anger guitar_freak Exploding with rage at the slightest sound. Screaming with agony to those who are around. Hypocitical of everyone else, yet never realizing. Decieving yourself with the charade you must carry on. Discover your weaknesses. The world is not angry at you, you at it. Change. Please? 010212 ... silentbob i cant think straight i cant see straight i can't see what i'm really angry at only what i want to take it out on anger is so engulfing, i hate it. i always say the wrong thing 010212 ... fallen anger is my gift....but me thinx i've said that before....me thinx it was stated on the other realm of existance....but oh yes.....oh yes...anger is my gift 010212 ... G_wiz13 the powerful force that drives me, and keeps me alive. I breathe anger. I see anger. I eat anger. I sleep anger. Why? because no one can accept me. I am dipised, a faceless no one to all of you. The hatred that runs through me egnites my anger and turns it into a rage of bliss. I scream at the top of my lungs to try and release, but it doesnt help. My anger wont relenquish it's hold until I die. 010213 ... silentbob Calm down kid Don't worry so much about other people's opinions if anything don't get ANGRY about it reject them. 010215 ... belly fire Times when I look in someone's eyes and catch the anger - barely there but I recognize it. I put it there afterall. And I can't look away as I watch it grow, rising in temperature. Swelling inside those eyes and melting downward, to the mouth. I stare after it unable to move my gaze, I long to claim ownership for I have borne it. And this fury looks to me and seeks me out. Perhaps I should fear what I have done but instead I find myself laughing. 020729 ... Cicero Anger causes those we love to abandon us. 021230 ... Alvarny My anger was the result of repulsion and disgust. And none of us have to be sorry for who we are. 050825 ... Sonya It would appear that there is no real hiding place anymore. Everything that I try to keep hidden and safe can ever truly be safe. Some people just do not understand that they have to keep their hands to themselves. They fail to grasp that not everything out there in the world is available for them to paw and stare at. the angry feline 050826 ... leni i have been angry: when falsely accused when sexually harrassed when treated as though stupid when witnessing damaging selfishness when witnessing bullying and prejudice anger is useless though action is useful anger is most destructive to one's self anger's energy can be redirected toward reasoning & effort to effect change angry silence affects only you so i've mostly quit anger meanwhile, fighting is ripping apart the world 060814 ... somniac is all thats left now the rest has faded, washed or burnt away 070207 ... somniac although yours has not, apparently. 080216 ... zedel I'm scared to find out that we need fear and anger as much as we need beauty and love 100121 ... nr i am so fucking tired of feeling threatened and distrusting of men because of this emotion that so many of them exhibit. 211008 ... nr unhealthily exhibit, i should clarify. 211008 ... kerry i think it was phil who said anger is external, sadness twisted and spat out of us, that anger is a symptom of sorrow. but what i want to know, is what is rage’s evil twin? Despair? i was walking on 19th and the air was rancid because the garbage hadn’t been picked up on time and someone was setting off fireworks nearby even though it was the middle of the day. tell me how it is, she said. i’d never heard her voice like that. We don’t know each other that well. i told her some of what i’d done, what i’d destroyed, but not everything. she said, i wish you’d told me sooner, you shouldn’t have let it get this bad. it will only get worse. i said, please help me. my righteous anger is fuel. sadness brings me to my knees, and my knees are sore. but my helpless anger is poison; it drains me, leaves me bloodless and limp as an old sock. it crouches in the closet, under the bed, it shrieks scalding out of the showerhead. much of the time i don’t see it coming. it comes sneaking up quiet as a bug, as cam would say. i was raised by an angry man, who himself was raised by an angry man, who was also raised by an angry man. perhaps anger is inherited, like trauma. but i am not raising my hand, i am not coming home drunk at 2am demanding everyone get out of bed and pay attention to me, i am not dumping anyone’s hot spaghetti dinner onto their head for giving me the side-eye. i didn’t know how angry i was until it was pointed out to me. do you see how you are now, he said. do you see yourself? look at your hands, he said. look at the walls, look at the floor. do you know who you are? i was sitting on the floor, saying i don’t know. do i know who i am? what a question. i don’t know. do you? i know who you are, he said. who you really are. this isn’t me, i said, but it was more of a question. no, no. it’s not really you. 211008 ... tender square kerry, i just wanted to write how brave i thought this post was—your honesty here inspires me and blows me away. lately, i’ve been thinking about the tarot reading i got from cathy three years ago (posted in “stage_directions”) where she mentioned i needed to spend more time in my anger. i picked up “dance of anger” this afternoon, to start it over again (i never finished it from earlier this summer) after reading your post. i’m only a few pages in, but i thought these insights from harriet learner may helpful to share with you, or any other woman dealing with anger in their intimate relationships right now: “anger is a signal, and one worth listening to. our anger may be a message that we are being hurt, that our right are being violated, that our needs or wants are not adequately met, or simply that something is not right. our anger tells us that we are not addressing an important emotional issue in our lives, or that too much of our own self—our beliefs, values, desires, or ambitions—is being compromised in a relationship. our anger may be a signal that we are doing more and giving more that we can comfortably do or give. our anger may warn us that others are doing too much for us, at the expense of our own competence and self-growth.” (1) “anger is neither legitimate nor illegitimate, meaningful or pointless. anger simply is. to ask, ‘is my anger legitimate?’ is similar to asking, ‘do i have a right to be thirsty?’” (3) “anger is something we feel. it exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. we all have a right to *everything* we feel and certainly anger is no exception.” (3–4) 211008 ... kerry thanks, tender square. i've never heard of harriet learner, but this idea of anger being a signal of something not being right is spot-on. and i think it's especially perplexing and bewildering when the relationship is the one you have with yourself. 211009 ... unhinged love and rage by lama rod owens and the companion online class i took with him changed my relationship to anger in subtle but important ways (he is also a kagyu lama so i could hear echos of chogyam trungpa in these teachings) wrathful deities in tibetan Buddhism dorje trolo the wrathful forms of tara as is said in the sadhana_of_mahamudra (that came to chogyam trungpa in a sacred cave in bhutan) anger without hate is the action that cleanses all impurities yes when unattended anger easily fizzles out into despair, hate but much like the physical pain response anger is the mental pain response pain is the signal that something is wrong so i sit and poke underneath and refuse to react (reaction is the fan that builds the fire) so that instead i can act from my deepest intention to end all suffering my own AND all the rest i have dorje trolo tattooed on my right rib cage to remind me anger without hate has the power to build a better world for us all 211009 ... unhinged (that was the part of the book and class on love and rage that was like a light bulb or maybe even being bludgeoned over the head, stunned i am not my feelings my anxiety my anger my sadness so long i had wrapped my whole identity up in, as my feelings but none of those things are ME my self my soul my atman they are just signals of work to be done of psychic pain, trauma Working it's way out through_not_around ) 211009 ... nr i want to fight bigotry, injustice, alt-right bullshit and everything else that makes my blood boil. but i get so angry and disappointed in people that the_crying_reflex gets turned on. it's always at the least convenient times. 220120 ... tender_square "this is my new reality," she said. "it's not going to get any easier for him or me. but i do have to take care of me. i'm not going to go into a daily battle with him," she reasoned. "that takes away from the things i can do." "i've been angry that he's not helping more," she said. "i can't focus there." "even when it comes to his drinking, i can't stop him from doing that to himself either." "and it's not 'cause i don't give a shit," she explained. "right now, at this point in his illness, he's just too combative. so i've got to let him be." 220901 ... epitome of incomprehensibility I've given up hitting_and_hating. At least the hitting part. I don't know if giving up anger is possible, though. 220901 ... nr i named this as a current emotion and am trying to allow myself to feel it without guilt 220911 ... tender_square "i guess i just have to shut my mouth," mom said. i've been upset that her first reaction is to resort to yelling, that it shames my father for things he can't control. "he's doing the best that he can, mom." i don't know if she sees it that way. but whether that's a form of denial, or accumulated frustration that he hasn't been the partner she's needed, i'm not sure. 230308 what's it to you? who go blather from