gone scarlett gone is that fantasical picture in my mind i had of you. gone is the light in your eyes. gone are the years apart. gone are my feelings for you. 011114 ... Toxic_Kisses ...for now 011218 ... marching_ants what you'll be soon 011218 ... ever-so-slowly insane away to continue on the tracks laid before me but i cant stop looking back 020802 ... bespeckled Where have all the people gone? They aren't walking the streets below her window. They aren't slamming their doors in the halls of her apartment. No kids shouting for ice cream instead of breakfast, no dogs peeing on the grass outside, no birds swooping across the sky and grazing windshields. Where is all the noise? Where is all the sound? She rises from her bed, uncomprehending. She reaches out her hand and timidly touches her doorknob. She grasps and turns it with a loud squeak. Across the town, a tree shudders with the echo. She steps into the hall, her feet foreigners to the hushed floor. She steps outside. Her toes recoil at the feel of a quiet world beneath them. A hushed world. The trees don't move. The wind doesn't blow. She picks a twig off the ground and snaps it. The sound is swallowed up into silence. The thud of her footsteps is absorbed by the earth and turned into unreality. As if it had never existed. She breaks off a branch and throws it, enraged, at the building. The world doesn't respond. She listens with all her might, to nothing. The deepest, loudest silence she has ever endured. It doesn't stop; the emptiness engulfs her. She opens her mouth to scream, and nothing escapes. Her voice refuses to leave her chest. It won't be swallowed up like everything else. She lies in the middle of the street, and tries to fall asleep. There doesn't seem to be anything else left to do. She watches a lone leaf fall from a tree on the sidewalk. It floats for hours, drifting on air that isn't there, in space that doesn exist. As she holds her breath and watches, it touches the cement and lies still. It never moves; it never made a sound. A tear slides down her cheek and mixes with the gravel. She closes her eyes and waits for an endless sleep to wash over. Her face is stained with tears. No wind rustles her hair. 030107 ... belly fire and what if you were what then what then? 030430 ... silentbob you've fallen from the basis of my periphery. 050206 ... lulie but please not forgotten. 050331 ... DammitJanet lost in the boxes unseen. here, i am free from the memories that plagued my existence. is this a good thing? life does go on i suppose, even though i never thought it possible. of course i still wish all good things to happen for you, things to get better, for things to be okay. i can never forget all you have done for me, all the time we have shared, all the we have created together. i still thank you for being you, still love you, still miss you. still regret. still hurt. maybe it's wrong to make it easier by packing it all away. one thing i still don't understand though, is when you accused me of replacing you. i never replaced you. i could never dream of it. you were always at the top, always most important, always first. one on hand i suppose i can see your point, but i still don't understand it, because it wasn't true. now it is you'll never be completely gone. i'll always love you too much for that. 060330 ... belly fire thank you for coming back here, I have waited for you, and here you are. 060331 ... two i reached the top of the stairs too late, and all of the lifeboats are quickly becoming specks on the horizon. i am merely watching the water rise around me. 060401 ... belly fire everything is. everything. you're so cruel and so you took everything. 070411 ... gja not here 100802 ... gja But there. And it is OK. Really and surprisingly OK. Is it possible that I am the luckiest man in the world because you are gone? 100803 what's it to you? who go blather from