never birdmad always happens 010211 ... twiggie i never thought that such a little thing would make me so upset. no, you can't understand. no one really cares all that much, only the other people who went through the same thing. i've lost my appetite i have this feeling of absolute boredom and hopelessness. all because of.... you wouldn't understand. i need to do something. i don't know what though... i'm so pissed off at everything. in a way it's justified...but not really. it doesn't matter to me if it is or isn't. i can only name 3...maybe 4 people other than my mother who've been there for me when i need it. i am beginning to see why the pattern of going to a different school every year was appealing. i thought that'd change this year. it did...but not anymore. i want to leave this place. 010217 ... Sum Deus A sailor's life is the life for me, and I never, ever, ever do a thing about the weather, 'cause the weather never, ever does a thing for me!!!!!!!! 010219 ... sebastian bach never will we go down in flames cause i'm a slave to the grind... singing to myself is always so inspirational. blathering to myself is better. damn, i wish hair metal was still cool. i get lonely sometimes. no one screams out my name when i'm on a stroll anymore. 010511 ... sebastians stalker what the hell do you mean you wish it was still cool?! it IS still cool. just because it isn't "in" or popular or whatever, does not make it uncool. of course, I've been accused on more than one occasion of living in the past. but it was such a damn good time...what I can remember of it anyway. 010511 ... please dear god no not again!! winger? 020326 ... i suck never let them see you sweat who are they they never care about you any way why should they when you hate yourself 030701 ... user24 hard hard hard. addictive, you see. very hard. 040806 ... alone within one self We will probably never meet again.... 040806 ... skinny don't lie down just yet! all caverns are self forming and all caverns lead to the same place, at the same time. (i may be sad right now) i may be sick right now. and i never know the questions to the answers spinning inside of me spilling with riddles that howle when they reach the floor just empty veins thumping along, in sequence with my heart (i can always feel my heart.) there's a graveyard within walking distance of my house. it's existance is like the seeds inside an uneaten fruit. maybe next christmas we can go there and do some acid. no security around then. 050321 ... crOwl land 060727 ... belly fire you say 'never' like you mean it; later finding anger to be finite 060727 ... tilt mind. never ever mind. never ever nevermind. mevernind. nemervind. vemernind. vemer nind. nevemrind. menervind. minerderv. everdinnm. denim vern. nerv mendi. nevermind. vendi nerm. on, vendinerm, i veah thognin ot yas. 070216 ... tilt on_vendinerm_i_veah_thognin_ot_yas 071019 ... faerielord ew lal evha a teltil shintmego ot yas... 081026 ... tiltogram i popsesu ew do. veen het llud dan ginortan vahe trehi rotsy. 090326 what's it to you? who go blather from