better soia I guess I'm feeling "better" it doesn't occupy 999/1000 of my thoughts today I find myself lecturing myself everywhere I go "you have to let this happen" "you know things weren't going well" "you did something horrible, but you need to figure out how to fix yourself, not hate yourself" and I realize that even though I may have never considered getting a lot of the things I have if it weren't for him, it's not because I don't like those things, i just didn't know about them, so I should be thankful and I try not to keep punishing myself I know we both need to figure out how to get better and I know that while I'm crying every night since we've been "apart", he was crying while we were still together, and so it's obvious something had to be done this is hard. this hurts. 010302 ... belly fire don't let them tell you your secrets are worth keeping the only words you'll ever regret are the ones you didn't say 021217 ... claire For better or for worse. 040713 ... nom i'm feeling a lot better 060423 ... Q better scared than sorry 060719 ... nom i'm feeling a lot better 060817 ... dries&hardens is so relative and does not properly describe my outright elation it really does it no justice at all elation, too, is only a somewhat better description it's really all very relative 060818 ... is che better 080604 ... epitome of incomprehensibility Suddenly I'm feeling better, health-wise. I don't know how it happened. I hope it lasts. It's rather annoying to spend the first five minutes of each day coughing up phlegm instead of daydreaming up improbable goals. "Productive" cough, ha. I guess the spit is just as productive as the planning... which reminds me to get back to my callous hyphen-catching, while hoping I'm getting incrementally better at being useful to people while remaining artistically active. Better, better at. Bitter butter batter. 141021 ... e_o_i Not really. I had a bit of a fever again and I couldn't sleep. But I stayed in bed until noon, just resting, and then I was able to get to work: finally I got the damn Caribbean travel editing thing done, and before I had to tutor. 141022 ... gja thinks that better is relative 170321 what's it to you? who go blather from