tired stupidpunkgirl every bone in my body is tired i feel so old i just want to give up crawl under a pile of blankets for the rest of my life how will i survive if i'm only 16? and i have years to go i don't want to experience life anymore what it's showed me so far hasn't impressed me so maybe i'll sleep instead 010214 ... guitar_freak it is so amazing each one of us feels so alone and yet we all seem to be suffering from the same symptoms? 010228 ... silentbob we should all get together and have a massive orgy 010301 ... soia we should all get together and beat eachother senseless, and then hug that's what I'm (afraid) looking for 010301 ... minus weary worn tattered bruised beat. yet, optimistic. 010301 ... bird mad channelling robert smith ...disguised oblivion... please stop loving me i am none of these things 010301 ... dB um 010312 ... mikey why dont we all get together beat each other senseless then have a big orgy then all get full body massages THEN hug. or lets not and say we did. man that was fun! 010312 ... dB I'm tired, I can't explain All the troubled notions scrambling my brain I'm tired, let me be for now There was a time when I was interested by you But it isn't now If only I could escape Leave a dummy in my place Slip away through the walls Not listen at all I'm tired, I can't explain I may as well have been talking to myself By the look on your face I'm high, I don't feel myself I think I should feel happy But only want to lie down If only I could escape Leave a dummy in my place Slip away through the walls Not listen at all I'm tired, I might go away I'm tired, I've no more to say I'm tired, I'm tired So take me, take me away 010312 ... nocturnal it's so wierd how I just don't get tired anymore. not at the normal time to do so anyway. I get tired usually between 1 and 4 in the afternoon. but even when I don't take a nap all day, by 9 or 10 that night, I'm ready to go till morning, and sometimes, like tonight, I do. still not tired. this is insane. 010417 ... daxle I'm lost in a tiredness my life is swirling in pieces it's not all bad it's not all good ("everyone goes on and on") there's no major synopsis no conclusions not even one major feeling I get confused when I'm ok sometimes cause I spent so much time not being ok but it's good... 011002 ... nocturnal uh huh. yes. very much so. 011110 ... bespeckled I'm tired of waiting for you I'm falling asleep at my computer, and I'm angry at you for making me wait this long. Hurry up, i want you. Hurry up, i want to go to bed. 020403 ... misstree my body aches, slowly groaning dissent and i pull my head up to watch another set of headlights approaching, hoping... are they slowing? time stretches as they pass. my ride out of this place will never arrive. 020705 ... Sonya In more ways than one I am tired...fed up and ready to begin. I've been alive, dead, resurrected, killed, but still for some insane reason...needed. A purpose? For me? Indeed... I am tired. Give me a huge hammer to keep by my internal bed so that I may smash that damn alarm clock to pieces. 020905 ... kerry there are people i miss right now. there are things i'd like to write down that i just can't. i want to watch that funny woody allen movie, "whats up, tigerlily" once more and get another superchunk cd and yeah. i want to talk to james. i dreamed about james again. i hate it. there's a cigar in my purse and i don't know what to do with it. 021226 ... mcdougall I am so tired... My mind wants to type and write but my body wants to sleep. I try to think of something to say or add but all i can think of is... I_am_so_tired. Good night everyone. Dream well. 030123 ... Bespeckled I'm tired of all the crap I have to claim as mine. Crap abounds! But it's nice to find something nice once in a while. I guess the crap makes the nice nicer. Like the uglies make the beautiful more beautiful. And the short make the tall more tall. Oh, just bury me in this crap, to make my good even better. 030819 ... well thats cheery. thankyou mind. sinking into a lake of apathy you reach out and grasp for something to hold your fingers reach thin air sinking further you panic and drown. 040716 ... newme myalgic encephalomyelitis 040716 ... newme my doctor figures i've been 'sick' since i was four, eventhough it didn't become apparent till i was thirteen. i'm trying to get better. 040716 ... newme http://www.cfids-cab.org/MESA/ 040716 ... newme “The term[s] ‘fatigue’ and ‘chronic fatigue’ never existed in this entity until it was put into [the name] in 1988…The whole concept of fatigue has warped our understanding of this illness.” Byron Hyde, M.D., The Nightingale Research Foundation, Ottawa, Canada “This illness is to fatigue what a nuclear bomb is to a match. It’s an absurd mischaracterization.” Laura Hillenbrand, Bestselling author of Seabiscuit “Patients are united in their dislike of the term ‘fatigue’.” Thomas Hennessy, Jr., RESCIND, Inc. personally, i'm tired of ME. it's tiring 040716 ... newme "...The Canadian Expert Consensus Panel has published a medical milestone, the first clinical case definition for the disease known as myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome. This definition is clearly a vast improvement over the CDC's 1994 Fukuda criteria, which led to misunderstanding in both research and treatment modalities by making "fatigue" a compulsory symptom but by downplaying or making optional the disease's hallmark of post-exertional sickness and other cardinal ME/CFS symptoms. In sharp contrast to the Fukuda criteria, this new clinical case definition makes it compulsory that in order to be diagnosed with ME/CFS, a patient must become symptomatically ill after exercise and must also have neurological, neurocognitive, neuroendocrine, dysautonomic, and immune manifestations. In short, symptoms other than fatigue must be present for a patient to meet the criteria. This case definition, which incorporates some of the current research on dysautonomia, cardiac, and immune problems, was published in the Journal of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Vol. 11 (1) 2003..." people often say "oh you're just tired. everybody gets tired". 040716 ... uow sometimes i tell myself i'm just tired 040929 ... cocoon Ooof. Really freaking tired. Too much thinking. Too much commuting. Not enough sleep. Just getting used to the new life. 060929 ... cocoon Cramps. Hay fever. School. Headache. Want to sleep, but I know I need to cook & eat and study. One of those is not going to happen [probably the studying]. 070423 ... Aswad it's a shame, i think everyone must be tired, tired of wanting to be something more than they are, tired of not feeling satisfied, tired of an endless list of things that don't really matter. Children seem to have a lot of energy, a lot of bounce probably because they don't worry so much about what is tomorrow or what was yesterday. - "Not Satisfied" 070423 ... lost .. the situation is a drag.... ....they must keep on living somehow... ..... how can they let this life go on? .... 070523 ... red eyed birdmad two hours of sleep, but not in one solid block i am disoriented i feel disconnected from reality 070523 ... clarity mmm... ride the wave, if it sucks you under, don't fight it... let it role you how it wants.. then only you will find air. i know this very well - trust me ! if you feel you are loosing grip don't panic it only makes it worse, fear causes more fear... 070523 ... Fido Thar blade above me crown Sways a'gentle in the breezes, So I carry with care my own Fer there's danger in my sneezes! 070524 ... no reason too tired not to want more 080516 ... no reason it's now that i miss and want 080516 ... steampunkrock of this endless dirge. this drone. 080628 ... cocoon after a hard days learning.... 090209 ... belly fire I have never been so tired before; tired on the inside. 090921 ... no reason so tired it defies description 090922 ... cocoon Oof. Comes from using my brain again I suppose. Also, ugh, the weather. Just want to curl up in bed. I have things I should probably do, but the temptation to curl up in bed will probably win out. 101027 ... gja oof_v_ooph 101028 ... nr i think my soul is tired. so much unfulfilling work and so little play and so much guilt over any potential play. so much planning to get places and trying to convince oneself it'll be worth it and that the complications will be sorted out. so much being tired of complications. so tired of mountains. so tired of feeling like life is spent climbing mountains. trudging, wishing, wanting, straining. sometimes giving up and taking the easy way out just feels like it would be such a relief. 150508 ... epitome of incomprehensibility N., the person whom I asked out, asked me on a date in turn (for Saturday night; it was Thursday) but he didn't specify where, so when I heard from my longtime friend J an hour later inviting me to a possible party at that time, I asked, "Oh, I've got an idea, can I bring N?" and she said sure, but cautioned that the party was just an idea so far. Of course I got excited and nervous. It was so smart of me, wasn't it, to combine two different social events? Saves time and all that. Anyway, I went and invited him and told him he could bring something food or drink-like, and he went the classy route and said he'd bring a bottle of wine, and so I told J that. She hadn't contacted me by last night, and I had to work this morning, so when I came home I wasted time on the Internet before finally opening my emails. Sure enough, this morning J had emailed, "Oh, so it turns out there's no party after all" and I burst into tears. Because here I'd been getting nervous, scratching the skin on my shoulders and losing sleep (to what purpose, I may add - neither make me look more attractive) and neglecting what I'm supposed to be doing, which is a workbook on pronouns that was supposed to be due yesterday. (Then I saw raze's post in blatherskite_dreams and burst out laughing.) It's almost five o'clock. I am no good at this work thing and no good at this social thing. But I will admit all this, too, is somewhat amusing. Of course it seems serious when you're in the middle of it. Thoughts like "I can't see him alone - how can I date someone I don't even KNOW?" as if no one's ever gone on blind dates before, or thoughts like "English is not his first language and the only other boyfriend I had, well, his first language wasn't English either and things didn't work out (at least partly because he had to move back to Europe, but hey)" seem reasonable at the time. Even worse, thoughts like "I'll never speak to J again; how can she DO this to me???" seem just reasonable enough, while I can tell thoughts like "I am giving up all socializing ever," are not. That edge, that partial awareness, is dangerous. That space between disappointment and anger. I can't speak to her such a mood. I think I'm in a better mood now. I'll call him and then her. I'll say sorry to him, but I really am tired, and I can't go on a date with deadlines hanging over me. No - I'm getting hysterical again, thinking I can't do anything. Please tell me to stop thinking like this and to finish my salad. I ate three peanut butter squares but not my salad. 150509 ... e_o_i Off the phone now. How does it work that he likes me? I don't want to break people's hearts, even slightly. I'm not good at this. I'm not even good-looking. Oh look, it's raining - I can go out and run in the rain and cry. No, now it's not raining that hard. Ah well. Missed my chance. 150509 ... epitome of incomprehensibility My news is bruised, I've got the zoo-toothed blues. Had to look up "contusion" to hide my confusion and my eyes are blue on the underside, and my ears half-blocked as my mouth yawns wide. It's the tired side. Life on the tired side. Life on the tire slide; half-remembered larks (not the birds) in the old Ecomuseum park, and why rhyme? It was a tire walk-through not a slide and now I'm dealing with my emails like the work emails: sorting, starring Gmail and The Colour Yellow: A Mythobiography. Julian Barnes in Your Living Room. Ineluctable Modality is cramped for style guides, cosmopolitan dictates, cocktails, dicktails, details, dovetails, lists, lists, lists, lists, and... 150929 ... raze some days no amount of rest will fill what isn't there. 220304 ... e_o_i 150509: characterizing Jürgen as my ex-boyfriend was somewhat in the realm of self-delusion, but the fear that Nestor and I wouldn't understand each other? Spot-on. Why did I blathe this under "tired", though? I mean, I was tired, but I was worrying about fairly unrelated thigns. 220305 ... e_o_i Things, even. I never worry about unrelated thigns; all the thigns I thign of come in families. 220305 ... tender_square from ruby waking me repeatedly when she couldn't settle and couldn't sleep alone. from going to bed too late too many nights in a row. from having to take care of another living creature when i'm accustomed to being selfish in the morning. from worrying about my dad being home alone and if he'll feed himself, if ruby will be good, if his cell phone will be on for me to check in. tired from working forty-hours and soaking in new information. tired from spending more than an hour per day commuting from one community to another during construction season. tired of being the only daughter to show up for this shit. tired of being reliable. tired of being responsible. tired. tired. tired. 230615 what's it to you? who go blather from