look bespeckled Your eyes sparkled with something more than love today. As we lay on your white sheets, (while you wore your white shirt which hung from your shoulders like a cloud) you looked into my eyes. I saw into you and saw past the love into something deeper, something meaningful. Sincerity stared back at me, giving yourself to me. Your shoulders stood strong above my body, your arms steady towers. But your eyes were gentle, caring, loving, sincere. And I melted into something much like love. 030104 ... tristessa one look you remember things i've told you, things that i've long since forgotten. your flowers are dried and in a glass bottle on my stereo. i look at them sometimes, these bloodflowers with all the color drained to the tips of each petal, deep purple-magenta and pale lilac all elsewhere, just thinking of you makes me feel bad for being anywhere near a computer, as if i should be doing so much other fun stuff because it's summer that i wouldn't even think of going near anything technological, you make me feel guilty about ever being online, for not always being outdoors the way i always am when i'm with you, and i miss you and when i see you hopefully on friday i want to tell you that i missed not being able to talk to you [because talking to you is my favorite part of being anywhere near you even if what we say isn't interesting, or even borders on boring, or maybe it is the surge i get in my neck and arms and down to my fingers when you look at me the way you have for a while now but up until recently i merely thought it was because you were full of confidence and used to looking at people so straight in their eyes as if you could read whatever it is behind their pupils] and when i see you i'd like to walk up and give you a hug Forever! hugging you! always! and not because i want to squeeze myself around you until we both crack all the way up, but because i have a feeling that if i were to just let my arms fall around your shoulders we might fit together as if we were two pieces of a puzzle with the sides touching in all the right places. i'm afraid of everything lately. i'm afraid that i feel more for you than you for me. and i could never tell you anything about the way i am, truly. the way i am at night because i breathe better at night and write better at night, and food tastes better at night, and i'm generally happier at night. i couldn't tell you why i write the stories i do, or if you ever fit into those slots and if so where, or how, because i can't remember your face even though i love it so much, and i adore you in the middle of my chest, but close up to the skin where i am afraid it may choose to oneday break through, and i adore you on the bottom of my feet where i am afraid it may get worn thin, and i adore you on the tip of my nose where i can't see it quite clearly because it is distorted and doubled though i know it can't be That big, and i adore you on my tongue where i keep tasting it and loving it and wanting to swallow it, but can't. 030609 ... belly fire look at yourself seeing yourself into the future he strains along with himself seeing his muscles grow she sees her body lift and sweat watching her complexion glow look at yourself seeing yourself we see ourselves better than we are 031210 ... jesse look at each other.......look at each other....look at each other....look at each other....look at each other..... look at each other.....look at each other....look at each other.....look at each other.....look at each other.... look at each other....look at each other..... *system of a down* 031211 ... lulie autumn takes what autumn must and never looks behind, quick autumn i am doomed to be no beachy death am i. shallow seasons don't compare - it's novembers frost who lingers there. my guest has no idea that i know what they've just discovered. 050609 ... crOwl my favorite look is windblown...sunburnt...salty... 070830 ... . woof 070830 what's it to you? who go blather from