serious kyla Everything that I have done seems to have been done in order to avoid making some decision or another. Even the decisions I make are made to avoid making some other decision. That makes me feel feverish and scared, a thousand pens chewed. And I am confessing this in some distracted, selfish way. I'm not even entirely agreeing with myself. I am saying, "I am Jill. Jill eats apples". I am not Jill. I can't think about apples. Apples? I know not apples! 020218 ... pilgrim I picked up three pieces of rough granite pebbles while i was out walking about a month ago. I keep them in the right pocket of my leather jacket. Now whenever I am wearing it I take my hand and I grind the stones against each other, Becoming as it were, A Force of Nature. I, am, Erosion. I am the tumbling mountain stream, The wind Driven Sand of Time. For all I know, This IS the reason for my existance. To release the long imprisoned dust of the primordial stone and set it free upon this age. To drift and be taken up by plant and animal, and resume the endless cycle of life. The stones are getting quite smooth and soft ot the touch now. I have tasted the dust on my fingertips. And it is good. 020218 ... I am The Great I am... The famous word of the overly worried... Or, Really responsible people. 020218 ... slow development music_to_end_wars_with. get down, now. 031206 ... past "do you think our relationship is serious or fun?" she asked, as if it was one or the other. i don't think we'd have a relationship if it wasn't fun, and i don't think i'd cross the country for a weekend together if it wasn't serious. 091031 what's it to you? who go blather from