downfalls, he reasoned, were temporary, and could be overcome. what would save her was what mattered the most, and that was the fact that above and beyond her obvious faults, she was honest. and she loved with her whole heart. he had been manipulating molly's dreams for years, and had taught her well. but now that he had her in person, he realized that she still had a few things to learn.     "well now darling, there's been a change of plans..." he said to her limp form as he materialized once again into his imposing human form. since he was well aware that she couldn't hear him or see him at this point, he removed his mask and set the furry head down next to her bare feet. he pulled apart the dark brown stained fabric of her torn sleeve and carefully assessed the injury site, and he was relieved when he saw that though the gash was deep and ragged, the bleeding had halted. he effortlessly lifted her tiny frame and carried her across the floor. he stopped briefly in front of the enchanted pool, and with a quick wave of his gold and red velvet cloaked arm, the waterfall suddenly stopped flowing at his unspoken command. he watched vigilantly until the dark water transformed back into an undisturbed mirror-like surface before nodding to himself in satisfaction and moving on. the tiger king laid molly on her back atop a down filled, overstuffed ivory silk settee which looked oddly out of place within the rustic earthy room. he positioned its plump pillows underneath her head and her knees, and once he was sure that she was comfortable, he reached into a box at his feet, and magically pulled out the first aid materials he needed to safely dress her cut. the tiger king knew he could make her arm whole again with a single thought, but he refrained. instead, he cleaned it, sanitized it, and applied a special salve which he procured from an unmarked silver and red tube before finally concealing her angry, torn skin beneath a white bandage. he thought to himself, 'i'm sorry i can't fix this one for you, kid, but you need this wound and its subsequent scar as a reminder.' and so, as he gently wiped the smudges of dirt from her bruised cheek with a cool cloth and cleaned the blood from her hand, the tiger king silently reflected on the other three who were still finding their way blindly through the dangerous tunnel. they too were being tested, and they were struggling. but they were learning.  he commanded his thoughts to simultaneously translate into molly's dream.     finally assured that molly was out of immediate physical danger, the tiger king commenced whistling a familiar tune in an effort to revive her. he pulled a vial of lavender oil out of his box, and after rubbing a few drops of it into his hands, he wafted it above her peaceful face. she was breathing deeply and evenly now, and when her eyes began to flutter he smiled, stood up, and quickly returned to the pool in order to retrieve and reposition his mask, knowing she would awaken soon.                            100915 ... cr0wl the rat bite which old graham had sustained, sudden and unexpected as a strike of cosmic lightning, was hurting with an intensity he had never experienced. he felt it like one who has felt the loss accompanied with the death of a parent. it sent ripples through his bloodstream, so much so, that every inch of his being radiated from the shock. every moment he ached. life was nothing but the next breath, each one a possibility of his ruin. the bandage was saturated with his pepper red blood and it dried carmine under his pant leg, tattooing his calf with a river running through a barren desert. the center of the wound, where the rat had chomped down, six jack-hammer bites in one second into his muscle next to the tibia, exposing its glistening hallucus longus, was on fire. he needed stitched without question. new graham told a story as they moved onwards, their pace careful and slow. old graham couldn't place any weight on his right foot, for each time he did he cringed with the sensation of a nail being pounded into his flesh. however, he liked to hear his doppelganger's voice. there was almost a foreign inflection, as if he had traveled to other worlds and had lived amongst the people long enough to pick up the fashion of the way they spoke. he told them the tale of "bon joe, the elephant that saved the zoo." molly also took cheer, especially when new graham described how bon joe sprayed the children with water and the parents got angry. he even did all the voices. when it was over, molly, here eye catching a very faint circle of light at the end of the tunnel, gasped and pointed. "oh my god!" she squeezed old graham's arm. "it looks like a star!" the grahams remained quiet now they saw it. it grew larger every second for they realized it was moving towards them, growing brighter like the successive bloom of a flower. they turned to observe each other in the long-awaited effulgence and couldn't help but hug one another with reunited fondness, blinking incessantly as their eyes struggled to become reaquainted with sight. still it came and when it was near enough to recognize they observed the figure of a man. yet, as it approached yet closer, they saw it was not human, but made entirely from fireflies, millions of them. as they looked on with enchantment, a glow of ineffable wonder painted them gold, as if the sun had warmed honey and dipped them. "bring him here," a voice spoke from the throng. as the statement was uttered from the hovering insects, their bodies, pulsing with liquid pheromones, transformed into what appeared to be a couch-like aeroplane, which would easily accommodate the three of them. they recognized the tiger-king's fatherly tone immediately. new graham and old molly obeyed. with consideration and tender respect, they helped their injured companion into the tunnel-ship. old graham grimaced but was able to fit himself in. old molly thought the fireflies felt like pine needles. the warmth they gave off was like sleeping naked under wool blankets in the winter. they emitted a fragrance of brushed rosemary. "it's almost time for the carnival," the voice spoke once more. they could feel the vibrations race through their bodies. and off they flew, their speed like a horse drawn carriage, into the expanse of the tunnel. 100916 ... crowli 'where am i?' the new molly asked herself, craning her neck slowly back and forth like a curious turtle as she absorbed her new surroundings. after rubbing vigorously at her eyes, she squeezed them tightly closed for a moment before opening them again only to shake her head puzzlingly while her brain struggled and failed to process what she was seeing. 'this is so weird,' she thought to herself. she breathed in deep, smiling as the lavender scented humid air filled her, commanding her with it's thick pungency to relax. the lighting was dim, but yet she could see, and strangely, the colors of absolutely everything she looked at were definitively all wrong. she had somehow wandered into some sort of indoor garden, but had no clue as to how she had gotten there.  molly ambled to her feet, and furrowed her brow as she curiously studied a yellow-trunked tree next to her. she touched its oddly enchanting neon hued bark and mused that it felt like it should. in front of her in the plush red grass was a small wooden sign on a two-foot post, planted squarely and purposefully at the base of the tree. its purple bold letters announced, "nicht berühren." 'wonder what that means?' she considered, but her silent question was instantly obliterated by her own ear splitting scream, for when she raised her arm to finger the low hanging butter-soft aqua blue and mango colored leaves, a figurative hot poker of searing pain shot lightning fast through her deltoid muscle, jolting her into instantaneous uncontrollable tears. "oooooowwww! what the hell!?" she shrieked.  the peaceful quiet of this newfound albeit unusual paradise was unexpectedly shattered into a million brittle pieces as molly crumpled to the ground in a heap. this perplexed her. reaching under her sleeve, she touched her shoulder gently with her other hand while she twisted her neck on an odd angle in an effort to see what had caused the excruciating pain, but all that was there was the faint remnant of a scar. and then, as fast and intensely as the pain had come, it was gone. molly shrugged both shoulders as she returned her attention to the sign again, which was now directly in front of her face.  'nicht beruhren.'  'hmmmmm....' she thought again.  she raised her eyebrows in surprise when she saw a rabbit suddenly hop over to her. he was large, about the size of a small dog, and of the floppy-eared and adorable variety. molly squeezed her eyes shut again, and upon opening them, shook her head in disbelief. he was a brilliant shade of emerald green! and he had stunning blue eyes! "well, look at you!" she said, and she watched him curiously as he stepped nonchalantly out of the blood red grass and onto the black and orange cobblestones to sniff molly's toes, never once taking his eyes off of hers as he sized her up. "i must be dreaming..." molly shot forth absently as she studied the peculiar bunny intently. but she nearly jumped out of her skin when the rabbit answered her in a voice she would know anywhere. it was the tiger king's.  "the sign says, 'DON'T TOUCH.' so why'd you touch it, huh? how did you like that pain?" he said, snickering. "i....well, ummmm, i.... i didn't know what it meant....wait a minute, am i dreaming?" she asked. "of course you're dreaming, child. but you will need to remember this. you are dreaming_in_color, the tiger king rabbit said. "why?" molly asked. "i would rather not remember that pain." "there are a few reasons." the rabbit boomed, tempting molly to dissolve into a puddle of giggles as she watched the tiny mouth booming with the tiger king's voice, but she bit her tongue until she sobered, tasting blood while he continued. "first, always remember, if you don't understand words, you must seek their meanings. that which remains misunderstood will only cause confusion and difficulty with your decision making." molly silently regarded him as he went on. "next, you must obey any and all warning signs that you come in contact with. warnings are placed purposefully for your protection. know what you are capable of, molly. the sign was a gentle warning. the pain was a stronger warning. you cause pain and you endure pain. learn from both of these."  molly nodded solemnly in agreement, not batting an eyelash over the fact that she was taking advice from a green, talking rabbit. she watched him hop into the red grass, and as she bowed her head into her chest, she closed her eyes and reflected on his words of wisdom. when she opened her eyes again, she sat up and sucked in her breath as the recollection of her reality slowly resurfaced with the sight of the stone-lined pool.  she remembered her dream fully, and as she stood up slowly, her first thought was of graham. she had to find him. and so, she put one foot in front of the other, and walked to the opening of the tunnel.           100916 ... cr0wl new molly peered into its raven black depths and saw one single light. it was not a star, she thought she saw, like her replicated version somewhere swallowed up in its dank belly, more like a spark of fire, when one is cold and alone, in need of warmth. it grew rounder and brighter even as she watched it. forming in her as well, like a moon enlarging its pregnant fullness, a sense that she would see her graham again. she was correct. the tunnel ship, created from millions of pulsating fireflies flew, cutting its graceful wake through the stream of darkness. even from fifty feet away, new graham anticipating the possibility of sighting his absent molly, called out to her, his voice sounding like a bird in a forest of whispering hemlocks, loud, but strained, as if he should call again he might choke or cough. she heard him and she felt a rush of blood to her belly. what was that feeling? she attempted a definition. she knew graham was her friend, her only friend, but there was something more, like you would have to go on a vast adventure or plant it in the earth to finally understand what it was, because it was only after you committed yourself to its growth and development, that you could discover what was inside the seed. new graham leaped off the ship of insects and hit the cobblestones running. new molly felt her heart galloping. her cheeks were burning. her wound hurt but she didn't allow the pain to distress this moment. they came together like a meteor hitting the earth. "you're injured," new graham said to her, softly touching her wound and wincing. "what happened?" "i'm fine," she said, gushing. her words flew from her mouth like moths chasing one another in a circle. new graham pulled apart from her and rushed back to the ship as it arrived. the two mollys exchanged gazes, settling on one another for a long second. in that space and time, they traded visions and memories, their experiences like bridges. new molly, looking down into the ship and beholding the blood stain on old graham's leg, cried out as if she was feeling the pain of her wound at the same time he felt his and it brought a fresh wave of tears to her eyes but she blinked them away and no one but old molly knew she was sad. "let me help you," new molly said, extending her hand. 100917 ... crowli as new molly's outstretched hands hung expectantly in the space between them, old graham watched her open and close her eyes over and over again, and he knew she was fighting back a river of threatening tears. he sighed as a lone drop made a slow descent past her freckles, stopping to rest in the heart shaped cleft of her upper lip. molly made no move to wipe it away, leaving her arms outstretched to make her meaning very clear; she wanted to help him. old graham sensed that something had changed within her, yet he was reluctant at the moment to fully trust her, and firmly planting his hands between his knees, he stubbornly but purposefully stiffened, deliberately ignoring her offer to assist him. he had watched her reunite with new graham, and had experienced something stir deep within himself that didn’t quite make sense. he understood that his double may have been willing to forgive her for what she had done, they were obviously as close as he and his molly. but as the memory of her on the tiger king’s shoulders, wearing that smug smile flashed before him, he shook his head grimly. 'i am not letting her off the hook just because she's crying.' he thought to himself. new molly was well aware that she had crossed the line when she had chosen to take the secret adventure with the tiger king. she had let her friends down; let herself down, and she would need to prove her loyalty in order to regain trust. she tried to lock eyes with old graham with a silent plea of exoneration, but he quickly turned away, avoiding her gaze in a way that suggested he knew he would see a truth he was not ready to accept. old molly had been watching their entire exchange, and she did not miss what her graham could not see. old molly felt the pain in new molly's expression, and they sighed in unison as their exasperation at his indifference became obvious. old molly, for the first time, felt comfortable in her double’s presence, and knowing what new molly had overcome since they had separated had strangely made them closer. ‘there is always a reason, a message in very choice and every experience...and she got hers.’ old molly thought, and she reached over to her doppelganger and gently squeezed her hand in encouragement. as old graham’s gaze settled upon his best friend, he tried to smile at her, but his facial expression could not compete with the excruciating pain he was experiencing. the end result was a grimace she couldn’t interpret. he blew out the breath he had been holding and said, "can you help me, mol'? i don't think i can stand up." she nodded and stood up warily, expecting the firefly ship to rock like a canoe, but it did not move. "here, hold on to me around my neck," she said softly, and he obeyed. she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him up and toward her, pressing his full weight onto her chest. she anchored her back against the buzzing, live, glowing wall of fireflies behind her for balance while new graham positioned himself in front of them to help her to lift him out. but as soon as graham was upright, his head flopped forward onto molly's shoulder, and as his arms slackened their assistive hold, his legs buckled underneath him and they fell together. "he passed out! help me!" molly yelled into his shoulder, her muffled voice taking on a panicked inflection as she fought to get herself free from his heaviness. new graham did nothing but stare at them helplessly. he was immobilized by fear, and absently wondering why his own leg had begun to throb. new molly, recalling her dream briefly, sprang into action as though she was a trained professional rescuer. she hurtled her body into the brightly lit ship like she was on a pre-ordained mission, and she nudged herself in close to her double, wedging her body partially underneath graham with the intention of taking some of his weight off of old molly. she barked out a stream of orders in an authoritative manner, but old molly noticed that her words came out gentle and caring, not bossy. "graham, jump up here, i need you to grab his feet....molly, you and i can lift him if we share the burden. i think he is in shock or something." new graham stared with his mouth gaping at the crusted, rust colored blood on graham's pant leg. and he still did not move. "GRAHAM! please...get it together..... help us....i need you...he needs you!" new molly shrieked. the frantic panic in her voice got his attention, and new graham blinked twice, then jumped up into the strange ship, readying himself to take on the majority of old graham's weight. "on three we'll lift him....ready?"said old molly. "one, two three!" new molly yelled, and the three of them hoisted graham carefully up, and his unconscious weight felt like it had tripled as they awkwardly clamored out of the soft bed of the strange ship. the two mollys worked together, like a well-oiled machine, and with new graham's help, they were able to transport him safely to the ivory settee, eventually setting him down gingerly on the plush, overstuffed silk. huffing and puffing with exertion, the three of them looked at old graham's ashen face with concern, but shared a collective moment of raw fear as the cream colored fabric under his leg quickly turned starkly crimson. "we need to do something." new graham said, his voice trailing off uncertainly. old molly fell to her knees, and blinded by tears and choking on the lump in her throat, she pulled up his blood soaked pant leg to look at his wound in the light. what was left of her color drained from her face. "i've never seen anything like this....he needs a doctor right now....what should we do?" new molly did not speak. instead, she bent her body in half, and tore at the bottom seam of her beautiful gown, marring it with her hands until she had procured a three foot long swatch of the velvet fabric. she took it over to the pool of water, and dipped it into the warm water, soaking it. she went back to graham and maneuvered his pant leg in order to fully expose his wound. it was hard to imagine that the bite was still bleeding. it was deep into the muscle, and the gruesome sight evoked instantaneous nausea, but she bravely fought against the uncontrollable gagging and got to work. she handed the wet piece of her dress to old molly, and upon noticing that the make-shift belt tourniquet had slipped, she removed it and repositioned it above graham’s knee. she nodded toward the others with satisfaction when they all saw that the bleeding had slowed down considerably. she reached for the wet cloth, and started to clean the blood from around the wound. but it did not seem to matter how hard she tried, it would not come clean. old molly laid her head on her graham's chest and prayed, for it was in that moment that her worst fear moved to the forefront of her thoughts. 'what if he dies?' she swallowed hard as she stole a sideways glance at her double and then at new graham. both were crying silent tears. 'i need to fix this,' new molly thought. "and just how are you planning to fix this?" old molly shot back, lifting her head as she heard new molly's thoughts. her angry tone did not disguise the dread she felt, however. the possibility of losing her best friend was rapidly draining her hope. "well?" she said, looking at her likeness expectantly through a blurry haze of tears, knowing she was in a sense asking herself a question she had no good answer for. they needed a miracle. “i will be right back...i'm going for help. and believe me, i'll do whatever it takes." new molly said fiercely, and she stood up confidently and walked away from the other three for the second time; but this time she was one hundred percent certain she was doing the right thing. 100917 ... cr0wl mg_02 100918 what's it to you? who go blather from