control Sonya Some actually want this for the blather worlds. Blue or red, red or blue, some want to control both. They want control of content for their own enjoyment or perhaps to satisfy their poorly cloaked sense of elitism. It just can't be done. It's like the tired debate surrounding telling someone that if he or she wants to burn a US flag on US soil he or she better "get the hell out". Efforts to control only go so far, and as always, they usually fail. We humans never hesitate to unleash our mental energy this way...trying to control what others say, or think. Some try for good, others for bad, but in the end we are all part of a massive amount of waste at times. We seek control where it cannot be maintained, blather especially. 011128 ... guitar_freak I feel like I should be able to at least understand your motives but I realize that I have no control over you. How am I supposed to understand when all I see is her face and yours and everything that has happened, will happen, and is happening now? I feel lost and betrayed, alone, and angry. Yes at you. The people I love most have turned their backs on me. Refuse to look me in the eye. Refuse to try and understand. They just keep walking when I scream out from my dark hole. Screaming and screaming from the agony of souless agony and penetrating defeat. I give up on you and her and all that has, will, or is happening. I give up on all them. Fuck it. I'd rather be alone then stepped on. I'd rather be in agony then talk to you, and I would rather admit defeat than to fool myself. Fuck you Fuck her Fuck them But I would be lying if I said I didn't need you. 020219 ... 0of46 something we wish we had, but never will those who completely control themselves lose the spontaneous spark of life that made them beautiful 020313 ... pilgrim The most we ever possess in this fashion Is the ILLUSION of Control. Reality in it's essence is a crap shoot! 020313 ... belly fire grins like poe Don't you mess with a little girl's dreams 'Cause she's liable to grow up mean Surprised you to find that I'm laughing You thought that you'd find me in tears You thought I'd be crawling the walls like a tiny mosquito and trembling in fear Well you may be king for a moment But I am a queen understand And I've got your pawns and your bishops And castles All inside the palm of my hand While you were looking the other way While you had your eyes closed While you were licking your lips 'Cause I was miserable While you were selling your soul While you were tearing a hole in me I was taking control Now I have taken control... Now I have taken control... This is beginning to feel good Watching you squirm in your shoes A small bead of sweat on your brow And a growl in your belly you're scared to let through You thought you could keep me from loving You thought you could feed on my soul But while you were busy destroying my life What was half in me has become whole While you were looking the other way While you had your eyes closed While you were licking your lips 'Cause I was miserable While you were selling your soul While you were tearing a hole in me I was taking control Now I have taken control... Now I have taken control... So this is how it feels To breathe in the summer air The feel of the sand between my toes And love inside my ear All those things that you taught me to fear I've got them in my garden now And you're not welcome here Come a little bit closer Let me look at you I gave you the benefit Of the doubt it's true But keep in mind my darling Not every saint is a fool While you were looking the other way While you had your eyes closed While you were licking your lips 'Cause I was miserable While you were selling your soul While you were tearing a hole in me I was taking control Now I have taken control... Now I have taken control... Don't you mess with me This is scaring me I live at the end of a 5 1/2 minute hallway And at the end of it all lies of course the final phenomenon of deterioration entropy which is a predictable disintegration which the curve of life ceases - everything has to fall apart Why are you always so serious? 020814 ... jinx It's been months, but for some reason, I keep thinking about it. Should I even buy into it? It was palm reading... He said I'd never find true love. In the tarot cards, he said I was fighting who I am-fighting my fate-my destiny. If my destiny is to never find true love then of course I'm going to fight it. I think I'm too guarded. I think I'm too picky-I want this fantasy love that plays out like a movie script with the perfect soundtrack and beautiful lights...the kind of movie that makes you walk out of the theatre with a funny grin... But movies aren't real-they come from people's imaginations. People are hired to play the parts and make the sunsets in the background. Maybe I am a romantic...but what fun is that without the romance? 040409 ... Bespeckled Power. 071105 ... amy adaptability yeah yeah all that must happen is to get busy and less idle having lost the desire to read most of the more controlling entries. if there were a social engineering experiment that wasn't labelled as such my bet is that you would be a part of it, as long as youthful dreams, whimsy, and other 1800s-o-philia were interwoven into the fabric of its economic structure. go ahead keep stealing your children's energy sources and setting the scene for the new droves of inland overpopulation. it might very well be the right thing to do and the right way to do it but trust me, sir, i wouldn't know and i mostly only say it to flatter you. we all need to be flattered! you've got the ticket! if the ax keeps falling (sorry to reference injury! not my fault!) we all have to know we haven't been wasting just about the whole shebang in a mere 300 years of people-history. and i can only vainly wish that the positive side of effectiveness were not so excrutiatingly micromanaged with no guarantee of benefit or recompense. (comparatively speaking of course of course. & plus you've heard it before) letter writing, it's for the birds! (i mean that in the most positive light any bird can fathom or muster) those congresspeople have nothing but ears for their re-election. why should they be re-elected? why bother? take it away. get focused on the task at hand. the next guy will study up on the goals of the party. be party people! these drunks have taken away our ability to think grouptastically with their fogged assumptions, gossip, and questions regarding some (actually not so elusive) verisimilitude. seriously i can see why a president could need reelection but those congresspeople can go ahead and be cogs with records of promises and votes serving their future career as... businesspeople. (or what have you)(it's gotta be something with power or influence, to be worth their while in the party scene overcumbent to them in the interests of people, planet, thought and ether development ! (end speecherific pms show) 130217 what's it to you? who go blather from