horrible raze he said i looked horrible. like someone who hadn't slept in four or five months. i said that sounded about right. i could convince myself i was still halfway human as long as i was doing something on my feet. as soon as i sat down, i felt like i was disintegrating. getting my brain to hold onto more than one thing at a time was almost impossible. even the cognitive tunnel vision i was able to manage was erratic at best. i was trying to carry on a conversation when i caught myself with the salt_shaker in my hand. i had to stop myself from drinking it. 230215 what's it to you? who go blather from