reading soia I have no capacity to concentrate on anyone's anything. I keep getting lost in my thoughts. Mariko and Emi; echinoderms and chordates; ______ [last night, this morning]; anything. "This could be the saddest dusk I've ever seen." I listen to remind me that I existed before him, but not for very long it seems. I was a different person before I met him, because it was just when I found out my dad was dying. I wish he could have known me then, but to some extent I guess I was already broken. There were times before where we didn't talk- but it seemed so much less important. I don't know why I kept doing that, kept shutting him out spontaneously. And I remind myself that there were times where I was ready to break up with him, over much lesser things. I guess I am lucky that he even tried. I know he could bend against my will anymore. But then why won't I stop trying? Selfish. I can only think of what I need. So human. 010318 ... bijou On the Road by Jack Kerouac. 020331 ... Lime Rider pressing the go link and absorbing blather. Headache and not writing by words though they might at other times have interested me. going to the r dirctory and find a word with 'read' in it. this is it. yes. this is it. 021207 ... inconnue you fell asleep during the second book i could hear you your breathing changed to that of a sleeping childe if only i could take a look through your dream telescope i'm sure it would be beautiful to see inside the realms you go to you have such wonderful eyes 040323 ... .nom there's just so much to read 050124 ... cocoon 3 Trapped Tigers by Guillermo Cabrera Infante. I don't particularly like it, but I've more or less told myself that I'm going to finish every single book we read for the programme (about 20 books in total), so I'm plodding away through it. 050124 ... mon uow the_martyrology, cause it's about time 050321 ... mon uow been meaning to for over a year now 050321 ... mon uow i'm glad i waited till now though 050321 ... mon uow it's like that with a lot of what i'm reading reverberations of meditations i find myself screaming yes when before i think i might've been like all no way jose in my brain 050321 ... mon uow reading_reading reading 050321 ... mon uow too_much not enough 050402 ... nomme) i should stop reading 050726 ... Inanna Just another reading Just another sigh Just another kick 050918 ... tilt i hardly ever read, i hardly ever write. i only ever write when i write, never read. i never ever read what you write you never ever write what i read i write and you read, you write. i'll try to read. 051110 ... tilt i haven't kept my promise (above). suggested reading welcome, see best_of_red. 060501 ... nom not sleeping, yet 061216 ... nom i find myself screaming yes 070420 ... amy adaptability you might think that the internet has destroyed reading to replace it with something more visual, with bells and whistles. Not so fast, I'd say. For years I've been grappling with a problem where i get deja vu upon meeting people. This is not me actually meeting people again in a different guise. The simplest explanation is I am searching for a word (or two) that describes both old and new. If it's so familiar there must be a word for it, otherwise I know nothing from experience. "Lanky and sharp" , for instance. "Circumspect" I think we will be coaxed back into using our words, by daymares such as these, and reading well-written books is the only way to get in that kind of learning with any efficiency. Skimming articles doesn't fill in the gap, fast-talking theater and musicals don't aspire to it either, gruff mainstream movie dialogue is for the plot. Or, maybe kids these days won't want to know the words because they never have. If that's the case, the humanist project is done-with, unless we externalize everything in profiles that artificial intelligence is only can write. Or, I'm crazy. There's always that. 170723 ... mcdougall Me: Rappaccini’s Daughter by Nathaniel Hawthorne My daughter: Green Eggs and Ham, by Dr. Seuss (all by herself!) 211206 ... raze that's the cutest thing, mcdougall. my reading rhythm has dropped off a bit as the year has wound down. i was on a real tear for a while there, but that was when i wasn't writing much. the more i've felt words bubbling up inside of me, the less time and energy there's been to immerse myself in a great book. it still happens, but some nights i just feel worn out. not in a bad way. it's this feeling of "i've given all i have and there's nothing left". then i breathe in deep and feel myself being filled up again. i think there's a healthy balance to be struck. i hope i can find it. as the little_engine that could once said, "i think i can." 211207 ... nr my mom was such an avid reader that she'd often forget whether she'd read a book or not. sometimes she'd borrow one from the library when she wasn't sure, and then find out after reading a bit of it that she'd already read it. i always was so amazed that this happened to her so often. when i was a child, i was an avid reader as well; nothing excited me more than going to the bookstore and seeing that the new book in my favourite series was available. i'd of course read that nonstop, finish fairly quickly, and need something else right after. growing up, i read a lot less; i was just losing the attention span to read novels. i read a lot of magazines, they fit the pace i seemed to be seeking at the time. that lasted a long time; i even moved from working with books to editing magazine content in my 30s. a few of the books i worked with are still some of my favourites, though. i remember how much they struck me when i read them at work; maybe i just couldn't handle that then. i don't know if it was pandemic-related or age-related or just a coincidence, but my attention span for books came back, and now there's just a thirst for them. i am welcoming this back with open arms filled with lots of books. 220717 ... kerry mmm. i love this. books read at work deserves its own blathe. it's fun to think about the tie between books and where we read them. i read ada, or ardor and plenty of tabloids at my first job (a card and gift shop). read madame bovary in a beach house in florida over christmas. simone de beauvoir's memoirs of a dutiful daughter in a cramped hotel room in paris. 220718 ... nr thank you :) i was lucky to work with some amazing authors, including my soul_mate, and be paid to read and promote their books. i love picturing reading in a beach house or cramped paris hotel room. i also love reading outside the home; i have a possibly unusual affinity for reading in bars/on bar patios. in parks and on beaches too. maybe it's the feeling of sharing something you love doing with others around you, even if they don't know it. 220718 ... nr *in places you love 220718 what's it to you? who go blather from