men silentbob fools 040806 ... belly fire Lenny ran at me with his arms open and wrapped them around me without a word. "You looked like you needed it," he said later. This is Lenny in a nutshell, endlessly looking to extend himself to others. I think of Blair's deep voice when he is sincere and paternal. He listens and he remembers. He may prank and be a bear but he is easy to love. These two men are so different, in every way they are each other's opposite. However they demonstrate care and concern in such equal ways, uniquely and fully. I would not compare them for anything but what they offer of themselves to those around them. 040820 ... Soma I'm so fucking tired of men's ways, I'm weary; I'm worn, still I battle on, though my spirit is torn. working so hard, but never breaking quite free, will you stop fucking denying my goddamn equity? I'm fed up with the struggle, the constant fight, the weight on my shoulders, by day and by night. "yet she persisted" against hope's slow fade enduring the path that before her was laid. 230626 ... tender_square "perhaps those reactions are a need to be away from men for a time," he suggested. i don't want to feel hardened to them. the women in my social circle echo complaints of being the present parent and spouse. the relief of extrication passes through me while a lineage of female self-sufficiency threatens to make armour. i shamefully admit to my analyst that i don't want to think of men as the weaker sex and yet i can't seem to help myself: we bear the burdens and the children. "so many sons have been abandoned by their fathers," he says. "this is a widespread problem"--one of absentee figures and inaccessible feelings compounded generationally. and we are all searching for the father to lead us to ourselves. 230801 what's it to you? who go blather from