stairs inconnue hurts too much to sit here why am i what am i looking for what is anything anyway how come i've been this way before last morning a ghost pushed me down the stairs of an old house i've been told to stop going there i had one good dream at least i went to portugal 040428 ... cocoon Dutch stairs. Really narrow and curved, with a much steeper step (stair?) than you'd imagine. Impossible to get a suitcase up those stairs. 040428 ... flux i feel like the older model something is keeping after and it says i'll carry after 040429 ... flux i don't remember writing this. i don't know what it means. 040429 ... newme world falling away 040724 ... thunderbuck ram The stairs in my dreams go nowhere. They just keep climbing higher and higher with no doors leading off and no landings. And no room to turn and go back. Anyway, they disappear behind me as I climb. 041029 ... mon uow are cracking 050307 ... nom i missed a step again landed on a knee and a hip fell against the front door the "knock and" sign came down 061106 ... nom *sign/doorknocker 061106 ... nom yay for not paying attention me 061106 ... nom the stairs alone make me not want to move (back) there 061110 ... raze last night i was walking down the carpet-covered platforms that have always troubled me the most. i didn't have to sit to start. i was on my feet the whole time. like a normal person. the trick was not noticing what i was doing until it was already done. though it was only a dream, there was something wonderful about the moment. so mundane and free of fear. 220923 ... tender_square "i like it when the customer is ready." he had his clipboard in hand as he climbed the steps. "let me show you where it's going." i turned toward the staircase. "oh..." he hesitated. "we don't do stairs." i stopped on the first tread and turned. "nooooo! i made sure to tell them it was coming to a second floor!" he smiled. "i'm just messing with you. of course we can get it up there." i marveled as the two movers carried an apartment-sized fridge and stove up the staircase without weight belts, the sheer range of motion and stamina of their bodies hoisting a hundred pounds of stainless steel and fiberglass. 230302 what's it to you? who go blather from